Life is Good.

A few from one of the shoots I just finished up...

Life's been busy. I feel like I say that every time I take a minute to write anything on here, so I'm sure it's getting old. I know it's busy for everyone. But I find balancing everything to be getting trickier and trickier for me.

Maybe it's just hitting me hard right now since I'm still trying to get through the last few pre-Christmas shoots. And I'm finding it hard to fit anything extra into a day besides the essential. And I haven't quite put photography into the essentials category.

What me-time things should be sacrificed because that's what you do as a mom? And which ones are worth prioritizing for your sanity and health? I'm sure it's different for everyone? But I think sometimes it's too easy to say "you need that! It's important that you take care of yourself!" ... to others.... or yourself--- the whole world tells you that. And I think it's totally true. But I also thing too much of that thinking can be dangerous. And unfair to your children. I'm trying to find the balance.

This is sounding familiar.... I just remembered I blogged a quote that touches on this...

ok ... so I just found it from this old post.

"Selfishness in any form or degree weakens the bonds that hold families together. The rise of selfishness in our society is the fundamental underlying trend that undermines families and makes successful marriages so difficult."

So I know I need some excercise, and some grown-up time, some hobby time, and some study time, some time for cooking, and cleaning, and organizing, some time for maintaining relationships, time to serve in my church calling, and serve in general, time to be CREATIVE, and be inspired (this is how I make pinterest sound less petty).... time for Ross, time for friends, time to be ALL ALONE..... and yet before there's time for most of this....

Time for my kids. Time to play with them, read to them, make food for them (which could consume almost my whole day if I let it... they are my children and love to eat), time to help THEM be creative, time to photograph them, time to kindly discipline them and teach them, time to bathe them and snuggle them and make memories with them and and take them to the park-- time for fits (this can really put a wrench in any time-table I think I've got)...time for homework and chores, and friends and sight words, and teeth-brushing, and scripture reading--- time for comforting and bandaging and rocking and tickling and apologizing --- time for forgiving... ...... BREATH......

Is it even possible that there could ever be enough time in a day? And then you see (or read) women who truly seem to do it all. And maybe that's where I'm an idiot. I know better than to compare myself to super-women. Some women are just insanely super. Maybe they need less sleep, or work way more efficiently, or don't waste time on the computer, or got hit by a giant meteor, or have just been blessed. And I'm happy for them and grateful to them--- they help us to strive a little harder.

I'm like 90% happy for them--- 10% hoping they're actually secret hoarders.

Ok maybe like 80/20.

SO--- my main and all-encompassing resolution for 2012 is to find a happy balance in my life with all of the extras... so that I can focus more energy on being a fabulous mom.

Another quote I believe firmly:

"No other success can compensate for failure in the home." J. E. McCullough, Home: The Savior of Civilization [1924]

Here we go.

A few more of our family photos...

ooh la la.

Thank you LIZZIE for taking these! You were amazing and made me want to step up my game when I'M the one trying to get the kids to smile. You were magic. It's the best feeling to know I've got beautiful photos to fill the frames in my home!

May we be...

I made this little print for the young women in my ward (church.) Lately I feel like I need the reminder as much as they do....

ok way more.

especially if I use the term "text" loosely--- to refer to email, blog, obsessively peruse pinterest for design ideas, check instagram, play hanging with friends, check the latest sales on gilt, and joss and main.... etc.. etc... etc...

I sound like I'm going backwards. And the fact that I'm taking the time to blog about this probably seems a little counter productive. Like the Berenstein Bears episode about watching TOO much TV. Always fills me with guilt.

Anyway--- reminders are good, right?

Tonight we laid on the couch

(in the room with the tree)

as a family.

We listened to

Still Nacht by Mannheim

and soaked in the twinkle and sparkle

one last time for the season.

Ross has made me do this

since we first got married.

I use "made" loosely, since I wait for his lead...

but I wait anxiously.

It's one of my very favorite

small Christmas traditions.

Sophia soaked it up, just like her dad.

Mila kept saying-- "this is it? This isn't fun!"

(Because Ross had said we had one special thing to do

after they brushed their teeth------A surprise.)

She's more interested in surprises wrapped in bows or chocolate.

She's four---and she's Mila... and she's MY daughter (the chocolate)

we don't blame her.

We laughed and she got mad at us for laughing.

Finn slept upstairs.

Sophia lay silent, staring at the tree.

She's every bit as tender and nostalgic as her dad.

Tomorrow it comes down,

and I usually feel a little more ready than I do this year.

But we're excited for 2012.

I have a feeling it's going to be a really good one.

Happy New Year.

And ONE more

And by one more, I mean 15 more. Is it sad that I find it so hard to pull out my big camera these days? I'm so torn all the time, on whether or not to spend my time participating, or photographing. Serious dilemma. I must say, I'm so grateful for the easy documenting of an iphone... at least I know it's captured right?

Hope your Christmas was merry!

Catching up in Instagrams

I'm really hoping that after the holidays--- and after I finish up the end of my 2011 shoots.... I'll have time to blog again...

until then--- little pretend polaroids will have to do.

Merry Christmas!

(Front and back of our Christmas card.)

Off to soak up all sorts of family and food and fun and Christmas spirit. Merry Christmas!

It's that time of year

Spare time has been hard to come by this Christmas season, but baking has been a priority. It's like icecream. There's always room.

I've decided that it's important because...

a: it feeds my children... and homemade wheat bread almost balances out the endless batches of cookies and candy--

b: it serves as gifts... and homemade gifts are the best.

c. the bread makes my house smell like heaven and I like the smell of Heaven.

d: it's thereputic for me, and calms my racing mind, which means it's worth the time... even when I'm waiting 'till midnight for my bread to come out of the oven.

One of the gift-treats we made for a few neighbors this year.... almond roca.

I love almond Roca, or toffee... whatever you like to call it because it feels so special and Christmasy to me... but it's really so easy and so quick. The hardest thing is just that you could really use a candy thermometer for it... and I'd imagine not everyone has one on hand. I do. nana na na na.

My friend, Lizzie taught me how to make this a lots of years ago when we had much fewer children between the two of us and could play all day in the kitchen.

1 lb butter

3 c. sugar

2/3 c. water

3 c. almonds (toasted and chopped up)

3 c. milk chocolate chips (I use the pound plus bar from Trader Joes chopped up... SO much better than chocolate chips... any good quality chocolate will do.)

In pot: add water, add butter and sugar, cook to 320 degrees. It's pretty mellow in the beginning, but stir pretty regularly (I should say that, but I walk away a lot during this part) When it hits the high 200's, it's getting really hot and needs constant stirring until you reach 320.

Have cookie sheet ready with sides greased and 1.5 cups almonds sprinkled on pan.

At 320, immediately pour mixture on pan.

Sprinkle with 3 cups of milk chocolate and let it sit till it melts, (it happens quickly) then spread around.

Sprinkle with remaining 1.5 cups of almonds. Let cool. (I cheat and pop it in the freezer to harden the chocolate when I'm in a hurry.)

Another recent obsession. I can't stop making bread.

I feel like I sound like a robot--- can you tell I'm in a hurry?

Oh and Lizzie gave me this recipe too.... I guess this is a what-would-I-make-if-I-didn't-have-Lizzie? post too.

Lizzie's Whole Wheat Bread

3 1/3 C hot water

1.5 T yeast

1/3 C honey

1/3 C butter

1 T salt

1 C flour

1/2 C wheat gluten

1 C oat flour (or grind up oatmeal in your blender- I don't always have this handy and just substitute white or wheat flour)

7 C whole wheat flour (I use hard white wheat, and I usually only need about 6 total.)*

Mix water, honey yeast. Let proof. Add white flour, oat flour, gluten and half of the whole wheat flour. Mix. Add salt and butter/oil. Mix. Add the rest of the flour until it barely cleans the upper half of the bowl when mixer is running. (this is much more important than getting all 7 cups of wheat flour in. It could take much less.)

Knead for 10 minutes in mixer. Dough should be smooth and elastic, but sticky. Let rest 10-20 minutes. Set oven to 170 degrees. Spray Pam on your hands and shape into 2 loaves. Put in oven and immediately turn OFF oven. Let rise in oven for 22 minutes then turn oven to 350 degrees and cook 28-30 minutes. Immediately turn out onto cooling racks.

*The amount of whole wheat flour you use will just depend on how dry your wheat kernels are and how humid it is where you live.

You're welcome.

Letters to Santa

Dear Santa, What I want

for Christmas is a big

monster truck and my own

phone, and I want a doggy

with a leash, and my own

Jessie doll. And I want

a bike, please.

Sophia B. (and a picture of a phone with her name on it--- just to make sure he got it.)

A monster truck? Who knew? And a phone? Poor girl... it's going to be a LONG time before Santa agrees to that one.

Here's Mila's, she told me what she wanted to write and I wrote each word on another sheet of paper for her to look at. This was the result:

Dear Santa, please bring a doggy and a scooter.

And clearly after watching them write those, with so much intent.... mine:

Dear Santa,

Please keep them little forever.

Lillie

Putting Up Christmas

Yay! I made a movie. With lots of Ross's help, which is why I'm in this one. We shot it with my Canon 5D mark 2, with my 50mm 1.4 lens. We used the song White Christmas by Michael Buble and Shania Twain, and I edited it in imovie.

There's just something about video. I already melt, watching my kids faces move on screen... I can only imagine what I'll feel like when they're all grown up and don't eat their gingerbread cookies like this anymore.

(Here's the one from Christmas day last year... maybe I'll make it happen once a year.)

Busy

Here's a few favorites from a recent shoot. Taking the time to blog a whole shoot on my photo blog seems wasteful right now... there's too much I'm behind on as it is. Maybe I'll just throw in a few here and there.

We finally decorated the tree last night. I did some video and (in my dreams) I hope to actually put together a little Christmasy video from it... we'll see how that goes. Hopefully better than the ragnar video I've meant to do since September. Obviously I'm inspired by the videos over on The Little Red House.

Figured out address labels and hopefully I'll get my cards out on time this year! I'm thrilled about it.

It's cold enough that my hands feel a little numb as I type. I'm in heaven.

Just because I never got around to an "I'm thankful for" blog, doesn't mean I'm not thankful. My head is exploding with all of the things that I'm thankful for this time of year.

Sophia and Mila are the coolest girls I've ever met. My time with them feels more and more scarce already (1st grade is SOOOOO long) and it makes me that much more aware of how much I love their company.

But Mila still throws fits that make me wonder if my neighbors will call the cops on me. Although our Elf on the Shelf has seriously helped my cause. When she's not TOO tired or TOO hungry where she can't think straight, she stops herself before a fit because of Ellie (the elf.) I think it was worth every penny. Though I sure wish I came up with it... 30 bucks for a book and like a dollar store doll? Nice.

I'm eating way too many cookies and not enough vegetables. Why do veggies stop sounding good when it's colder?

Finn is 11 months and cruising all over the house. I'm excited for/dreading him walking. Wish me luck.

Trying to SLOOOOOWWWW down the days so the anticipation for Christmas can last just a little longer...... I think bread smells better cooking than it tastes.... maybe this is the same?

One way to feel like I'm "catching up"

Some recent instagrams. Why is it such a ginormous battle for me to balance feeling so busy in November/December that I get anxious for January, and yet utterly DEPRESSED at the thought that this month will ever end! I love it! I wish the whole year could be "the holidays". But I know better. Such a crazy/special/precious time.

Like the best laugher ever

This is Emma. We took her family pictures a couple of years ago and then a couple of weeks ago. She was a dream for me. She had so much attitude and couldn't help herself from laughing every time we begged her not too. I was in heaven.

Things have been busy around here. Lots of picture-taking, lots of editing, lots of chores, lots of time-outs, lots of homework...

luckily also... lots of cool weather, and hot chocolate, lots of Christmas music, and yummy foods, and lots of family.

I've discovered instagram which I must admit, is the quickest easiest way to feel like I've frozen and saved a sweet moment-- which makes it that much harder to justify finding the non-existent time to get over here and blog. I miss my blog. It's theraputic for me to keep it up. And I love the dream of someday having books containing every morsel.

I'm thinking in like 20 years when all of the kids are off at college. Then I might "have" time.

It's amazing what he can do with those four teeth

I feel like he went from mostly nursing to eating almost anything like overnight. This boy is growing so fast!

There's no place like home

- These are my new red flats. They were on sale at J. Crew. Pay no attention to what looks like an abnormal gap between the little toes on my left foot. That's weird. It's sad that it's sort of a big deal for me since I am almost always in running shoes, or flip flops.

- Mila has strep, poor thing--- so we have been stuck at home for the last couple of days. She turns 4 on Saturday and I just keep counting down the days till she's 4 1/2, which is when I swear Sophia's behavior switched over to AMAZING. Mila's tough right now. Have I mentioned it? Knocking on wood that she (in all her glorious differences) might follow suit on that little calendar item.

- Ross's parents are moving to the desert!!!!!! His dad got a job here a while ago, that was recently made more permanent, and I am constantly lost in daydreams about what it'll be like to live so close to family. SOOOO excited!

- I loved the Twilight books so much... I wish I was more excited for the new movie. I wish I could have picked the cast. I mean, that's all I ask. Just can't get used to Kristin Stewart and how she always looks ticked off... and maybe high.

- Been busy taking pictures lately. Had a mishap with my 50mm and am having it repaired, so I rented the 35mm 1.4..... THAT's been fun. What a lovely lens.

- Baking way too much bread, and cookies, and nightly pizookies. Fall is here and baked goods just feel soooo gooooood.....

- Speaking of baked goods.... I need to make a yummy dessert for our big family Thanksgiving... anyone have a recipe that's to die for?

A few of my favorites from a recent shoot

I don't usually do hazy... but her expression just looked like it should be.

Lizzie took our family pictures

And I'm dying to post them all, but trying to resist until after I decide what's going in the Christmas card at least.... Maybe just one.. or two. A few. THANK YOU LIZZIE!!

It's that time of year

There's a couple of new shoots over on the other blog.