(Mila in her swing... a common occurrence.)
I remember when my friend Lizzie had her ADORABLE little girl Kate, she mentioned once that she felt bad that Kate spent so much time in the swing so Lizzie could tend her much more demanding (also adorable) two-year old, Tanner. I also remember our friend Rachelle saying in response to Lizzie's concern, "It's the lot of the second child."
So I guess mostly I'm just hoping someone will reaffirm that this might be true. Unfortunate, but true? And maybe without lasting damage? Because I'm pretty sure that when Sophia was happy and content I was still holding her, and talking to her, and reading to her, and counting her toes, and waiting anxiously for any potential smile, and doing 'there was an old bumblebee'......
But when Mila's happy and content, well there's laundry to fold, and Sophia's food to clean up, and dishes to do, and possibly some very unforeseen mess that happened while Mila was NOT happy and content and I was too busy with her to come and see what Sophia was doing as she repeatedly hollered, "uh oh , a mess", and then of course there's just those precious moments I have to make sure and still have with Sophia.
So my sweet, 8 week old, when she's feeling the sweetest, is usually smiling and cooing at the birds and butterflies making circles above her head, rather than her mommy's excited face. I'm sad about that, and just hoping that she still feels as insanely loved and adored as Sophia did. Ope-- she's awake.
11 comments:
That picture is fantastic!
Yes, it's part of being the 2nd child and the 3rd. Tatum lived in her swing, but now that she's out grown it she's in her bouncy seat or on the floor.
It's also the lot of the 2nd, 3rd, and I'm banking on 4th child too. I say we let go of the guilt and be greatful for the overwhelming technology :) we have been blessed with as mothers. Such as swings, bouncy chairs, musical toys that can be played with the feet, and refridgerateable teething rings. AAAHH...the good life!!
Girl, you're getting good with that camera! Very impressed.
I'm a little shocked at your indifference to your child's needs. There is a new school of thought that posits that women should never put down a second child, as this could encourage dualitical mania as they grow. The proper thing now is to have the baby in some kind of carrier, preferably a sling, but a Baby Bjorn will do, at all times, including sleep and the shower. Swings are a precursor to TV addiction, which leads to sedentary lifestyles, increased prescription of antibiotics and higher rates of autism.
There are also studies that correlate teen pregnancy with the ill-prepared state of girls who grew up listening to nature sounds and looking in funhouse-like rounded mirrors. The mirror distortion leads to lower self-esteem, increased desire for rhinoplasty, and by extension of the poor self-esteem, increased promiscuity.
i for one have met mila, and i think she's a perfectly well-balanced and happy baby. hooray for swings, I think they allow the babies to be a part of the action without the possibility of having an accident due to doing other chores while carrying her in the sling or bjorn.
I have read that happy, healthy children are those who grow up being a PART of the family, not the CENTER of the family. I think as long as mila is where she can hear you and sophia, she is in a great interacting state, and you are doing a perfect job balancing the two. I know you lillie. I know that you always take special care to give her MORE than enough love. so no worries, okay?
wish I could walk to the market with you today. I need some cookies..oh, i mean fruit and vegetables. :)
I don't really know if that's what automatically happens with the second child but I can imagine it to be so.
It's Brynne, Michelle's friend (who's obsessed with having the prefect beautiful blonde hair) again. Just a question for you. Are you sure that picture of your daughter being pushed in the swing is not you? Or is it really your sister? Is her hair naturally that blonde or is it a full all-over weave? It's beautiful! Can you send more pics of her hair that might be good enough to print and take back to my hairdresser? I'm sorry but I could use any help I can get at this point!. Thank you!
No doubt you are doing a fabulous job Lillie! As loved and adored as the first child is, it's probably not the way it should be. Just think, where did they get saying "babies are like pancakes, you always have to throw the first one out." It's because we ruin the first child by revolving our world around them. I know I do with my Luke. The subsequent children have a more realistic and healthy view of the world. So, if your going to feel bad for anyone, feel bad for Sophia! =)
I'm hoping that "Jess Kiding" really was "just kidding", because as mothers we put enough pressure (and guilt) on our own backs, we don't need anonymous commenters adding more. Your babies are beautiful and so are you, Lillie! Keep up the good work (because being the mom to two babies is absolutely hard work!).
I think about that often...how I can someday give my second child as much attention as Nate gets and it's just not going to happen. Then, I think, "poor Nate. He's used to all of my attention and eventually he's not going to have it."
You can't feel guilty. Mila knows she is loved by both you and her big sis. It's part of having siblings. Learning to share! You are a FABULOUS mama.
Lillie,
Can you take our family picture this summer? You are truly amazing.
Christin
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