Tuesday, August 30, 2011

THE FIRST DAY

I'm not gonna lie. It wasn't good for me.

She was a trooper, even though none of her new shoes fit and we had to make do and use some old sunday shoes while we quickly put in a new order at Zappos. Thank goodness for free-return shipping--- I've gone crazy there lately. We are NOT stocked up on closed-toe-shoes around these parts.

I'm glad to see her smiling in this picture, because I kind of want to cry every time I think about her being there right now. I know she can "handle" it. But I want it to be a lot better than that. I didn't get the teacher that I'd hoped for... and while I'm sure this teacher has all sorts of strengths, I worry they're not the right ones for Sophia. From my impression, and from what I've heard, she comes off much more business-like, less warm and fuzzy. I respect that personality in a lot of areas--- but with my sweet and sensitive little not-even-six-year-old---- I want as warm and fuzzy as I can get. I know her. And I KNOW that a tender, kind voice and warm expression go a LONG way with her. She's so obedient and so kind. She lives her life to avoid being scolded... so when she deals with someone that uses too firm a voice or attitude... it breaks her heart. And don't get me wrong--- sadly--- I use a firm voice (sounds much better than "I yell like a madwoman") often in our home... but rarely at her... she just doesn't require it that often. And she doesn't respond to it.

It's strange, because I don't think it's fair to judge someone off of a first impression and some hearsay--- but I guess when it comes to your child, you're not so concerned with what's fair. I just want to know that I've done everything I can to put her in the best possible situation for the year. I worry she's not in it right now.

I seriously feel like I haven't been able to sleep the last two nights... I'm so hopeful and anxious to try and make a switch... but trying to figure out the best way to go about it. And of course trying to feel out Sophia and figure out what will really be best for her.

I just feel like every step forward in parenting is TERRIFYING to me. A first-grader? Are you kidding me? I never feel prepared enough, or aware enough, or old enough. And I'm thinking I never will. I feel like that principal is going to look at me like I'm a silly teen-mom who wants her daughter to get the cool teacher. I know I'm flattering myself. I realize no-one else thinks I look like a teenager still. But inside I do... I'm sure of it.

Would it really be so bad if we just ran around playing strawberry shortcake and building forts all day? I think I miss summer already.

9 comments:

Rachelle said...

I know it's unsoliscited, but if you want some advice from a mom who's had to be the squeeky wheel, with William, many times...here goes. You need to do whatever you feel in your gut is the right thing for your children, even if it's super uncomfortable and goes against what other people think. I know you know that already, I just have lived it over and over and when it comes down to it...you're the only one who really knows (or senses) what she needs, so don't be shy or nervous...you just have to go for it! You can also tell me where to stick it if that makes you feel any better. Love you guys!:)

Sarie said...

I second Rachelle. Do what you have to do and let the everyone else whisper if they need to whisper about it. It's worth it. I'd love to hear how she does with this teacher if you keep her in. Maybe she's not as bad as you think?

I'll hope for the best. She is gorgeous! And the photo of you and Ross is so so beautiful, too! Lillie you do look so young. Cut it out, you're making me feel bad!

Lindsay Griffeth said...

Your cute Sophia sounds just like my niece, Abbie. Such pure, gentle souls who just want to do what's right. I love it.

I agree . . . every step in parenting is a hard one! But you're a rockstar mama and everything will work out.

Shauna said...

i have two cents to say about zappos...I AM OBSESSED.

you need to become a VIP member. Call their customer service line and ask to be made VIP so that you can get free overnight shipping and no tax. I buy everything from zappos. Shoes, makeup, swimsuits...everything.

You can also call their customer service line and ask if they have any coupon codes (they will tell you if they do! i ask for the 20% off one) and its such a deal cause its way cheaper than buying it in the store, you dont have to pay shipping or tax and the very next day its just delivered to you!

Just last week i ordered a pair of cowboy boots that i needed for a bridemaids outfit, and i accidently shipped them to my old address (totally my fault), and the cute customer service person was like "oh i will just credit your account and you can order another pair." Very next day i had another pair free of charge from them.

Laura said...

I know you don't know me, but I went to high school with Ross. I love your blog.
anyway, my son is the same age as Sophia and we had a similar situation last year in kindergarten. I didn't get the teacher I wanted and I heard negative things about the teacher he did get. I almost switched him out. The principal at our school is pretty good about that. We decided to give this teacher a chance and then decide. I am so glad we did. I LOVED his teacher. You may be surprised to find out that someone had a bad experience because of their attitude or the personalities of them or their children. I hope it works out for you. And, I am right there with you. I am 33 years old, and have a 4th grader, 1st grader and 2 year old twins. I am a grownup! But, I feel like I am just playing grownup most of the time:)

Missy said...

She sounds like my Avery too. I am doing ok with the thought of kindergarten. But 1st grade is terrifying to think about. ALL DAY.

I have no advice...Avery hasn't started yet and I am dying to know who her new teacher will be (in a new school nonetheless)

Of course she looks darling!

caley-jade rosenberg said...

I'm not a mom... yet! So I can't pass on any guidance or advice BUT you can be so proud - she looks too cute and so grown up and ready for big school. And she has a very special mom that is going to be by her side on this new journey...
x

Issa said...

Oh, Lillie I hope you can do what ever is best for her. It's so nice to read all these comments and realize that I am not the only one who feels like a teenager inside, while our exterior shells are beginning to deceive the world into thinking we are professional grown ups. But I agree follow your gut, you know your little girl best.

D-dawg said...

Hi Lillie-

Sophia sounds a lot like my oldest, Lexi. She is sweet, obedient, so eager to do good, and has a soft heart, hates to get in trouble etc. We had the same situation when she was entering 1st grade. Didn't get the teacher I wanted and the teacher she did get was not warm and fuzzy and, in my opinion, too strict, not fun etc. I was worried, but our school makes it pretty hard to switch- you have to wait 3 weeks and at that point who wants to move their child to a brand new classroom? Plus then you have to see the teacher you switched out of for the next 5 years and it could be awkward etc.

ANYWAY, Lexi ended up having a great experience. Because she was so good, obedient etc she quickly became her teachers favorite and was given extra responsibility in the class (answering the phone, taking messages to the office, helping other kids etc) which she loved. We've now had that teacher two more times (with Logan and Macey) and we love her! Surprising huh!

Anyway, I know the kindergarten teachers at our school put a lot of thought into where they place their kids for the next year so you could even talk to her K teacher and ask her why she was placed there? Maybe the K teacher knows something about that 1st grade teacher that she thought would be great for Sophia. Maybe she had a really good reason for placing her there. We've had that experience a few times as well.

On the other hand if you feel so strongly about it and things are not getting better I am definitely one to recommend fighting for your kid if you have to! Good luck!