Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I knew I should have worn make-up.

Some thing's wrong with me. I think I've lost my identity. I noticed something about myself last night. Let me start over.

We've got a new 24hr fitness in town and I thought I'd try it out on their 7 day free pass. So I printed one up, figured it worked starting from the first day I took it in. I forgot to read the fine print.

They let me in when I got there. It was 7pm so I was flying solo.... Ross at home with the girls. Now my real need is to try out the gym WITH the girls so we can do the whole routine with the kids club that looks so cool, errands after, and see if it fits better in our lives than Golds. They hold my licence hostage so I can't leave afterwards and when I'm done of course I have to wait around for the sales agent. It ends up the membership manager is the one who leads me over to a table and as we walk, asks if someone has already gone over prices with me. I'm honest and confess that I have heard prices but that if I join I'll of course be joining through Costco where it's $300 for 2 years. What like $12 a month?? Can't beat that.

Of course they don't get paid when we join that way and his face makes that pretty clear. Then he turns around and says "well you better hurry up and buy it if you hope to come back because this pass has expired"

"oh no-- I thought it started when I came in"
"nope" with those raised brows like, 'too bad so sad'
"well, my real reason in printing out the pass was so I could come with my kids and see how they liked it"
"oh, they'll like it."
"But I'd really like to make sure. You know, see if I like the girls that work in the kids club and all of that."

He shrugs, and his shoulders say to me "not my prob girl! --- the pass has expired-- end of convo-- Take your costco-shopping, gym-pass-mooching, work-out-needing booty outta here!(his shoulders are totally ghetto.)
"So there's nothing you can do for me? Seriously? I thought the pass worked for a week-- I wouldn't have printed it up if I'd realized...."
"You want more free stuff??? You already used your free stuff."

and then I'm a little offended and with a very perplexed slash annoyed look on my face (I'm sure)

"I guess I just figured that the two years of my membership would be worth the extra hour or two of our visiting your gym to decide. I figured that was the whole point of the 7-day pass. Not actually just to trick people into using just a day of it."

"Really?" (he says all sassy like I would in an argument just like this which really threw me off since a: HE's the one that works there and b: he's like a 50 year old man with a mustache and bald head) "Really, you're gonna do this?"

And then I made this face. You can't see it... but I can't help but make it even as I type this because I was and am still so confused that we were so blatantly arguing.... and that I could have sworn any second he was going to push my shoulders back with something original like "step up". And I'm very uncertain if our voices were raised of if people were watching. It's all a blur now. So I just looked at him with my mouth agape I'm sure and my eyes wide like.... where did I go wrong that he's treating me like some teenage BOY trying to milk a free pass. I'm going to join your stinking gym. I'm a grown up. I pay my bills. I have food storage. I'm always a member of a gym. I'm a member of one now--- I don't NEED your stinking free pass.... and did I mention, I'm FEMALE??? Aren't you supposed to be nice to me? innately? I'm nice! I have a very warm inviting smile! are you dead inside??!

I'm afraid to reread because I'm sure it sounds so much sillier than it was. Or worse, not silly at all and sort of just not worth telling. But somehow it was all so traumatic. Even brought the waterworks off and on through the rest of my night. It happened on a bad day of the month (sorry) so perhaps my hormones were bonkers... maybe I'm the crazy lady and he's a nice professional. Maybe I was ruder than I thought. But that's the worst part! I felt so unsure when I left if the whole sales staff thinks I'm one of those trouble customers... a rude "lady."

And this is where I've lost my identity. I've realized that when I go places with my kids.... I'm a young fun mom. Or I like to tell myself so. People smile at me because of my cute kids and I smile back. I have an excuse for all things disheveled, an excuse for my tummy, I'm in a very clear, respected genre (again... or at least I tell myself.)

When I'm out without my kids? I'm not so sure anymore. I've just realized that I don't get the pleasant glances I did when I was that "younger-cute" of my pre-baby days. I'm convinced it was different, even from women, kids, everyone.... I felt like I got a lot of smiles when I was younger. Now when I'm alone, I'm don't have enough fresh-young-cute to elicit friendly faces on my own, but I don't have my sweet girls to get them for me.... or maybe it's all just me and I'm so grateful for the peace and quiet of being alone that I don't interact with anyone... or I've forgotten how to be social and just stare at the floor. Hmpf. All I know is I've lost somethin'.

And then I wonder, who DO I look like on my own? I sort of feel all mommy. But I sort of feel just like I did when I was like 17? Can people tell just by looking at me that I'm a mom? Have I already reached that stage of life? I mean it's WONDERFUL. And when I'm with my kids I'm bursting with pride. So I should want people to get my mommy-vibe even when I'm without them, right? Without that, I'm not so sure where I fit, but if they can see it without the kids there... well what does that say??? "That tummy... those blood shot eyes.... that mystery smear on her shoulder she doesn't know is there? Definitely a mommy."

So I'm not sure what I want. And I know I'm all over the place. But thanks for the therapy session.

23 comments:

Kimberly said...

Lillie, you have no tummy!

Lizzie said...

Unbelievable Lillie. I am still in awe of that jerk at the gym.

Brandon or Michelle said...

All I know is, I live my life thinking "If only I could be a little less MOMMY and a little more LILLIE!" so a) you should get a self esteem boost and b) you should know that there are souls out there (like me) who have it even worse :) and c) you should know that old men at fitness clubs are lame-pantses. that's all. :)

glad you're back to blogging, I've been missing your happiness.

Anonymous said...

Share the same b-day said...
Why is it that the people that work at gyms always want to make us feel like we are less of a person. Like they are SO much better than us. Luckily, where I live, we have a woman's only gym called Curves, where all shapes and sizes work and workout, and most of us share common ground: Motherhood. Good luck. Oh, and I always ask for the manager and usually get what I want.

The Yardley's said...

just reading your story pisses me off to no end. i would raise all sorts of hell if i were you. good for you for being nice. and you are SO not mom-ish looking. thats a huge compliment! i totally feel the same way.

Allison P. said...

I've been reading your blog for a while now and I think we should be friends. You always say exactly what I'm thinking! I don't have a blog (my husband is a little nutso when it comes to privacy), so unfortuatley, this friendship is going to have to continue to be me just prentending that we're friends.

Jeanette said...

O.K. Lillie, 50 year old guys at gyms can be really really great...almost like a dad figure even:) (even 60 year old guys at gyms...;) And please tell me you didn't buy the pass from that guy! Right? You are going to buy it at Costco!? Pressure sales erk me SO much! But I'm a hard sale! Sorry it was traumatic, and you really don't look like you and gym need to be in the same sentence!

Rachelle said...

Girl, it is NOT You! It is obviously him! YOU are adorable, with or without your girls. HE is a pathetic loser who knows one way or another he isn't getting a commission from you. Had you signed on the dotted line, I'm sure he would have thought you were absolutely fabulous - with or without make-up. (Which you are, by the way)

Audry said...

No, that person was very dumb. They should not treat anyone like that. I would have asked to speak to a manager.

Sarie said...

Dude, I wish you were my neighbor and we could dish all the time because this sounded like something that I would write, almost exactly.

a. he is an idiot AND anyone with a mustache, well, ya know...

b. I've lost it too. That thing. I'm never getting it back.

Lindsay Griffeth said...

What a JERK!

I feel the same way when I'm out and about alone after a long day. Can't everyone tell that I usually look the way I do because I've been in the dirt all day with a little boy who smeared his dinner all over my shirt about an hour ago? Guess not!

Becky said...

i've always hated gym salesman and i always will. they carry with them a cocky, arrogant, annoying, desperate, LOSER vibe around with them. my apologies to anyone who is friends or married to a gym salesman. i so feel your pain about how pushy and rude they are though. i am proud of you for standing up for yourself. if you hadn't, that's when i would have been asking where has your identity gone. more power to you. now i think you should join that gym, file a complaint and give him a really fake smile everytime you see him. that would work, or you could join with another guy's help just to tick him off. i am mean. i better stop. your story just made me so mad.

Missy said...

I'm so with you! Do we look like Moms when we're not with our kids?

I don't think so. At least I don't feel like I do. But, then I look back at our engagement pictures and think "Gosh I look SO young."

But, Lillie. I think you don't get those stares anymore because the guys are pretty sure that you're already taken. That or they are just intimidated by you (you're that pretty Lil).

And the gym guy. Just roll your eyes and justify that he is 50 years old and trying to sell 24 Hour gym passes. He's got to be mad at the world. Don't take it personal.

The rlmmmmcaress family said...

In this era of insecurity about employment, I am flabbergasted to find out some people are rude to customers. He was wrong and it had nothing to do with your appearance or demeanor. But the manager should know that he cost the gym a membership. I like to use this comment with managers: "I'm not sure if it was his first day or his last day." But call and let him or her know. You will feel better and hopefully he will not torment any other people.

Rebecca Smylie said...

Lillie, whatever. You totally have an identity. And I hope you let jerks have time and time again (as part of your identity...)

Megan said...

I agree with everyone's comments about this ediot sales guy. He definately was just trying to make you feel guilty for not buying a membership from him. Another reason you should stay at Golds.

Do you not like it there anymore? Is it cuz I am not there with you. SMILE
Have you done there Body Combat class??

PS You are so adorable. Actually I would call you HOT!! So don't be sad. You are a rockin Mom!

Lowdogg said...

I happen to know a pretty cool gym guy, Randy Frisch, also known as Lillie's dad. That particular guy was a jerk, but ease up on the salesguys fellow commenters. I might be annoyed too if I was him, though I would cover it up with excellent customer service.

And by the way Lillie, I've been meaning to talk to you about that smear on your shoulder. Gross.

Ambyr said...

Lillie, I feel your pain. I've had experiences just like this and wonder if the world has lost it or if it's just me. Kind-of crazy-making... First of all, I am all for complaining to whomever is responsible for this guy. Second, if I were you I would call the next time you plan to go with your kids and make sure that guy isn't working. Then plead ignorance if anyone mentions the expiration date. Use the "I really need to see if the kids like it" excuse to your full advantage with a promise of joining (if, in fact, you are planning on it.) ALL of their salespeople cannot possibly be douche bags. Good luck!

Katie said...

I hate the guys that work at the gym! I'm so sorry he was such a jerk to you...
He's probably still living with his mom and having an affair with the teenager who works behind the counter selling vitamins.
Yes, you are a cute, hip mom- with no tummy.
:) love your photos... you've become such the professional!

S.A.S. said...

Of course you've heard about 19 times now that you're pretty. For the record, I still get a 'missed that boat' from my guy friends who see your picture, only to learn that you're married with kids. I think your automatic increase of love that came with your baby girls shines in your face.

As for gym man, report him to his manager and have him transferred to the East coast. His customer service will fit right in.

S.A.S. said...

and, for the record, there might not be anyone less in need of make-up than you.

Erin Marriott said...

Oh my gosh I was cracking up like the WHOLE time I was reading this!! This is so me! The other day I was in Target (Dan was home with the girls) so I was by myself which, felt so good to just walk through the store and not feel rushed or preoccupied...anyway I get to the checkout and realized I forgot my debit card which was in Dan's car in the cup holder because we had just drove through for lunch. Anyway long story short, I feel like when I'm with my kids I have some sort of excuse to be this unnorganized and scatterbrained and then when it's just me all by myself it's almost worse! You crack me up and I LOVED reading this, I love all your stories and miss finding time to read your blog :( That dumb jerk at the gym, I would have been so mad.

Erin Marriott said...

p.s. Happy Birthday, Ross. I LOVED the 100 things, Lillie, you guys are too cute.