(depressed)
sort of a bad word in my home growing up... my mom is the happiest women I know, regardless of circumstance. I know I'm healthy and my chemicals are fine, so I know in MY life, it's up to me. So when I feel it.... it's short lived. But I felt it. A few things we talked about?
-(let's start with the most frivolous): how I'd read on a friend's blog about her photographer teacher making mention of all the photographers out there with blogs, copying each other. And how every thing's starting to look the same. I felt like I did when I read Seriously So Blessed. I know that teacher doesn't know me or anything about me. And that a secure person wouldn't be phased. And for the most part I think I'm pretty secure. But I felt a teenie bit insulted. I hate thinking I fit into this big, unrespected stereotype, but it's sort of the truth. I totally copy. I definitely get ideas off of other blogs and websites that I want to try. The world is so small with the Internet now, we are all so incredibly connected. It's wonderful that we can all help and inspire each other. It's also frustrating that sometimes it feels like every thing's already been done... since we can indeed, see everything. Of course we all want to be wonderfully and uniquely creative. We're trying. I don't know. It just sort of discouraged me.
- And speaking of photography, sometimes I'm scared I'm skipping some of the normal, sweet memories because it's too late for good light or there's a runny nose that's going too ruin the photo. I need to remember that I want this photography thing to help me keep more beautiful memories, but plenty of messy ones too.
- How Dateline did a horrific special on human trafficking. Like on "Taken." I didn't see it, but a guy Ross works with did, and he heard all sorts of horrible real stories. Girls in THIS country--- kidnapped, drugged, and sold. I feel nauseous again just typing it. I'm sorry if you're like me and would sort of prefer to not hear about it. But I heard enough where now I can't get it out of my head. I just don't know how people of my same species can be such MONSTERS. ??? This world has some scary stuff. So I've been making all sorts of mental plans for our future now that include never letting my girls out of sight 'till they're like 40. It's gonna be tough. Wish me luck. (Let me know when that emergency family-campground thing gets worked out, dad. I'm in. ;) )
- How our country is heading dangerously toward socialism. I get both sides. And I know this is probably too touchy for my very UNpolitical blog. But the fact that the economy has gotten this bad and it's all come to this... well no matter how you look at it, it's a little depressing.
So over my fish taco and yogurt... I just felt so much weight on my chest. Like literally a weight. Thank goodness for a "72 and sunny" husband, and two fresh-faced, innocent, perfect little girls to lighten it :) Don't worry, I haven't forgotten that the the world is full of good and happy things, how could I with the best of them right under my nose? But sometimes I think we must be pretty close to those last days too. Here's a few very light, happy, 'normal' photos of our life over the past few days. :)
Enjoying the sunroof in daddy's new (albeit injured) car on an INCREDIBLY windy day. (We get this crazy windy season in the Spring where we just pray our trees aren't uprooted and our trampoline doesn't end up on the neighbor's roof.
When I came home from taking pictures of the M family on Saturday, the house was empty. A few minutes later these two characters strolled in, definitely with the I've-been-in-daddy's-care look. Both in matching converse, (Mila's two sizes too big), Sophia wearing pajama shorts under her dress, Mila wearing half of a vanilla shake, and both of them sporting, very nonchalantly, their glorious burger king crowns. It really was a sight to see. So cute, in fact, that I didn't even care that Mila left a trail of sticky like a little snail or that they ate french fries and milk shakes for dinner. And one of those moments that battles nights like last night where you feel the bummers. So here's to the blog that let's you live the good moments twice.
And here of course are my luscious-cheeked girls enjoying rubios and yogurt last night.
And here of course are my luscious-cheeked girls enjoying rubios and yogurt last night.
Boy do I have a lot to be grateful for. See this is why I blog this stuff out... thanks for listening.
15 comments:
Lillie! I feel so bad that I discouraged you (well my teacher did, but I passed it on). I totally know how you feel and I copy ALL of the time so it made me feel the same, at first. But then I just took it as a challenge to try to do my own thing. I don't even know if I'll be able to, but as long as we have that in mind then it doesn't matter if we copy and try to recreate the beautiful things we see- right? Copying helps us learn so it's ok, and don't feel bad. There are a million other moms out there doing the same thing- but do they live in your town or my town? NO- so we're new for our place!! Your photos are so beautiful. I would love it if you did more sharing posts.... so I can copy (o:
Your photos are awesome, who cares what that guy said! I love the pics of the girls after dinner with their daddy! I looked at Seriously, So Blessed blog and I have seen it before. Is it a joke? I mean I just read what she wanted to name her babies and she claimed someone else used the names, there is NO way someone named their children that!
I think we've all been feeling discouraged lately about the economy. I love how we both want to avoid saying 'depressed'. I love how you were able to look for the good around you! I think I need a fish taco and yogurt really soon. Your pictures make it look so good!
I second everything you've said on this post! About the photography, keep shooting away because it doesn't matter if you have the same idea as someone else, your talent is your own and your individuality comes out in your work. Also, not one photographer can take pictures of everyone. We need talented photographers everywhere!
And with everything going on in the world, I just want to hide my family and myself in a bubble sometimes but the internet and the news is always there to remind us of everything bad in the world. And while we are in this world we've got to take the ugly stuff along with the beauty. But we can push out the ugly stuff and focus more on the beauty. That's what keeps us sane and happy!
I have those moments too, where I wonder how the economy can be soooo bad when I think I've got it pretty good. And the photography - that is what inspires us to do what we do no matter what profession we choose. Plus, anyone can be anything. Keep up the great work and great posts.
I share your same worries and I did see "Taken". Scared the bajeebees out of me.
Anyway, I have FOUR daughters and every day I think "how can I protect these precious girls?"
I hear ya. Just do what your doing. You're great. By the way we are totally going to have to hook up in July. I'd love for you to take some pics of Luke.
Christin
I am sorry, but I still see what you do with photography as TOTAL talent, "copying" or not. I couldn't do it. I would happily pay you to do it for me, BECAUSE of your talent. (or maybe make you sewn goods, because I can't afford to pay you?) i think this internet world IS weird, because we're exposed to the whole world, so we think we know all these people, but we DON'T know them, and we probably WON'T ever know them, so who cares if our pictures look occasionally similar, you know? keep on keeping on, my dear. I see it as ALL you, and it's beautiful.
As for the trafficking issue, this is why we should all own firearms. That way we can do whatever it takes, even if it means tearing down the Eiffel Tower. We should also become experts in hand-to-hand and Jack Bauer interrogation. Simple as that.
I thought this post title referred to something stinky, like maybe you discovered Sophia's secret stash of melted ice cream containers or something.
You forgot the part of not editing your pictures...
anonymous: You read Denae's blog too? I know that bummed me out too. I've sort of come to terms with the fact that a year down the road, I'll think I did too much processing of my photos-- it's a journey right?
Oh and Denae-- of course YOU shouldn't feel bad! a: for passing on good advice from your successful photographer- teacher. and b: that I'm hypersensitive about some things. :)
Beautiful Lil, I thought my thoughts were so original, about how if I wanted a certain photography 'look' but only the originator could create it and wasn't available, I would be out of luck.. unless there was a YOU who had your own ideas, which melded with the selections of parts of other people's ideas that you want to integrate.. and then I could try coercing YOU to take the photos....
But it looks like others thought the same thing. I am SO glad you're finding all of these new, interesting things to integrate into your skill, because it will make you better, your clients happy, and your family memories really lovely.
Of COURSE we all glean what we like that others do to improve what we do. I do it in my work, in my schoolwork, in my calling, as a wife, and I'll do it when I'm a mother.
p.s. I love what Sophia put in her yogurt - a girl after my heart to pick a little of everything sweet.
I'm so with you on all you said. I look at Lincoln & think I'll never let him move out! :) But on to lighter things...I do have love the photots of family night and how fun it is to have two great places right next door to each other so that we can have such great nights. We've done that route quite a few times. Maybe we'll see you there one of these nights.
Lillie, thanks for saying hi! I saw your cute girls with Ross last night at church. They are so so flawless and beautiful! Wow.
You were asking a few post down about an easy way to get pictures big. I do mine through uploading the pictures right in blogger and then editing the html...no photo hosting. I think its really easy...anyway, let me know and I can email you how.
Ha--"blog it out" I love it Lillie. Virginia Wolf said she wrote to figure out what she thought (or how she felt or something). At any rate, I like it because when you do it, you end up happy. Which means, underneath it all, you're happy. That's why we love you and keep on coming back. Also, is it just me or did Mila's face TOTALLY change?
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