Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Boo hoo.

I need drugs. Serious drugs. More so than I've ever felt, after my c-sections or anything. I've pinched a nerve or pulled a muscle or I've got a muscle spasm or a handful of knives lodged in my neck and shoulder waiting to STAB my nervous system with the slightest movement.

One of the above at least. I don't know what to do, so I'm blogging. I can't get comfortable, DEFINITELY can't get comfortable lying down, but can't hustle around the house cleaning and getting ready, I'm too slow- and it's too painful. So I'm sitting at the computer where I can try and distract myself from the pain. Am I complaining enough? Because I need to get it out of my system or I might drive Ross mad, because it's all I can think about. It's depressing really, because I can't even look forward to when he gets home or when the girls go to bed as reprieve because I CAN'T get comfortable. Any way I rest my head just feels WORSE when I later need to lift my head so I can't bare the thought. Sleep is horrible, wake is horrible... What do I do?!!!!

It started a couple of mornings ago. Well maybe it started 27 years ago when I was born with a slightly crooked spine. I know. The whole world has scoliosis... or maybe not at all, according to that Dr. Crazy I saw, all this "sitting around all day" we do with our kids just makes us FEEL like we do. (Remember him?) But whatever is wrong with my back it's to stay. There's always something up with it. But this is the most severe by far. Hopefully it will be short lived, but boy is it inconvenient. This is when the "no sick days" clause of my job really sucks. I've got two slave-drivers for employers.

The weekend at my mom's was SO fun, until I woke up two mornings ago with this. Then yesterday morning it was exponentially worse, but she loaded the car for me and kissed me goodbye and I got on the road with a permanent grimace on my face, hoping I wouldn't really need any range of motion in my neck to drive. Blind spots, blind shmots. I made an appointment for the chiropractor from the car, pulled into town, traded kids with Ross, gave him the sorry-est, lamest kiss (the tiniest bit of pressure on my head sends a tsunami of pain through my neck )after not seeing him for like 6 days!... and went and got a massage. (My chiropractor offers 50 min massages for just your copay-- amazing right? ) It felt great. Awful but GREAT. Until I had to move again and then it was back, maybe even worse. Are you done with this debbie -downer story... wait it gets worse.

So after an awful night, we get in bed, Ross tries to help lower me in and lift my head and get it situated on a rolled up towel for neck support but it's all awful and depressing and so painful and THEN Mila starts screaming. We wait and wait but she won't stop so Ross finally goes in and she's THROWN up all over everything and ALL over herself. Oh goodness. Not tonight. Well THAT is a two person job. So Ross helps me in the bathtub so I can comfort her while I clean her up, and he's off to clean-up duty.

And when the tub's nice and full and she's nice and clean and I'm all horrible and pinched... she starts throwing up again --- in the bath we're sitting in! So now we have to freeze while we wait for it to drain and repeat.... you get it. Can you tell I've got too much time right now to tell this story since I can't do anything else? Thanks for distracting me.

So, you know, feel all sorts of sorry for me will ya? Maybe the comments will distract me from the pain.

I'm kidding, not actually asking for comments.

Maybe like a package of my favorite goodies.

Or some vicodin?
;)

19 comments:

Lowdogg said...

Bummer.

I'll read this story to the starving children in the Sudan. It will help them feel better about their situation.

Just kidding. Hope you feel better soon. That is no fun.

Lillie said...

Thanks Jerk. I mean Joe.

McKayla said...

I know your pain. I wouldn't even admit mine until after I was better ...kudos for fessing up. Too bad I am not your RS president and could organize all sorts of help. But I can offer a daughter to come over and be a helper of sorts. It won't take away your pain, but it may ease your mind. Three until Ross gets home?

The rlmmmmcaress family said...

That was from me. Apparently someone is invading my computer too much.

Jeanette said...

Dear Lillie! I'm so sorry about your neck! (And the throw up! My kids seem to do that (all at the same time) when I have a horrible head ache!) Is there a physical therapist who could help you? Good luck! That has to be awful!

maines said...

That is HORRIBLE! Seriously, horrible. I am really feeling so bad for you and especially your night. So, I'm pretty sure my mom used to have a side job as a drug dealer because she always has all sorts of wonderful little pills to make you feel better. Cort always goes straight to her medicine cabinet when he throws his back out. If you want something text me or give me a call and I can bring you a muscle relaxant or something. I'm dead serious. This is not a standing invitation to anyone else who reads this blog though. Why do I feel so dirty right now?

kkmom said...

The saying is true..." When it rains, it pours"... I don't think anyone truely understands this until they have kids... esp. us moms. I hoe you get better soon!Go to the Dr.s and get some Meds (that's what there for ;) hehe)
Maybe this will get me going on my blog... updating it more, now that I will have an audience, hehe.
Get well Lillie!

S.A.S. said...

Dearest Lil, Once upon a time you lived in Hawaii, where it was warm and breezy and smelled like plumeria. Another time you got married, and Ross sang to you - Your Song (it was very sweet). You were absolutely beautiful. And, what is Sophia's favorite color?

Lest none of the above offer distraction, I'm so sorry about your pain! Ugh. Mine was not a shooting nerve-like pain, but I saw a physical therapist (also just a co-pay when referred by your dr.) for 6 weeks who worked WONDERS on my upper shoulders/neck (where I apparently hold every ounce of my tension). Maybe a muscle relaxer would help? I wish I could be there to take the girls to swim....

Brandon or Michelle said...

holy crap I'm feeling like a pathetic, needy friend right now. I'M SO SORRY THIS HAPPENED TO YOU, right after you were such a dream lady for me. THIS IS REAL PAIN! and throw up? oooohhhh...groan and bigger groan.

probably I shouldn't mention that at least you have a bathtub, right? that was just for a giggle, rest of the world, please don't think I'm mean like joe. :)

you're right. you need drugs. and I'd like to say a massage that actually works and is DONE and that you don't have to keep coming back to...I don't quite understand them.

sigh. do you have frozen goodies you can munch on? that's got to make a girl feel better.

Stacy W. said...

Hey lillie, this is brooke's friend stacy. I just wanted to tell you that I have this exact problem all the time! I have tons of lower back problems!! and the last 2 years have had the neck problems. I can tell you with complete seriousness that I DID try an acupuncture treatment for it once and it really helped! I didn't believe it would, but I think because the neck kinks have a lot to do with muscle spasms and tightening, the acupuncture helps release that muscle spam and can get you back to normalcy sooner than no acupuncture. I don't really believe in that stuff for "depression" or "weight-loss" which it often claims to cure, but it really helped when I had a especially bad 7 day long bout of kinked neck. I also suggest lots of advil and tons of cold packs! so sorry! good luck!

Mrs. Organic said...

I have this same thinig attack me periodically and the best thing is to go to a physical therapist for an eval and have them do the TENS and ultrasound on it. It will hurt but feel 100 times better after a few visits. Sleeping is the hardest, but maybe a muscle relaxant will help with that. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Watts Family said...

Oh, lillie. I felt your pain when I had spinal headaches following Shane's birth, they lasted about two weeks. After a week, the doctors said that there was nothing else that they could do, and to prepare for them to be chronic. That was a very depressing moment. I understand the helpless feeling that you have right now. Bring on the pain medicine!

Missy said...

Oh dear. Lil, can you get some muscle relaxant? Are you at least taking Advil (although it sounds like this is way worse than anything Advil could cure). These are the moments that you just wish/plead/beg for Ross to stay home from work.

moliver said...

Hey Lillie, It's Michelle (Duncan) Oliver. I just found your blog not too long ago and I had to comment on this one. I feel your pain, it's so hard to be a mom when you're suffering like that. Have you ever tried Percocet? I may have spelled that wrong. Anyway, I had extreme nerve pain after my second baby and it helped dull the pain a lot better than vicoden did. Good luck. I hope you get back to feeling better so you can take more beautiful pictures. You are so talented, by the way!

brooke said...

Please let me know what I can help with..I didn't know it was that bad from your complaints on the phone. I feel like I should have brought the whole cake over.

Becky said...

i would recommend dilotted (sp). it's a pain killer that works wonders. they gave that to me in the hospital this past summer and it was the only thing that would work. it totally knocks you out. i had serious withdraws from it though when i got out so be careful-it's pretty strong. i feel so bad for you. pain is the worst. i am such a wuss when it comes to pain. i'll pray you have some relief asap. hang in there.

madi said...

The nurse at my school says I have scoliosis, but I have to get it double checked... Hope you feel better Sis B!

Heidi McMillan said...

I'll give you a comment. I wish I were in San Diego to help take care of your kids and enjoy the warm weather. Hope you feel better soon.

Andrea said...

Lillie, I know EXACTLY how you feel (felt). I have back problems, and have since I was a teenager. I was told I have slight scoliosis that will probably only get worse. I get debilitating pains at least twice a year and have to BEG my doctor for steroid shots which only help half the time. It SUCKS. I'm so sorry to hear that you are hurting. If I was a miracle worker, I'd work one for you (and me).