Tuesday, October 09, 2007

It's a long one...

It's 7 and we've been up for an hour. That doesn't make me happy. She's getting up earlier and earlier and the last few mornings have been 6 on the nose... and ...no, she is not sleeping in her big girl bed... that's a whole other story but after two good nights and two, bad, I decided maybe I didn't care if she stayed in a crib FOREVER and had a cluttered room with two beds. Maybe all I really cared about was keeping the FABULOUS bed-time routine we had- "time for ni-night Sophia", she runs to crib, we boost her in, "ni-night", shut door, see you in twelve hours. Loved it. So we bagged the bed, figured we'd go the weak route and minimize challenges pre-baby. Felt good about our two steps back.

And then we went to Utah last week. She had climbed out of her playpen before, but always with furniture near-by to assist. This time it was graceful and assist-less. So she skipped two days of naps in Utah due to constant wandering, which doesn't sound like a big deal- but made me realize I quite possible AM crazy, and a schedule Nazi, and just about lost my mind when I lost that control. Pretty sure Ross was frightened to be married to me, non-sleeping toddler mixed with pregnancy hormones and all. The worst of it was the night before our early return flight home. She decided to hop out at 2:30 in the morning and play- with us- while we tried to sleep. So for 2 and a half hours she bounced around the bed poking us, playing the drums on Ross's chest, sitting on my throat, draping her body across my face such that I couldn't breath and trying to escape the room because she was "hundadee" (hungry). It was the most helpless feeling, what could we do? There was no where to contain her, except for the room we were in. Unless we wanted to lock her in the bathroom or something--- but then where would I go for all the 15 minute increments remaining in the night? And that seemed cruel.

So after sleeping from 5-6, we woke up and headed to the airport exhausted-- all three of us, arrived home in time for the second session of conference on Sunday to a house with a heaven-sent crib. I crossed my fingers that she hadn't developed the confidence to climb out of that too. Imagine our happiness when she went down like usual for a nap, slept for four hours, called sweetly for us to come get her, and went to bed just as happily two hours after that.

But then imagine my depression when she came strolling in to our bedroom at 6 am the next morning.

No. I say to myself in utter sadness. She can climb out. It's official. I'm pretty sure this is when you're not supposed to fight the big-girl bed transition anymore and just deal with the fact that some things might change. I used to think I was good at change. Hmm. So the nap yesterday? Another failure. And it's a very good thing that nobody but strangers at Target came into contact with me. I was not a happy camper. Especially when Target didn't have the childproof door-knob covers I needed, "go ahead and check online" Sylvia says. Do I look like a woman with a week's worth of patience for shipping?

So when I got home I had the brilliant idea of switching door knobs between the master and Sophia's room to get a lock on the outside of her door. It worked! With only one minor incident. I may have locked myself in my room with no phone with the door knobs fallen out of place for about 15 minutes crying in frustration and guilt while Sophia cried on the other side-- I really thought I was going to have to run out to a neighbor's through the back door and call Ross to come home while staring at Sophia through a window or something. Luckily I had Ross's tool box and finally got it open. Sigh. And I think my story's almost over. Rebecca, just never direct Levi my way. (He hates longs posts.)

So bed-time was fine... that is after I put her in her crib. The big-girl bed was the first attempt and upon finding the locked door, she went crazy. She screamed for about 25 minutes with one intervention, and then I put her in her crib and she went to sleep, only to try the lock this morning at 6. A bit calmer after a good night's sleep, the whining was softer and sporadic... but mixed with her new cough, we only had the heart for about 12 minutes before we brought her in our bed to watch that Spanish show on PBS. (The English PBS kid’s shows don't start 'till 6:30. That's how I know 6 am is *universally just too early. *Well I guess more like nationally.... Culturally? Whatever. It's too early in our house.)

This is one of those posts where I feel the need to remind, this is also my journal-- and I know all these details must bore some to death, or at least to avoidance. But they've consumed my thoughts and I can't seem to write anything down without writing them. I guess it's no secret that my life right now is not much more than the sum of pregnancy and toddler joys and challenges. Good things that's more than enough.

10 comments:

Brandon or Michelle. said...

hey there lovely lillie. this comment comes in a sincere form of "THANK YOU" from me and I'm sure many other people. I'm SORRY you've had such a frightful couple of days. But it is so REFRESHING to hear that I am not the only one struggling with toddler-rific issues: the climbing out, the waking up too early, the SCREAMING that I can only take for 12 minutes (tops!), the pregnancy woes on top of it all, the STRESS involved in change and the un-noticed need of control until it all goes out the window and I'm about to FREAK... seriously, I have had many moments this past week that are too similar to your situation to be funny yet, but in the meantime, thank you for having the same adventures and having the courage to BLOG about them. you are the best. :)

ice cream anyone? sure, it's only 7:55am, but who's looking? my favorite lately is chocolate peanut butter. come over. I'll share. :)

chloe elizabeth said...

the beauty is people can read it or not. you're not forcing it on anyone. that's why I love the blog.

The Platts said...

oh Lillie. You have my deepest sympathies, but I am also glad that I have somebody to commiserate with. Chloe is post- three years old, and we are fighting the binki, potty training, and a hectic night time routine with another baby on the way. All I can say is Hang In There. I think you are nothing short of heroic.

Laci and the Girls said...

Oh Lillie, I feel for you. It was even a bit hard to read....I know it too well :) I've finally decided that after 4 kids, I'd rank sleep deprivation and just anything that has to do with sleep as one of the hardest things. Man, it's hard. It'll work though. I know it's overwhelming thinking #2 is just around the corner and you're not sleeping now. I'm such a wimp when I'm tired....not the time to discipline for me. Good luck. You will make it!

The rlmmmmcaress Family: said...

There is a reason why there is a five and a half year gap between the two older and the two younger. Sleep deprivation was a major issue since Madison never slept more than an hour and a half until six months, then three hours at a time until she was a year. There were a few times I thought I was going insane. I read every book, checked videos out of the library, asked every mom I knew . . . nothing worked. So for baby #3 it took two nights to get her to six hours and baby #4 took two weeks to get to six hours, because I had become a putting-baby-to-sleep-expert. I could have had ten if they were all like McKayla. Thank you for sharing, it brought back memories for why I do not have ten children. I think you are doing great. It is the people who try to act like everything is perfect that end up going truly bonkers. Normal people go through the emotional roller coasters.

Laura said...

Lillie, you don't really know me, but I was Ross's friend in high school. I just wanted to comisserate with you. I have a crazy 2 year old too. He wouldn't sleep either. Lately for naps the only thing I can do is either get him to fall asleep in the car or put a movie in and he falls asleep in front of it. At night we still have to stand at his door until he falls asleep. It has gotten a little bit better, but it has been 3 months. I remember that sick feeling when your 2 year old is walking around and they are supposed to be in their crib. Hang in there she will get it soon. Say hi to Ross for us.

Kodi said...

Yikes! Why haven't you called? Better yet, I'll call you.

Becky Freestone said...

i found it quite entertaining, i feel bad for you, but i enjoyed hearing about your challenging tike. you are right, 6 am is way, way too early. how do you do it? especially pregnant. you are such a sweet mom. i would probably just lock her in her room while i slept. i better live up my mornings of sleeping in while they last. yikes!!

Missy said...

I know I haven't reached this mileston in parenting yet, but I really think she'll get it Lillie. I do. She's too good of a sleeper not to. But, please know that when I'm there myself with Avery I will be emailing you or at least diving into your archives to make sure that we all experience something similar and that it does work out (eventually). Please update when things do:)

snlbarney said...

Hang in there Lillie - it can only get better right? She can't still be in a crib when she goes off to college:) I have a early riser in Ethan - no matter what time he goes to bed, that boy is up by 6:30! The best thing is now I have taught him to pour his own cereal! He has everything waiting for him when he gets up, and he eats, and turns on some preprogrammed cartoons until Malia and I join him at 7:00! See, it gets better...:)