"A little comfort from home.... pfft....I laugh at warm fuzzies"-- Sophia K. Biesinger*

(*ok, not actually a quote)

(Proof that I eventually got her the appropriate sized Dora backpack--- very hip amongst her peers... wouldn't want her going to school with anything less.)


Miss Rachelle suggested bringing something from home like a stuffed animal or doll to comfort the child if they get homesick or sad.

Hah.

Sophia likes her dolls.

But not nearly as much as she likes being ANYWHERE but home. The second we get to school she chucks the doll and runs away from me as fast as possible. Three hours later, when I go to pick her up, she teases me by yelling, "you're home mommy.... you're home!!", and almost has me believing that she missed me. But then she just goes on playing, avoiding me as long as possible until I drag her to the car, always the last to go, and then drive her home listening to the sweet serenade of "I don't want to go home! I don't want to go home!" from the back seat.

So sometimes I count my blessings and think I have a wonderfully well-adjusted daughter who LOVES to be social and active.

And then sometimes I just wonder what exactly it is I'm doing wrong that makes her HATE being home and feel NO loneliness for me when we're apart. I think she went through a phase around 8 months where she didn't like me to leave the gym childcare..... Besides that, she pretty much never looks back. She loves the gym. Loves nursery. She's always trying to snuggle with her friend's mommies and says hi to EVERYONE who looks about her age at Ikea, Sea World etc.... she's a friendly girl. I've always said she was fearless. Not just because it's a mommy thing to say. I really think she's fearless. (Well except after I took her on Snow White at Disneyland, that freaked her out pretty good-- big mistake.)

So maybe I'll choose to believe it's a good thing. A strength of Sophia's, a sign of security and self confidence... and not an indicator of a completely unappealing home and mommy...

Three

It really shouldn't have been so stressful. A three-year-old's birthday party. But the weeks got away before I knew it and her birthday passed and we had so much going on with the whole Morgan Stanley move, but I SWORE I'd throw her a real party this year. We did Sea World on her real birthday which probably would have seemed like more than enough if that's actually why we went... but it wasn't. And I felt bad killing two birds with one stone just because I knew I could get away with it since she is only three. I remember going to Mother's Day family parties and my mom telling me it was also my birthday party and I didn't buy it. (Sorry mom, not traumatized or anything, just a memory :)). I'm sure Sophia isn't old enough to catch me yet.... but regardless, I guess for my sake, or something (and I knew that she would LOVE every second of it- my social butterfly) ... we finally did the real birthday party. Only a few weeks late.

In order to reduce the amount of stress involved, I kept telling myself it would just be a few of her closest friends, and some cupcakes. "Erase from your memory the Fancy Nancy Party" I told myself. Forget the homemade suckers and crown-decorating, the tiny round PB&J sandwiches and the fancy hot chocolate with whipped cream. The home-made Tutu that served as the "take-home trinket," AND the goody bucket of nail-polishes and lip-gloss. No one will judge you if it really is just cupcakes. But then I keep thinking. But people will bring gifts. Are they expecting that in return for their gift they'll get an A-list party with a great take-away?! Such panic. Sometimes, I tell you.... this mommy thing... we've got some stiff competition. :) (I'm kidding, so please, no anonymous comments about how it really doesn't matter and it seems as though I'm too worried about the small things in life and I shouldn't compare myself to other moms....).

So it was a few friends (I debated and debated how many to invite... too many cute kids in our area now... too few spots at the table etc.... so another stress.... local friend-bloggers, please don't be offended if you weren't invited to my last-minute, belated, small birthday party), cupcakes, some painting, some crazy dancing (and wrestling... see pic. of Sophia and Tanner.... the only boy at the party had to bring some boy fun with him) and some present opening. All in all, a success.

Sophia did her flawless present-opening reaction over and over again " (gasp) Woooooowwwww.... what iiiiiiiiiisss it????? Wooooowww........" that almost makes the spoiling-rotten part of birthday parties all worth it.

Her 1st day of school!

It was Monday. But I didn't get a chance to blog it. I DID, however, of course snap at least a couple of pictures before we raced out the door. Raced because it was already 8:41, and it starts at 8:45... but it didn't matter since it is at my friend, Rachelle's house like ONE minute away! I debating not doing it. And now, two days in, I could kiss Rachelle's face off.

Sophia loves it, as I knew she would. She doesn't want to leave when I get there. She's around the corner, and her teacher is a good friend of mine that I know and trust, so I feel super safe. And like I said, she's around the corner. Could it get any easier for mama?!

So far, I'm in heaven. I miss her of course, and want to eat her up at lunch time, which is a good thing. Oh yeah, and the pictures.... I kept talking up school with a backpack, thought I'd get her one, and forgot. So when the morning came, she kept asking for her backpack. I explained to her that I forgot to get her a little-girl backpack, so she could wait 'till next time, or use Daddy's big backpack. She chose the latter. I don't have to tell you how cute she looked.

At Ten Months

Mila, Mila Bean, M, MiMi, Lala, baby girl, Mila G....at ten months, she's:

Crawling and of course "into everything" as they say, just starting to cruise (as in picking her feet up and carefully placing them back down with both hands on coffee table), babbling and humming and screaming and growling, saying mama (I think in reference to me, but who EVER knows), loving all things food (except the ones made for babies) and eats--- I kid you not--- as much as me in a sitting. I'm certain she could eat a whole avocado, probably half a medium sized watermelon, and a serving of pasta.... she is indeed, my daughter. She's sweet as can be and snuggles like every mom hopes her baby will. She melts into your chest and burrows into anything cozy with the most joyful expression. She never took a binky which was crazy to me after Sophia, and instead, her bed-time vice is her blankie which she instantly pulls up to her face and rolls over to snuggle. It's precious. Long drives were awful until it occurred to us that she didn't have her blankie, so I took off my shirt, threw it on top of her, and watched her scrunch it to her face and drift off. I was left looking a little silly, she was quiet and all was worth it.

It's all going by too fast. With Sophia, I remember being so excited for each upcoming phase, I didn't really have room to miss the past. Now I wish I could just pause her, and eat up every phase a little longer. Maybe it has something to do with my background noise right now (Sophia screaming at the top of her lungs for no apparent reason) that, from my experience, seems to accompany a three year old.

Ten months.... ahhhh..... it's sweet.

The last of Newport

So I just reread my last post and am a little embarrassed. We just had a week in Newport Beach, doing all the fun things I mentioned. Breathing in the most heavenly ocean air of the most heavenly temperature. Playing with our kids without the normal distraction of responsibility, laundry, house-projects... etc... We got to eat Peanut Butter Malt Balls to our heart's desire after the kiddies went to bed. It was the perfect week to get away, as Ross has been working super late each night, coming home, pretty much just to sleep, so I didn't have to feel like I was missing out on him. I mean, it couldn't have been much better. But I guess that's the thing about blogging... you get the current emotion. And yesterday's post happened to be to surrounded by a little bit too much three-year-old poop and attitude. So, please excuse my less-than-perky post.

Here are some more pictures to prove JUST HOW MUCH FUN we had. ;) Our friend, Rachelle and her boys, Ben and Will, came out yesterday and we had Zpizza at the park before I left. You know how sometimes you eat a bowl of ice cream and it's super good, but that last bite is, like BEYOND good. And you think (or ask your husband), "how am I supposed to stop there when I can't get that last bite out of my head? Diminishing returns- reshmurns...." And so you make yourself seconds.

That's how it felt. That last night was so gorgeous, the weather felt unreal, our kids were outside and limitless, just like they should be, I had girlfriends to talk to, Sophia had friends to play with, Mila had pizza and sand to eat. And I had my camera to catch it all. It was hard to leave after that. But perhaps we'll make it a yearly thing... and then I'll get my seconds.

Too many pictures... too little time...

I thought being on "vacation" with Lizzie, who can also kill a night on her laptop, would allow for a lot of live blogging... thought that I'd totally keep up with each day of fun. Not so much. The days are SO fun, and so full, by the time we get the kids down, and our disasters cleaned up (four kids can do a lot of damage to 900 square feet... or whatever it is) We're pooped. I work on the blurb book a little, we figure out what to concoct for dinner out of peanut butter and soy corn-dogs (about all that's left of our groceries since we can't seem to figure out a good time to "swing by" again), and by the time I decide I should FOR SURE blog, it's midnight and I feel painfully aware that there is no Ross in the morning to watch the kids while he get's ready from 6:30 to like..... 8.... my preferred wake up time. :) Oh boy. So here are a bunch of pictures. With no promise of a complete story at any time. I guess it's pretty simple. Newport Beach. Did Ikea- twice, did Disneyland, did the beach, did South Coast Plaza for PB Kids. Did my sister Melisa's house (which I really wish I brought my camera for because she just has some of the cutest stuff to photograph.... ie. house decor, son, baby belly.... ), did the Sand Box and the Park..... did the "you make me crazy and your son is too loud" "well you make me crazy and you need to teach your daughter how to recap the dang markers". Did the late night laughing and gabbing and online shopping and relaxing and BREATHING after our precious, crazy children were asleep. We did it all. And then some.

I just came back from a big break in which both of my girls were supposed to nap, but instead, Mila refused since she'd napped for five minutes in the car, and Sophia pooped in her panties. Twice. Which ruined her nap. Since she'd dozed off after the poop but before I found it. I'm in super-grouch mode now. Poor Lizzie just came out from her nap to Monster Friend. She's seen the worst this week. Sigh.

Wow.

Can you guess where we went today?

So any of you who follow the financial industry, yeah, how about that Merrill news. So it's nearly midnight, and my long story made very short is that Ross and his 'business partners' decided to resign from Merrill Lynch and join Morgan Stanley last Friday. So don't worry about him at Merrill. He is officially a Morgan Stanley guy now. Weird. (There's a lot more to it than that, but oh well. I mean they were planning on the jump, not just in response to this... definitely somewhat in response to Merrill's troubles though). (And for anyone who has no idea what I'm talking about, Merrill has been in trouble, stock dropping rapidly, possible bankruptcy speculation after Lehman Brothers, and now being bought by Bank of America... which wouldn't mean job trouble, but would mean lots of changes and challenges...breathe.....). It has been an insane couple of weeks. So much so that Lizzie decided to book her timeshare in Newport Beach for this week so we could escape the turmoil and take the pressure off the boys to get home at any reasonable hour. I feel like there's so much to blog about. But I'll just start there. So here we are. And today we went to Disneyland for the first time. Wow. We're beat. What a day.