Thursday, February 09, 2012

Dear Finn,

I know the first one's blurry... but I love that little-man-grimace you give me while you breath so deliberately through your teeth, and that hole in your knee, and your herniated belly button.  That's a first for us.

YOU are 13 months old.  Or you were at the end of January.  Where does the time go? I can not keep up these days.  Let's blame you.  You're a busy guy right now.

You still nurse a little bit.  It's just here and there.  Maybe just once a day. And I'm mourning that coming to an end.  Those will always be some of my most precious moments with you.  First thing in the morning is my favorite, when I plop you next to me in bed and you roll on your side and I pull my knees up to cradle your warm little body.  I get to wrap my arms around you so you're almost all enclosed-- I feel like a mama-kanga.  When else would you lie still with me in bed for minutes at a time?  Hundreds of seconds? Heaven. You use your free hand to try and play with my hair.  You can't buy moments like that.

However, you definitely like food too.  Like food food.  We didn't do mush for long.  It's too hard to find the time to sit down and spoon feed you.  Sorry.  I think you like to control your shove-it-in-your-face pace anyway.  Your favorite foods are pasta, pancakes, turkey sausage, scrambled eggs, melted ham and cheese sandwiches, cuties (little oranges-- you eat these faster than I can put them on your tray) and blueberries.  You're awfully impatient when you've decided you want to eat and I usually end up trying to prepare something with one arm while you're on my hip rather than listen to you scream with that grimace (see top photos) from your high chair.

I think if I kept track, you've had more midnight wake-ups than your sisters ever did.  And there's been weeks here and there where you consistently get me out of bed.  And we're usually not in bed 'till after midnight, so I'm tired.  But for some reason, it hasn't really bothered me like it used to.  More than a little part of me was happy to steal those quiet, tender sleepy moments with you.  Is it because you're my third and I'm less terrified that I'm creating a monster and more like --- "eh- he's a baby?"

But for the most part, you've been a good sleeper since you were a couple of months old.  And your naps have seemed so easy and consistent.  You often still take three in a day, -- sometimes two.  Depending on when you wake up.  If you're up at 6, you go right back down for an early one.  If you're up at 7, we'll wait 'till after gym and maybe just fit two.  You don't like to be awake for much more than 3 hours at at time.  And (unless your sick or teething) you're happy and easy and then the moment you're not, I put you down.  And you don't fight it one bit.  You look up at me when I lay you in your bed as if to say "ahhhhh..... it's about time." you love your bed.  Is this boring to the future you? Somehow it seems significant to me.  And it's my blog, look at the title.

You're not walking yet, but this last week, you made some serious progress in that arena.  You love to walk with me and then push my hands away.  You stand there, with Kelly Slater -like balance, and then get so excited that you start breathing all hard through your teeth again, flapping your wings, and clapping for yourself, until you sit or bend over and fall.  You SORT OF maybe kinda took a couple of your first steps two days ago, a little shuffle left.  We all cheered. It's coming.  You're going to be a professional athlete.

Words? For sure.  You say "mama" and "dada"-- I'm certain you know what they mean.  I remember when your sisters were babies, I didn't feel convinced that their first words had meaning.  But I'm sure you know who's mama and who's dada.  I think you tried to parrot me saying "i love you' the other day too.  Oh and you do "uh oh" -- and when you're calling for the girls.... it's consistent, but just "uhhhh?!! uhh???!!!" all over the house.  sophia? mila?! where are you?! 

You don't watch anything on screens yet.  Your sisters did.  Sorry... the lot of the third child, there is plenty of entertainment around here.  So you have to miss out on watching bunnies jump and caterpillars creep to classical music.  You watch the GIRLS watch movies on our phones, but all you want to do is stick that phone in your mouth.

Here's a normal day for you at 13 months: 
7:00 am -  wake, nurse, get dressed, play on the floor in our room, back and forth to the girls room and ours, or crawl downstairs alone like a big boy to play in the toyroom.
7:45 am- we join you downstairs and you have real breakfast
9:00 am- you play at the gym while I workout for an hour or so.
10:20 am - we race you home and into your bed--- where you sleep like a
12:30 you wake up and have lunch, then play in the backyard usually, with Sawyer and Mila.
2:45 We go pick up Sophia and you drink lots of water and Mila feeds you snacks if you get cranky.  Big sisters are the best.
3:30 back down for anther nap. "ahhhh..... it's about time zzzzzz"
5:30 up and ready the last few minutes of light outside with your sisters, then dinner, bath, DAD, play...
7:00 and back to bed.

I dream of making a video that shows a day in our life.  So that I won't miss a thing.  I can feel it right now--- that we're in a sweet sweet phase of life.  Not like a, 'I bet I'll look back on this and wish I enjoyed it' phase, but like 'I wish I could freeze time RIGHT NOW and enjoy it longer.'  It's a good one.  And I think it has a lot to do with the fact that you still let me hold you as long as I'm willing and squish my face in your cheeks to my heart's content.  That's powerful stuff.  

Please don't grow up.  Ok but do.  At least 13 months is recorded.  And if you're horrendous next month, I'll always have this post.  Check.  

1 comment:

Rosie G said...

I cried. My baby is 12 months old on Wednesday and I'm in a "Peter Pan" phase too...just stay little forever...

I hope he loves these memories of yours because they're raw and beautiful! You're a fantastic mommy!