Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I'm not offended!


This was my third baby... I had no illusions that I would spring right back to pre-pregnant shape any time soon. I knew you left the hospital still looking full term. Or I knew I did.

The first week was the hardest, I couldn't even figure out what to throw on to come down and watch TV with my mom and Ross. I couldn't even figure out what to throw on if I was ALONE with the kids-- or what to throw on to sleep. By definition, nothing in my closet (or Ross's, sadly) could be "thrown on". It was more of a peel and shimmy and tuck.

My teenie friend, Lizzie had always told me of times people asked her if she was pregnant after she'd had a baby. I always assured her it was actually a compliment. It meant the REST of her body was still teenie tiny and all she had was tummy left from her 9-pounders. Who wouldn't?

I promised myself (knowing it would happen this time), that it wouldn't even offend me, why WOULDN'T people think I'm pregnant? I'd rather that than have them assume that I ALWAYS sport this.... unique.... figure.

So when I went to the gym yesterday for the first time since I had Finn, and decided to wear a fitted ribbed tank just like I would have before, I knew perfectly well that my very-much-still-over-sized tummy was on display. I had decided it was a lot easier for me to dress like I'm still pregnant and just embrace my very convex profile than to try to find something loose enough to actually be loose.

So obviously I shouldn't have been surprised when this nice random, older man stopped at my elliptical machine and started telling me about his daughter who was in labor RIGHT THEN. He was rattling on about her as I was thinking "hmm.... how nice, he must recognize me from before and know I just had a baby"...

That's what's sad. It didn't click--- until he finally said "so when are you due?"

"Oh..... er... I'm not pregnant, I just HAD a baby--- uh... but I'm not offended!" --- I really did belt that out at the end. In some attempt to convince myself I'd won? I was mature and realistic and fully prepared for those kinds of questions... wasn't even going to phase me... I'd promised myself I wouldn't be offended.

But now there's still this uncomfortable guy in front of me trying to back-pedal as I try desperately to make it all UN-awkward and give him (or me) excuses like "he was almost 10 pounds!" and "it was my third!".... and "you know.... all that holiday eating...sheesh!"... while he's slowly inching back and just repeating--- "well congratulations."

And then I'm left there pretending to read my book on my new kindle (LOVE it)... wondering who around me was tuned in and is now feeling sorry for me. And as I resist the urge to make an announcement on the gym's loud speaker, "NOT offended! Fully prepared for this reaction!--- aware of abnormally large tummy!" I realize that there's just no way around it. I can't protect my pride by convincing everyone I'm fine with my bowl full of jelly. Turns out, it's quite embarrassing- for everyone.

Oh-- if only I could freeze Finn at today but fast-forward my body a couple of months...

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

For what it's worth, I'm still working on getting rid of the jelly...14 months after my FIRST child. So be gentle with yourself - you just had this little guy and you'll bounce back. And either way, he's totally worth it, right?? :)

Brandon or Michelle said...

hold everything--YOU HAVE ALREADY GONE TO THE GYM?! what in the world? you are one tuff lady.

I'm living for your posts these days--living vicariously, even through the big tummy-ness! you handle it all beautifully.

in other words, I'm the president of the lillie fan club. :)

Lizzie said...

yeah. umm, i'm with michelle. going to the gym?! don't they tell you 6 weeks after a c-section. I realize you are super tough, but seriously. stay home. take a nap.

and i agree with the whole "not offended". the worst part is trying to assure THEM and make THEM feel better. and it's just super uncomfortable for everyone.

it'll pass.

did you forget you just birthed a GIGANTIC baby boy??

and by the way, for anyone else reading my comment....I've seen Lillie in person and she looks GREAT. BETTER than she SHOULD at this point.

Sarie said...

PUHLEAZZZZZE.

"Stay home. Take a nap.".... I totally agree....

Matilda's 8 months.... I'm still 20 pounds over... but I have all the faith in the world it'll come off when I stop nursing.. crossing my fingers... those big babies do it to ya.

Heidi said...

Can't stop laughing....Thanks!

Christin said...

I heard once that you NEVER EVER ask a woman if she's pregnant unless you see the baby actually physically coming out of her body. You are beautiful inside and out Lillie. Enjoy that little boy.

Christin

S.A.S. said...

I'm dying laughing. Hilarious. I went to the dentist 9 days after having J and my hygienest belts out, "I was under the impression you'd HAD your baby!" To which I replied, "I did! But just barely!" And then I had to spend 45 minutes with her hands in my mouth as she tried to back-peddle. Of course I'd tried to tell her that I JUST had a baby and KNEW I looked pregnant still. And I wasn't offended. But you just can't ease someone's conscience after that.

I think you look beautiful. And know that your body manages an incredible comeback. I'm with everyone else, get out of the gym! Take a nap!

Ashley said...

Oh man! That is the worst! I have been that guy and I vowed at that very moment I would never ask anything even if they looked 9 months pregnant! You live and learn. It will go away. You are drop-dead-beautiful, jelly belly and all!

Missy said...

Oh Lillie, this post made me laugh. At least you had the kindle to distract you after he backed away:)

But, wait a second. Finn still looks like SUCH a newborn to me. Like not opening his eyes newborn. Can't believe you are already at the gym.

Lindsay Griffeth said...

The GYM already?!?!? Why am I not surprised? :)

Anonymous said...

I say embrace the way we all look! Seriously our bodies are constantly changing (maybe not as fast as we'd like, but they are!) and there's ALWAYS something wonderful about us, bigger belly or not! Seriously, you've got a wonderful bundle of joy, I'd just laugh it off :) Life is full of awkward moments, we'd have less stories to tell if it wasn't. This comment is probably corny but hey, isn't that a key part of life? A positive outlook :)

moliver said...

That's a great story. But you totally won't have that for long BECAUSE you were in the gym. You're awesome! My youngest is almost 4 and I've been asked that. Guess I should have hit up the gym 3 years ago! =o)