I don't know when it happened.

Her turning like 16 and all. Doesn't she look old? I've had my breath stolen right out of my chest on many occasion lately when I look at her and see so little of my face, so little of Ross' face, and so MUCH beauty. This perfectly formed face of her own. I know she has resemblances to us because people tell me so. But all I see is Sophia. With one set of dimples in her cheeks and one under her eyes (my FAVorite- inherited from Ross) and spaces between her perfect teeth, and cheeks you want to bury your whole face into, and eyes as big and blue as the pacific.

She can clean up the entire toy-room (a room I used to leave tornadoed (sure it's a verb) for weeks on end), color and read and paint and build and do all sorts of wonderful quiet-time activities during Mila's nap. She can get her own food and water and she cleans every spec of her face that could have been touched by food so I don't have to. She tells me that I'm pretty and tells me when she loves my dress and loves my hair and loves my necklace. She loves to give me kisses and rub my arms and she tells me that she loves ME and that I'm her best friend, like 20 times a day.

Did anyone warn me that nearly 4 is like the greatest age in the whole wide world? I wish we could all be nearly 4. The whole world would be a better place-- Obama wouldn't have felt like he had to go in and fix everything in like a month and in so doing, ruin everything.

But we might find soggy pull-ups in hidden trash cans, in countries far and wide.

(Our sippy-of-ice-water habit at night has not helped us in the night-time potty-train game. So no... she's not perfect. Under-eye-dimples and all.)

P.S. A couple new posts on my photo-blog HERE.

On "The Bachelorette"

-Did they seriously show a volcano erupt after her successful time with Ed? wow.

-Do they have to do the plank and proposal thing in the middle of the day when the hot sun is making her all sweaty and shiny? I totally feel for her.

-So I LOVED Ed in the beginning. When he seemed like this really normal guy. Kind of mellow, more grown up than some others. Normal. But something happened. Not so normal. Once he started making all of his speeches (like to go home to work) where he got a little nerdier and over dramatic. Red flag.

-Then he wore the green shorts that while cute, and probably very fashionable, were just a little too much of a statement for me. Like an "I love my long legs in a weird womanly way" statement. And then he wore them again last night? When on TV, you're supposed to have AT LEAST two swimsuits. I'm sure that was in the Bachelorette handbook somewhere. Which means he's not a rule-follower. Red flag.

-Bedroom scene: Creepy. Confusing. Red flag.

-And then it seems he's an only child,(I'm not judging, just sayin')--- an only child of a dad with a really creepy mustache. Serious red flag. Were they actors? So weird. I just don't really buy him. Like some thing's not right.

-His big aloha shirt two weeks ago in Hawaii? Red flag.

-Didn't really think Kiptyn was that into her, but seriously, San Diego or Chicago? Who cares about "connection". ;)

-Reid. Oh Reid. I fell in love with him and his cute crooked mouth a few weeks ago and he became my front-runner. Too bad he was never hers'.

-And too bad Jill forgot that the fact that he did NOT recite all the right lines from Bachelorette precedent was maybe... a good thing? Like he was for real?

-Although, he WAS surprisingly over-confident on his big return. He hadn't really thought that one through huh? But he clearly thought they had it. (you know.... the connection.)

-The producers really worked hard to mix this one up. Clearly it's less reality than ever--- but they still had me at Kiptyn's first hello and scary-David's weird Lenny-like lull.

Who'd have thought?

I don't usually take well to sexy teen dramas. Something (clearly!) is very wrong with the concept. So maybe I shouldn't confess this--- but honestly, is it possible that one little show on DVD can make a girl so happy?

It's sad I know, but I've discovered that my happiness is directly related to the shows we're watching. I know this because when summer-tv hits, I get a bit of the summer-crap-tv blues. If my day's dragging, AND we're trying to eat healthy, AND there's nothing good on at night, WHAT am I supposed to look forward to? So the little things just bum me out a little more and days seem endless. Especially when we can't step foot outside without shriveling like the wicked witch.

I know there's an anonymous out there somewhere that wants to remind me that moose-tracks and hollywood-derived teen-romances are NOT the true sources of happiness. And I'm well aware of that (in fact, does anyone know how I get one of those cool buttons that says "I believe" and links to the church's website?), but I'm not kidding when I tell you that I've been so HAPPY lately... with this show to look forward to! I'd seen previews before and it did NOT appeal. But since it came from a good source, and we were desperate, we decided to give it a shot. It took me a few episodes to really get in, but now it just might be one of my favorite shows. Maybe even EVER. The acting, the characters, the southern-drawls.... I hear the music when Ross puts the DVD in and I'm a clam. A happy happy clam curled up in the couch with my computer on my lap. Kind of makes me want to move to a small town and grow my hair super long.

A long time coming...

Where does the time go?

-photo-editing
-cleaning up food because my kids eat ALL DAY LONG.

I guess if I were actually answering that question, those might be my top two right now. Sad I know. My life sounds pretty boring. I just haven't been able to catch up on photos since Gina's wedding. There were a ton from that of course. Then I came back and shot a family reunion the next day here in the desert. 35 people total (yikes-- I know)... so that was a ton of photos, and then of course I took probably like.... a ton at the beach house with Brooke and Tyson that I haven't had a chance to blog yet. SO, since my afternoon was kept free for me to write a talk for church tomorrow, and Ross took Sophia to a movie for a little daddy/daughter date during Mila's nap, and then on his way got the most fabulous text from the bishop of our ward (from church) saying that we don't need to speak anymore.... turns out, I'm FREE! So here goes.

Day One at the beach--- arrived late afternoon- soaked up the sun while the kids dug in the sand right outside the house. Ate too much Stuft Pizza for dinner, then topped it off with the best s'mores of my life (I think it was the first time I used a fancy marshmallow roaster-skewer-thing instead of a wire hanger... and Brooke introduced me to the the double-marshmallow s'more. Oh where have I been?) ...and wallowed in my miserably-bloated happiness. Day 2- ummm.... a lot more beach. More relaxing. More yummy food. Definitely more s'mores. I think we were running low on s'more supplies that night, so Brooke rationed the goods, which made me eat more since I knew I had "3 more" with my name on them... yikes. And yum.

See the shot of the house, it's the cutest little thing, right on the sand. TONS of parking. Sigh... some day.... our own... in my dreams...

She thought it was fun to lay face down in the dirt and rub her head in it. hmm.To the Irvine Spectrum for shopping, Wahoos, and a little train-ride for the kids. Have I told you lately, that I love a fish taco? Day Three- decided to take a break from the rocks on our beach and packed up and went to a new beach, Three Arch, in Laguna? Newport? Not sure... but wow--- it was beautiful, and so worth the pack-up and the butt-kicking workout to hike the stairs out of there upon departure.

I know, that's only two of the arches. I didn't have my wide angle.... or maybe I just forgot...

Ross and Tyson played super-dads and took the kids in the water, exploring around the rocks and arches, and built a sand-mountain (sorry Ross, I just don't think we can call it a castle)... while Brooke and I lounged and took pictures. Thanks Ross.

Yeah- she got pooped and melted down like a Popsicle in Indio. Luckily all it took was a walk to the arches on Ross' shoulder and she crashed for a little sun-bathing nap. (Don't worry, she was lathered in sunscreen. I'm married to the sun-screen patrol. He remembers for the both of us.)

Brooke's friend, Katie, met us there for a little while with her two kids. Her little girl, Reese is a darling little HAM, so I couldn't keep my camera off of her.After food, rest, and clean up.... we took the kids to the park to avoid the sand before bed-time.
This was like the prettiest park I've ever been to. It was up on a cliff overlooking the ocean, but totally fenced in and bowl-like so it felt super safe. Tons of trees for shade... sigh....

again... some day. Some day I'll live in a neighborhood with trees that give shade. Even if it just means I'm in this house for 40 years (which is how long it'll take for these desert trees in my neighborhood to actually give shade.)

I love my house. I love the desert (sort of). But it's summer. And miserable. And I love the beach. So let me complain without thinking me a complainer please.

hhhhhaaaaaa (that's my written sigh.. the word just isn't doing it for me), I think that about covers it. Though I can't promise more photos won't trickle in. We did sort of squeeze in a fifteen minute family-shoot between our two families... I wasn't planning on having Brooke turn the camera on us so my hair was in a pony, but oh well. I'll save that for another day... or... maybe just a couple more...

drum roll....

SIGH (like the biggest deepest sigh you've ever heard.) I finished the wedding photos. Go check some out on my photo blog. Ummm.... there might be like 30 more than SHOULD be on a photo blog... but once I started I couldn't restrain and once I went through the work of posting, I couldn't delete. Even though the bright sunshine of the ceremony and the dim-lit indoor reception were clearly both SOOO challenging for me. So there you have it. You won't miss a beat of the whole night. (Except maybe the part where I was like 10 minutes late to the ceremony after getting lost between her house and the park I've been to like 3 times and missed Gina walking down the walkway. Uh huh.) Did I mention yet that this was one of the most stressful days of my life. I can't decide how much is appropriate to write over here. I don't want her to lose faith in me! But I can never help but spill all my beans. Maybe you don't check this blog Gina?? Let's hope. Because I'm pretty sure at some point I'll have time for a full recap... oh me oh my. I'm not sure weddings are for me.

But really, what an honor (ok and pressure-filled nightmare ;)) to be the one capturing such PRECIOUS memories for these two families. Luckily, they could not have been more patient and easy-going. Thanks Gina!

Oh and I'm adding this on late... here's my flickr link for more.

At the beach--

I know I've already said it, but I've got so much to blog and just can't find the time right now for catch up. So here's just one where we got the camera turned around on us at the beach with the Homecs. Don't we look happy? Waking up at the beach, eating s'mores by the fire, away from the 118 degree desert days... we were.

Ok and maybe just a couple from the wedding

I have five minutes

So I'll start with my haircut-- Ross already made fun of me for my crazy eyes, so don't bother. But it's the only one I took straight on and it's pretty much been in a pony ever since, so I'm posting it anyway. And I obviously took them of myself which is so embarrassing, but again, had to document the hair. So whatever. Crazy eyes, self-absorbed, weird scary neck-lines. Give it to me.

Oh and the bangs I've decided aren't really bangs. Too easy, I can still tuck them behind my ear, so of course that's what I end up doing. So maybe I'll cut more next time, we'll see.

To much to blog about but this will be all for now. I'm at my friend Brooke's "home" in Orange County. We did her family beach house through yesterday, (I know I know, we're SO lucky to have friends with beach-houses to share.... ) Ross left last night, before that was a big 35-person family shoot on Saturday. And before that of course was Gina's wedding. I feel like I'll never ever be able to catch up on editing photos. And the wedding... WOOOH... that was hard. That is certainly a post of it's own.

One that will have to wait. Goodnight!

My First Real Wedding!

So I got to do a little shoot of this courthouse wedding a couple of months ago (hence the photo above), and that was fun. But today I head to San Diego all by myself to do my first REAL wedding.... like with a cake, and a ceremony, and dancing, and flowers, and a reception, and a harpist...the whole bit!

I'm scared out of my mind. But very excited. It's an old friend from highschool I haven't seen in ten years who found me through facebook (with a little help from my brother- thanks Ian!)... She's beautiful and I'm sure the whole day will be as such, so I just HOPE HOPE HOPE I can do it justice!

Wish me luck.

A Friend in Need

My friend Lizzie has four beautiful sisters she's super close with. Amy is 24 and the one we probably think is the most like Lizzie. She's beautiful, and creative, and confident and silly and really fun to read. She's just been diagnosed with stage 3 lymphoma Hodgkins Disease... which is cancer, of the blood I think? I'm not sure I put any of those words together right but her story so far is HERE. I can't get her out of my head right now. I guess I figure any extra prayers could help.

I thought I was growing it back out.

Until I couldn't stand it for one more second of one more day. It's just reached this awful grow-out length that isn't short enough to bounce, but isn't long enough to really HANG so it just sort of poofs.

And the pony isn't short enough to do that cute little spout, but it's not long enough to venture toward an s-curve, it just kind of... poofs. It's the worst pony ever. I need my pony. So these are my finalists for photos I'm taking to my girl tomorrow.
Oh yeah, I'm thinking maybe bangs? I've done them twice and hated them twice (ok more if you count the split-and-spray bangs I had in the fifth grade... I got too lazy to curl the bottom half, so I'd just spray the top half in a wave to the side and let the bottom half hang straight down... I was a trend-setter I tell you.) But regardless..... it seems I want to do them again. I really like the bangs on my hair girl, so I'm hoping that means she could make me look good in bangs too. ?? We'll see. Obviously Gwenyth looks amazing without the bang, but she can do that killer middle part. I used to think I was a middle-parter, but somewhere between age 24 and now it lost it's hip and went total hippie on me. So I'm thinking maybe the bang will give me something fun to work with when my hair is just in a little pony etc....

what say you?

I think these ones are my favorite of the collage above.

Can you tell I like wavy? Another thing that's happened between about 24 and now is my afro. Once upon a time I had silky smooth hair. Well that is no longer. So I've discovered a tousled wave is easier than a full flat-ironed look. So I'm just going to pretend that my um.... very TRUE tousled hair (like the kind Sophia has after she's rubbed it all over her car-seat) can look like these girls with their perfectly styled-to be-tousled hair. Wish me luck.

Beyond the Ribs...

Swimming, boccie ball, bean bag toss (an actual backyard game I TOTALLY want to buy now)

Nana barbecuing and being nana....

FOOD.
Sparklers, a craft I snuck in there that I did with my Activity Day Girls from church before we left for San Diego... but they're festive right?, one very pregnant Terasita (we thought she'd have this baby days ago... but we were just happy she was still plugging along, walking the miles at the zoo with us and spending a day in the sun and pool and even trekking from our far away parking spot to fireworks later that night. That woman makes me look SO bad in pregnancy. It's like being pregnant for essentially 3 years straight has made her kind of good at it. :) She doesn't opt out of anything.
And of course, the fireworks. A bit of an effort for like 10 minutes of a show... but still fun. Check out Sophia's sun burnt little face. I felt awful. Her eyes were so red and puffy. She must have been in that pool for like 5 hours. She ate four hot dogs (without buns) in one sitting in the middle of it all. So I guess she was working pretty hard. Oh especially because she suddenly TOTALLY knows how to swim! I wish I'd gotten her in lessons last summer so she'd have been taught the proper way to swim, because she mostly doggy paddles (like me) but she is officially without floaties and cannon balling with the rest of us trying to knock Nana off the boat. She doesn't even hustle to the side... just hangs and treads and swims the long way back. It's made swimming this summer SO fun.

Fourth of July '09. Ross used the word "perfect" on several occasions. The only thing missing was more family, since it was just the folks, Ian's fam, and mine... but I think an entire day spent outside with water and toys and ribs will always make my husband a happy, happy man.

Hope your food was as good as mine.

Oh and one more thing... my most recent shoot.

Check out more of this darling girl over on my photo blog. If anyone peeks at my website, then you know that I change my logo like every other day. It's a problem, really. I know that the point of a logo is to create a little brand identity... an identity that probably can't be formed if it's ever-changing. But I've realized that I have serious problems with commitment (not like, of the marital sort, more of the accent-color-in-my-living-room sort, and as it turns out, photography-logo-sort). I keep telling myself, "the simpler the better". But then I find a new font. Uh huh. And I love polka dots, so I can't seem to get away from sneaking one in. Is it possible that my identity can be Lillie-who's-always-changing-her-logo. I'll be like "the artist formerly known as prince". No real logo, but that in itself IS the logo. Are you following?

Check back in a week. I promise not to disappoint.

Sincerely,

Lillie. the-ever-changing-logo photographer

(It has a nice ring I think...??)