Twelve weeks on Monday… but I couldn't wait another day

This was taken at like 10 and a half weeks. I think I usually go to the doctor earlier, so that first ultrasound is just a heart beat or a circle in a sac…. this was amazing to me that I could already see the baby! Wiggling…. floating… arms moving…. fingers.

It never gets old. Amazing.

Ross and I were talking and it's almost even more emotional and amazing this time around because we're that much more aware of what it all means. I can hear Sophia pray fervently on her knees, BY HERSELF in the other room that Heavenly Father not give us a big earthquake "I won't forget about you, and please don't ever ever forget to NOT make a big earthquake" (we had a little one the other night and she's been watching a lot of the Living Scriptures), and I can listen to Mila tell me the details of her snow-monster dream and how she doesn't want to go on the Matterhorn again even though the snow-monster said "RARRRR I'm nice Mila, I'm your friend!"...

…. and I can't wait to hear what this little one is going to have to say. With two parents AND two older sisters to adore and teach and lead, I can only imagine.

The first few weeks were rough, I felt really icky and nauseous and tired and emotional… and then my dad passed. It was a lot. I have good friends---- thanks…. all of the kind words were that much more needed.

I feel more lumpy and heavy than I ever remember feeling at the beginning of pregnancy--- I'm not even 12 weeks and if you're local, I'm SURE you've been wondering if I'm having a baby… or just ate something similar in size. The only thing that made me feel better those first few weeks was eating, so I seriously ate ALL day long. I was so sick of food and coming up with things that sounded palatable. But it was worth it to curb the nausea.

So I don't know if it's partly showing earlier on the third baby, and partly eating like I'm storing up for winter, or just entirely the latter. But I'm certainly nervous for the next 28 weeks at this rate. I stare at my closet and try clothes on for like a half hour before I go anywhere in one of the same two tunics. Or work out clothes of course. And it's swim suit season. Rad.

And then last night I checked my old friend Erika's blog, from my BYU Hawaii days…. she's pregnant too…. but apparently is of a different species than me. Check her out. You kill me Erika.

BUT--- it's worth it. I'm so aware that it's all worth it. I can't wait to feel it kick and elbow and stretch and hiccup… I can't wait to have Ross lay his head on my belly to hear the heart beat (he really can--- it's comforting at the end), and make him leave his hand there at an awkward angle longer than he'd like, to feel the movement. I hate being pregnant but I LOVE being pregnant. You know?