Thursday, October 15, 2015

Dear Knox, You're Nine Months

Knox Hardy Biesinger,

Tomorrow you'll be nine months. That means you've been here in our arms and in our home, rolling around and eating and giggling and spitting up almost as long as you grew in my belly those nine months before.  It seems like a significant age for that reason.  Which makes sense because you are more of your own person every day right now.  More teeth, new hair, new faces, more giggles... new tricks.  Nine months is good.

-You aren't fully crawling yet but it seems like you've had the skills to crawl for at least a month or two.  You might be my first official army crawler, pulling with your elbows and pushing with your feet and dragging your belly along for the ride.  You're not all over the house yet, but when you see something you really want (like dad when he got home tonight) those elbows can really pick up the pace.  I'm crossing my fingers you don't get too ambitious too fast, I'm appreciating that you'll still hang out on a blanket with toys while I lay by the pool, and you're not yet cruising the house looking for things like crickets and dishwasher detergent to put in your mouth.  This phase is good.

- You have four teeth on top and three on the bottom, kind of a lot of teeth for your age, and yet you might be my least interested in food.  Feeding you real food is my least favorite baby "chore", although I'd take my least favorite chore with you over pretty much anything else.  You could make a root canal kinda sweet. Well I don't know those are brutal. But back to you, you don't reach for and seem to love food quite yet.  But we go through the mandatory-ish baby food a few times a day.  You like oatmeal and applesauce and sometimes yogurt... we offer you everything and you eat some but mostly I clean up a highchair and floor covered in banana, cheese, salmon, hot dogs, grapes, crackers, berries... you name it and it's stuck in the cracks between our hardwood I'm sure.

- Sometimes I worry you'll hardly know I'm your mom since a few months ago, you discovered the bottle when I was at an appointment one day and it's been your favorite ever since.  I officially stopped nursing you when you were about 7 and a half months and you certainly didn't miss it.  I think I was forcing you to snuggle with me a bit longer but you just wanted to lay free and hold your own bottle and down it at your own pace.  I think you'd be happy if we skipped food and just gave you bottles all day.  You love that thing.  

- You love your sisters and your brother so much.  They come home from school and every one of them looks immediately for you.  Finn says "where's bubbas?!" I wonder if he'll still call you that when you're older. Your sisters are so helpful... you must feel like you have three moms.  They love to hold and play with you and let you hang on the floor in their room while they play.  Mila loves to make you a bottle all on her own.. they're going to be expert babysitters since they could pretty much take care of you all day just fine... you're a lucky boy to have these siblings, and they're so lucky to have you.

- Lately I feel like people are constantly telling me how good you are.  I wasn't sure if you'd be one of my easier or harder in the beginning... I think I wasn't making as much milk as you needed and you weren't sleeping nearly as much as your siblings had.  Your naps were short and it felt like you were hungry all day.  Besides that you were always sweet and even tempered. Your cycles throughout the day were just short.  The bottle turned that around and while you still don't always take a 3 hour nap like Finn did, you are so even tempered and easily entertained. So sweet and content-- I almost don't care how long you sleep.  Which is definitely a first.  You go down when you get fussy and when you wake, you come join the herd of action.  You sit and lay and roll and army crawl amongst the throngs of homework, piano, and a revolving door of neighborhood friends.  I wonder if you'll always like being around a lot of people because that's what you'll be used to.

I wish I could stop time and forever feel your face burrowing into me when you're tired and about to be laid down, and the weight of your little 23 pound body when I lift you out of your crib with wide but sleepy eyes. There's nothing better in the world.  But every day there's a little more of you to love and that makes the loss of the youngest days bearable.  I'm so excited to see what you'll be at a year, 18 months, 2.... 5...8 .... there are so many precious moments and phases ahead Knoxy and every person in this family will be hanging on to every one of them.  

Someday you'll have a chubby heaven- sent nine-month old and only then will you know how much I love you.

Love, Mom

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