Dear John,

.... I mean, Computer,

It's not you, it's me. I think we need a break. I obviously have an addictive personality and cannot resist you. Pushing your buttons, your sleek, compact body-- I'm so happy to see you every morning and you're one of the last to say goodnight to me at night. I got a new computer armour and shoved you in the other room so I wouldn't hit "check mail" between the top and bottom shelf of my dishwasher unloading each morning. It helped a little. Now I had to decide when I had time for you, which was less often than before... I felt a little more in control...

but then somebody convinced me to join face book. I didn't realize how it worked. I thought I could look up a few friends that I was aching to reconnect with, that someone who REALLY wondered about me could look me up. I didn't know it was this mega-match-making MACHINE that finds everyone you ever knew or wanted to know or didn't want to know and hooks you up with them. Holy moly. This is the last thing I needed. Another feature of yours to suck me in. More emails, constant reunions that deserve full email responses... it's exhausting! And yet so fun! awful! wonderful!

is this what addiction is like?

I lost me to cyberspace.

I won't let it happen!!!!! But I do love you too much, so I'm mostly kidding... obviously taking the time to write this means I could never be a true blog-dropper. It's at least somewhat a REAL part of me. This is where I record all my best memories (which really means, all the very normal daily-grind kind of memories... but I'm a mom, they're all special). You give me a place to post my pictures to make a new photography hobby MUCH more fun than if I had no friends to cheer me on. You keep me connected to so many incredible, inspiring people that live too far to see. You help me shop for the VERY best deal and save all sorts of time and money. Or do you? Convenient shopping means more-often-shopping. It's another tricky double edged sword you offer me. Sigh.

So am I breaking up with you? You ask-- sigh. I would if I knew what was good for me. But.... No. I'm too far in. We know each other too well. What would I reward myself with during nap-time (along with my nap-time treat?) What would I do on the couch at night while we watch our shows? What would I do with the endless photos of my blue-eyed-beauties?

But perhaps I'll limit our quality time just a little. Please don't be hurt--- I promise.... it's not you...... it's me.

xo-- Lillie