Tuesday, March 09, 2010

And it's not even hump day yet...

(The photo has pretty much nothing to do with the post, but it's a happy visual, and one of the few images I have on my new computer, courtesy of The Image is Found. What a fun idea right?)

My sweet sister, Lacy is about ready to have her third baby, and is feeling it. She blogged about it here--- and all I could think of was how much I wish I could relieve her burden a little bit. My kids are at a good phase, I'm NOT pregnant, and life is pretty smooth.

But then this afternoon we had to LEAVE a friend's house which is always like the end of the universe, and my kids got grumpy, and I got grumpy--- and sometimes when I'm grumpy I start making lists of things I don't like in my head. Just to feed the fire, of course. I know I should be counting my blessings since I'm not bursting with child and nursing two ear-infections like my sister is--- but instead, I took the misery-loves-company approach. And decided to bullet some things I don't like. Why not?

Here are some things I'm NOT enjoying, today.

-Living so far from Lacy -- and not having a live-in nanny like Angelina so I can just fly out and stay with her to help after she has her little boy.

- Potty training

- The owie on Mila's cheek that she keeps picking in bed so bad that I'm worried she'll make a permanent scar. On that gorgeous baby-girl skin.

- That I've had two different friends come to me post-baby to borrow my clothes until they can fit back into theirs. Good for the ego. I get it Rachelle.... it only makes sense.... but still--- I'm like the Lane Bryant of the neighborhood. Cool.

- That after my camera workshop, I wish I bought the OTHER outrageous lens instead of the outrageous lens I did buy.

- In general- buyers remorse. I really hate buyers remorse. And I get it almost inevitably if I buy something over $100.

- That I can waste so much money on things under $100 and then wonder where it all went. Target!!!!! You home-wrecker!!!!! (Not yet, but I could imagine that marriages could be ruined... it seems most husbands prefer to keep their wives far far away from it's wonderfully stocked shelves. I love you Target... forever and ever.)

- My tan walls--- why does it feel like as soon as I moved in and painted my walls-- I also became addicted to design blogs where walls are white, floors are wood, and life is clearly just SOOOOOOOO much better. just kidding. But really--- can you do white walls when you have tile, tract home carpet, and tiny baseboards? I'm thinking it has to be part of a whole package. Where are all these hard-wood floor homes with cool moldings and slanted ceilings coming from anyway?? Not desert-suburbs, USA... I'll tell you that...

- That I can't keep a clean car. I'm disgusting. It's a part of my life I'm so ashamed of. And the worst part is that I'm so used to it that sometimes I forget and let someone peek their head in. It's not until I see them try to suppress the shudder that I remember that old milk-sippies, squished grapes and a half-eaten hot-dog on the floor are not normal. And don't smell good. Ross, why did you marry me? I'm disgusting. Seriously, I once ate a little 100-calorie-cookie out of Mila's car seat because I was hungry--- and it was there. It was in my mouth for point 5 seconds before I tasted the desitin. Meaning, a: I was.... eating desitin, and b: I was eating a cookie that had been TOUCHING the desitin. uhhhh... don't know about you but I only put desitin one place. I'm DISgusting.

- The fact that I can't post any random old photos because I'm using my new imac and don't have any on here yet and CAN'T figure out how to get it to open up my external hardrive. Any pointers??? I googled it and it looks like I might need to reformat the external, and erase everything in the process?? What a pain.

- Negative Nancies. Sorry--- I'm done. I know it was all pretty serious. Life is rough.

17 comments:

staceykt22 said...

You make me laugh. Really laugh.

Lacy said...

So funny! Except the part about living so far from me. Makes me want to cry when I think about it. But the rest- comic genius. And about buyers remorse... that is why I never change my house or make little improvements. I am afraid to regret. At least you're still doing cool stuff all the time. That's why he married you- you are funny, witty, you are a doer- get your hands dirty, figure it out as you go- doer, and you are bea-u-ti-ful. It's a strange world where you are the Lane Bryant of the block but don't worry about it. Irene tried to barrow my "skinny jeans" after she had Christian and they were still too big! Yeah- that feels even better! Love you!

Lowdogg said...

You ARE disgusting. But we love you.

This was awesome.

alliehoopes said...

ya but we call them debbie downers. waaa whaaaaaaaaa. if i buy your old stuff will you deliver it?

Rachelle said...

I just love you for all of the reasons you listed...oh and by-the-way, can I borrow your Hudson's for our girl's night out tomorrow night? You'd think I'm just trying to be funny, but I'm totally serious!

Rachelle said...

P.S...They don't sell Hudson's at Lane Bryant. That should at least make you feel a little better.

Happy said...

That made me cry tears it was so funny. You're hilarious! Thanks again all of your help!!

DeLaine Broderick said...

I was laughing out loud! Too funny. No worries a lot of us have done things like the whole 100 calorie snack, but no one ever talks about it.

One time we were at my sisters house and my husband was eating a doughnut and feeding it to Lexi when she was almost 2. Then my niece came in and asked him where he got the doughnuts and he said "in the pantry." So she looks at them and says "Um those have been in there for like 6 months" and I inspected them closer and saw that they were chocolate at one point, but now looked like powdered ones. Then Dave says "I was wondering why my tongue was going NUMB!!! And he was feeding them to my BABY!
But you know I still love him just like Ross loves you!

Nana from San Diego said...

Lillie, could you please write a book, to keep us all in stitches? So, if grumpy makes you hilarious, I'm not sure that's so bad, in your case. Hugs!

AMY AND MIKEY said...

OK- wow, I really wish I had your email address right now- I think I will email Lizzie- and have her email it to you since I don't have your address- don't worry it's not mean- it's good, but not something I can post here-

Kodi said...

Not sure why this post made me really miss you! :) I love it all. Wish we could've had you and yours for a little bit longer this weekend! Come again soon, please.

PS Put a big fat bandaid on Mila's cheek at night. . .that should stop her right? :)

PPS Lane Bryant? Come on Lillie. I only wish I could shop there instead of Motherhood.

Anonymous said...

You might need this to access your hardrive:
http://www.apple.com/downloads/macosx/system_disk_utilities/ntfs3g.html

Katie said...

Pretty good Lillie. Glad I'm not the only one who's eaten the nasties in the car seat and then thought better of it. :) Love you!

Katie said...

Pretty good Lillie. Glad I'm not the only one who's eaten the nasties in the car seat and then thought better of it. :) Love you!

sheena said...

Lane Bryant of the neighborhood.

That is the funniest thing I have ever heard!!

I have also found that clean cars are overrated. I'll clean mine when my kids are grown.


and.......you WON my giveaway!! hooray!

The Hepworths said...

Oh my gosh, I'm laughing so hard Adam asked me what in the world I was reading. You are NOT disgusting, but normal, and I love it. I practically cried over the desitin tasting cookie...hilarious. AND, I don't think I ever seen you skinnier... you are the mom we all covet, always fashionable.

JCW said...

Delurking because this was too funny.. I officially feel much better about my car knowing there is someone cool out there who confessed to the same shame. : )