Lillie's Blog

A windy night at the park

2012-02-17T23:23:00.000-08:00

A recent instagram that makes me happy. Red eyes and all. I love it when everyone's heads fit in a little square. Thanks for taking it Ross--- but we wish your head were in it too.

My New White Kitchen

2012-02-16T17:00:00.000-08:00

This was a bit more of an experience than I'd hoped. I love my new white kitchen. I love it a million times more than when it was dark--- I pretty much love everything in my home lighter brighter and whiter right now. BUT I did learn a few lessons that I thought I'd share. Please don't mistake this explanation for me being negative or ungrateful! But I've alluded to my kitchen dilemma and figured I should share. Clearly I would have wanted to know.

I chose White Dove by Benjamin Moore... My painter had it matched somewhere. He brought in a cabinet door after he sprayed it to get my ok and it looked lovely. However, if I'm being honest, I wasn't exactly looking that hard. I trusted my research and it looked great.. I wasn't expecting anything else. But after he took my cabinets and painted, then put them back on. My heart sank. It didn't look like that nice thick soft white kitchen. It looked almost just primed. Kinda...... blue.

It took me over a week to get up the nerve to call him back. I figured it was my fault and I'd chosen the wrong color--- and I was just sick about it. But then I went and picked up a can of white dove myself, painted a board and compared. It was So so so so different. The white I chose had some yellow in it--- in fact, if anything, MORE yellow than I thought I'd want. It looked more yellow than my swiss coffee mantle. The white on my cabinets looked blue. It was a totally different color!

Luckily when I called him, he assured me he'd do what it took to make me happy (!!) --- he came back, agreed that it looked like there weren't enough coats. That must be the problem . I really considered changing the color completely, but felt like I was pushing, as it was. And he seemed confident that all it needed was a few more coats. That it was the hint of dark wood coming through that dulled the white to a blueish grayish shade.

So now it's done. And it is an improvement from the first time, and I LOVE it. But I knew right away that it wasn't perfect. I still saw the hint of blue. But this is what he ended up explaining to me when he brought them back. Had I known this I WOULD have chosen a different color.

He explained that they have to dilute the paint with lacquer to spray it on the cabinets. Depending on the size of the spray gun, they dilute it more or less, so it comes out nice and smooth and doesn't clog the gun. That completely changes the color. He said it would never match the color painted on by hand. He didn't feel like he needed to explain this to me before because he sprayed the sample before hand, but he accidentally used a different gun to spray my sample so I got one version on the sample and a more diluted version in my kitchen. He was the nicest guy--- totally happy to do the WHOLE job again for free to make me happy. And I would actually use him again--- now that I know this.

My sister had told me that she chose swiss coffee for her cabinets and feels like they just grabbed a can of pure white because it looks too stark. Now it all makes sense? Is this what happens to everyone who paints their cabinets?

WHY wouldn't they just explain it all before, so you'd choose the color accordingly. A more saturated warmer white? OR why wouldn't they have a formula where they buy your color at a higher opacity to compensate for the diluting process???? Why wouldn't they tell you that while you spent hours researching and sampling to choose your white, you'll just be ending up with watered down elmers-glue white? I just don't get it. But in case you're in the market for having your cabinets painted... I would ask your painter if this will be an issue... and how you can be sure to get your color.

Hopefully you saw the photos and thought... what is she complaining about? And don't see the blue and just think I'm obnoxious. Or maybe you're impossible to please and see every flaw like me. :)

So, do you remember the before? Of course this is all I could come up with. The one I snapped with my phone after they took the cabinets off. I realize it's not a fair comparison since it's under construction, and there's junk everywhere... but you get the idea.

I've decided I'm a fan of Valentine's Day

2012-02-15T17:01:00.000-08:00

So we planned on making these cute cookies from 30 days blog... but we made them way too big... so we bagged the sandwiching idea and just kept them like this. Then we still didn't have enough.. so we did some cut out rice crispy treats too...

These are the tags we used for the top of their cellophane bags.

Finished product. Not as cute as Mique's heart oreos.... but cute enough.

This is the extent of a valentine gift for Ross. We don't do gift gifts. Which I'm grateful for since it's hard enough for me to pull his birthday together in January so soon after Christmas. So I did a little picture banner. A look-at-us-we're-so-in-love token above our bed in case it's a go-to-bed angry kind of night.. Whoa... way too much work to put that many hyphens in a sentence. Another lesson learned.

I just made a super simple little fake polaroid template as a 4x6 in photoshop (it's down below if you're into that sort of thing and want to download it. Open in photoshop, drag your photo on top of my gray square, right click, create clipping mask, ctl-T if you need to resize your photo to fit, hit the infinite sign above so you don't stretch it to weird proportions.) Then I printed them at Costco as a 4x6's and trimmed the bottom. If you want, you can write things like "I love you more than Hula Pie" because your photo's at the Cliffhouse and you REALLY love hula pie, or "I think you're nicer than all the white people in Maui" because you were surprised at how many white people were on Maui and how unfriendly lots of them were... really romantic things like that.

Cookies and pictures for Valentine's Day. Sometimes I'm just so innovative I feel the need to share.

Also chocolate. I suggest chocolate.

Here's my genius polaroid template.

fake polaroid.psd

PS. Can you tell I finally switched the newer blogger interface and can't figure it out. It's AMAZING because I don't have to edit the html for 15 minutes to make my pictures bigger... but I can't figure out how to make my photos stay lined up and keep my text the same size with the captions etc....

Happy Valentine's Day

2012-02-14T11:27:00.000-08:00

I remember the first time I saw this photo, thinking it was terrible. Eyes closed, no make-up, stringy hair. Recently the girls dug out some old albums and I sifted through a bunch of old photos and this one made my heart melt. After being in hiding for all these years, it turns out, I love it.

We were in the airport on our way home from our honeymoon in Cabo. I can still remember the kind of happiness I felt. I didn't think it could get any better. How could it be so easy? How could we be so lucky, that from that point on, we got to live in the same house, make food together, watch Friends reruns all night and be together ALL the time!? Way too good to be true. Life was sweet.

And it really was sweet... and it really was easy.

Having kids changes everything--- they always said so. And it is true. And this is where I sound so super-cheery-blogger-annoying.

Life is so much BETTER now. And not just because I discovered make up and that eyelash growing stuff and Ross shaved off his sideburns. It's so much busier and maybe lots more challenging and maybe I don't look quite so carefree-- but I love my husband SO much more today than I did back then. I have so much more adoration, admiration, respect, attraction ... all of it. I think my love back then was based a lot on that feeling of being wanted and loved--- still young and narcissistic. It was all about me.

I don't think I ever could have known what seeing him as a father could do for me. Everyone wants a man who's good with kids. And you do the best you can to watch for signs and hope he likes playing with his nieces and nephews--- if only that really said much. It takes a man who genuinely loves his role as husband and father and puts it above all other roles. He finds his pride and joy in those things... so it's not some internal struggle for him to try and keep his priorities straight. He wants to be home. He wants to be a part of what we do and what we talk about and no matter how tired he is, he wants to give his time and attention and silly voices to those kids at night so that every single day they know he loves them.

When he pulled out the musical handwritten cards for the girls this morning that I didn't know he'd brought home, I had this glimpse of what it would be like for them as teenagers-- with this dad.

Snoop doggy dog played over and over again while they opened and closed their puppy cards and had us read the adoring words of their daddy. I pictured bad-news-teenage-boys, and confused young teenage girls from school, and all things this generation that TERRIFY me for when my kids get older---- and I thought--- those things don't stand a chance. Not against these kids. Not with this dad.

And that's when I'm certain I could never love a person more.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Dear Finn,

2012-02-09T22:34:00.000-08:00

I know the first one's blurry... but I love that little-man-grimace you give me while you breath so deliberately through your teeth, and that hole in your knee, and your herniated belly button. That's a first for us.

YOU are 13 months old. Or you were at the end of January. Where does the time go? I can not keep up these days. Let's blame you. You're a busy guy right now.

You still nurse a little bit. It's just here and there. Maybe just once a day. And I'm mourning that coming to an end. Those will always be some of my most precious moments with you. First thing in the morning is my favorite, when I plop you next to me in bed and you roll on your side and I pull my knees up to cradle your warm little body. I get to wrap my arms around you so you're almost all enclosed-- I feel like a mama-kanga. When else would you lie still with me in bed for minutes at a time? Hundreds of seconds? Heaven. You use your free hand to try and play with my hair. You can't buy moments like that.

However, you definitely like food too. Like food food. We didn't do mush for long. It's too hard to find the time to sit down and spoon feed you. Sorry. I think you like to control your shove-it-in-your-face pace anyway. Your favorite foods are pasta, pancakes, turkey sausage, scrambled eggs, melted ham and cheese sandwiches, cuties (little oranges-- you eat these faster than I can put them on your tray) and blueberries. You're awfully impatient when you've decided you want to eat and I usually end up trying to prepare something with one arm while you're on my hip rather than listen to you scream with that grimace (see top photos) from your high chair.

I think if I kept track, you've had more midnight wake-ups than your sisters ever did. And there's been weeks here and there where you consistently get me out of bed. And we're usually not in bed 'till after midnight, so I'm tired. But for some reason, it hasn't really bothered me like it used to. More than a little part of me was happy to steal those quiet, tender sleepy moments with you. Is it because you're my third and I'm less terrified that I'm creating a monster and more like --- "eh- he's a baby?"

But for the most part, you've been a good sleeper since you were a couple of months old. And your naps have seemed so easy and consistent. You often still take three in a day, -- sometimes two. Depending on when you wake up. If you're up at 6, you go right back down for an early one. If you're up at 7, we'll wait 'till after gym and maybe just fit two. You don't like to be awake for much more than 3 hours at at time. And (unless your sick or teething) you're happy and easy and then the moment you're not, I put you down. And you don't fight it one bit. You look up at me when I lay you in your bed as if to say "ahhhhh..... it's about time." you love your bed. Is this boring to the future you? Somehow it seems significant to me. And it's my blog, look at the title.

You're not walking yet, but this last week, you made some serious progress in that arena. You love to walk with me and then push my hands away. You stand there, with Kelly Slater -like balance, and then get so excited that you start breathing all hard through your teeth again, flapping your wings, and clapping for yourself, until you sit or bend over and fall. You SORT OF maybe kinda took a couple of your first steps two days ago, a little shuffle left. We all cheered. It's coming. You're going to be a professional athlete.

Words? For sure. You say "mama" and "dada"-- I'm certain you know what they mean. I remember when your sisters were babies, I didn't feel convinced that their first words had meaning. But I'm sure you know who's mama and who's dada. I think you tried to parrot me saying "i love you' the other day too. Oh and you do "uh oh" -- and when you're calling for the girls.... it's consistent, but just "uhhhh?!! uhh???!!!" all over the house. sophia? mila?! where are you?!

You don't watch anything on screens yet. Your sisters did. Sorry... the lot of the third child, there is plenty of entertainment around here. So you have to miss out on watching bunnies jump and caterpillars creep to classical music. You watch the GIRLS watch movies on our phones, but all you want to do is stick that phone in your mouth.

Here's a normal day for you at 13 months:

7:00 am - wake, nurse, get dressed, play on the floor in our room, back and forth to the girls room and ours, or crawl downstairs alone like a big boy to play in the toyroom.

7:45 am- we join you downstairs and you have real breakfast

9:00 am- you play at the gym while I workout for an hour or so.

10:20 am - we race you home and into your bed--- where you sleep like a ......baby.

12:30 you wake up and have lunch, then play in the backyard usually, with Sawyer and Mila.

2:45 We go pick up Sophia and you drink lots of water and Mila feeds you snacks if you get cranky. Big sisters are the best.

3:30 back down for anther nap. "ahhhh..... it's about time zzzzzz"

5:30 up and ready the last few minutes of light outside with your sisters, then dinner, bath, DAD, play...

7:00 and back to bed.

I dream of making a video that shows a day in our life. So that I won't miss a thing. I can feel it right now--- that we're in a sweet sweet phase of life. Not like a, 'I bet I'll look back on this and wish I enjoyed it' phase, but like 'I wish I could freeze time RIGHT NOW and enjoy it longer.' It's a good one. And I think it has a lot to do with the fact that you still let me hold you as long as I'm willing and squish my face in your cheeks to my heart's content. That's powerful stuff.

Please don't grow up. Ok but do. At least 13 months is recorded. And if you're horrendous next month, I'll always have this post. Check.

Finn

2012-02-07T23:33:00.001-08:00

Because I didn't have time to post but hate when I open my blog to no photo. And because--

look at him.

Collage Template... still waiting for some genius to tell me what to do...

2012-02-02T22:56:00.001-08:00

So I still haven't figured out how to make something available for download-- so anyone can just grab it whenever... (isn't that possible?!) But in the mean time, I'll shoot out an email for you girls who said you'd want a template for an "instagram" collage. I'll include a 20x30 template and a 19x27 option (which is what I ended up needing for my new ikea frames.) You could obviously make it bigger or smaller, but if you need different proportions, you'll have to do quite a bit of maneuvering. Unless you don't mind the edges getting cropped in the frame etc... hopefully it helps somebody else with a little project!

Just send me your email address here in a comment (*updated since I've realized it's a lot easier to not miss you if it's in a comment instead of an email.)

Also, I posted more of sweet Will with his amazing head of hair over on my photo blog. Check him out.

*UPDATE* I think (thanks to Ainsley!), I finally figured out how to make the file something you can just download. Let's see if this works! I think it should just download right away for you when you click on it. Watch for it in your downloads. You might not see anything happening.

There are a few people that I haven't emailed with it yet, and a few who for some reason, the email didn't go through for. Hopefully you see this and it works! (Someone let me know if it doesn't??)

instagram collage 19x27.psd

instagram collage 20x30.psd

Tips for instagram collage.docx

It's all about the presentation

2012-02-02T11:36:00.000-08:00

I've always struggled with regular family dinners where we all eat at the same time. My kids are starving and begging for dinner at like 5, and Ross is home and ready for dinner by 6-- at best. I can't figure out how to make it happen! It works out sometimes, but it's hit and miss, and I'm not creating that regular conversation-around-the-dinner-table setting that I've always planned. Everyone's remedy is to give them a snack before... but in my mind, that meant I was busy and letting them fill up on crackers (bleh) before dinner. Not the goal.

So I was having this conversation with a friend the other day and she said the rule in her house is just fruits and veggies after 4... 'till dinner. I like it.

But will they? That's the question.

No. That's the answer. ( I think to myself.)

I'll have a revolt.

Can I handle a revolt in the middle of the 4:30 -6:30 night-time rush?

Mmm... I'm thinking not. I'm weak.

But then she recommended the cupcake tin. A fun way to make your own veggie (fruit.. and whatever else is healthy enough to feel ok about before dinner) tray. Put it outside for a picnic and you're pretty much mother of the year.

Beat them to their out-of their-minds hunger craze and they don't even know that what they really wanted was a baggie-o-empty-calories.

Collages framed ??

2012-02-01T13:08:00.000-08:00

So I really like them--- but I really wish they could be crazy big like the pinterest inspiration. They look even smaller than I thought they would. And even SMALLER in these photos for some reason. They still make me so happy when I pass them since there are so MANY fun moments and memories tucked in there. But I'm thinking I should print them larger and take out the mats.?? Which I'd thought about, but Costco doesn't print any larger than these 20x30's and the price goes WAY up to do a 30x40 at the printing labs I've used. Hmm...

I've had a few people ask about how I did the collages. I made the template in photoshop and then plugged in my photos... of course I've saved the unmerged file without my photos. If someone can tell me where to upload it so others can download it, then I could get on that-- in case anyone else could use a simple grid template for their photos. You'd have to have some understanding of layers in photoshop or elements. I think it would work just fine in elements too??

Anyway--- anyone know how I make a PSD file available for download?

UPDATE--- I learned how! here are the links--- someone let me know if it doesn't work.

And PS. There are easier ways to make a collage through picasa for picnik... etc... I like being able to customize and have a bit more control. But it is a lot more work.

instagram collage 19x27.psd

instagram collage 20x30.psd

Tips for instagram collage.docx

A New Project

2012-01-30T16:59:00.000-08:00

I've been loving this idea I saw on pinterest. (Here's another.) And while mine won't be nearly as dramatic with much smaller frames. I just brought home these two new collages I printed at Costco as 20x30's. Hopefully they'll be cute and I'll take a picture of the real thing tomorrow on the wall. If they're not cute... then I'll just pretend it never happened like my walls and my cabinets. (The painter is coming back tomorrow, I think, to see if there's anything we can do btw.)

I know... this is a whole lot of us. I did a combination of bw and color obviously... some quality photos and some iphone photos. Some even with the instagram filter. I couldn't decide which way I wanted to go, so I just did a little of everything.

If a tree fell in the forest and no one instagrammed it, did it really fall?

2012-01-27T11:16:00.000-08:00

Proof that we've done stuff the last few weeks.

- Hanging in our jammies 'till 2 on saturdays.

- A before of my kitchen (still haven't blogged the official after because the white is looking blue-- don't get me started-- I give up. I just give. up)

-A lunch date with Mila and Finn

-A movie date, just Mila and me

-A trip to the oasis with dad

- Ross turning 34

-The girls asleep in our bed when we come up at midnight... their new thing.

-The Diva Dash! A fun little 5k with some obstacles and RAIN! in San Diego I did last weekend with a bunch of girlfriends. So fun. Made a weekend of it.

- Rain back home and Sophia enjoying it-- or-- eating it?

-Finn after bath--

-And his little nursing feet-- I feel like it's gonna end soon. So sad.

- Mila after saying "my hands are tired of moving."

And that makes me feel all caught up.

(ps. I usually do these collages in photoshop where you have lots more control and can make it a little cuter. But I was in a hurry and so did this one in picasa and just remembered how quick and easy it is to make a collage there. I've had a few collage questions, there's your easiest option!)

Did I mention he turned 34?

2012-01-25T11:47:00.000-08:00

He's so mature.

Are you dying for a list of 34 things I love about this boy? What?-- it's been done too many times you say?

Too bad.

1. He listens to me complain about home projects for far longer than should be allowed.

2. He makes waffles and pancakes from scratch when I'm not there to do it.

3. He comes home tired from work-- but never too tired to suck all the last bits of energy out of the kids before bed-time. He's a jungle gym.

4. He always does bed time. Except on his birthday.

5. He makes rules like "let's kiss for 10 seconds every night when I get home" when he notices that we're forgetting about each other because our kids are much cooler than we are. And much more demanding.

6. He helps me put the sheets on the bed at midnight when I've inevitably forgotten about them until then, even though he's perfectly happy to sleep on the mattress cover.

7. He always packs the car.

8. And he always cleans out the car after a trip.

9. He always offers to let me have his food if I don't like what I've ordered. (I wouldn't make him trade with gross food... but it's nice to get the offer.)

10. He gets a really great ooh la la face when I've actually done my hair. It makes me feel great all night.

11. He'll never finish off a treat he thinks I might enjoy. There's always some for me.

12. He carries all the heavy bags on trips, happily--- views it as a work out.

13. He's so quick to apologize.

14. He's patient with me and with the kids.

15. He loves his family... the one he came from and ours of course.

16. I'm pretty sure he lets me make him an icecream sundae most nights just so I don't feel alone in my splurging.

17. He works his tail off so I can stay home and be a mama.

18. He respects all that THAT means.

19. He finds the good music and puts it on my ipod so I don't have to figure it out.

20. He DVR's all the shows so I still don't have to know where any channels are.

21. He wakes up at the crack of dawn to work out so he can still come home at a decent hour.

22. He laughs at my jokes and looks proud when I'm funny.

23. Any time we fight, he tells me, "I always knew that with you, it'd never be boring". Good thing? I guess that could depend on tone of voice and what we're fighting about.... but I'm gonna keep thinking it is.

24. He takes the girls to Costco most Saturdays to give me some quiet time.

25. He always makes the dreaded calls to the cable company, or Apple when we have a computer or tv issue even though I'm the one complaining about it. But he knows I'd rather bury myself in quick sand than sit on the phone for 2 hours with some guy from India that makes me start with making sure the computer is plugged in. can't handle it.

26. He appreciates food.

27. He watched the new Jane Eyre with me and didn't say anything rude.

28. Probably because he secretly actually really loves chick flicks. But usually not period pieces. So it still deserves it's own number.

29. He stuffs his closet full with his exercise ball and inversion table because he knows I can't stand for them to be anywhere else in the house.

30. He notices my eyelash growth (or says he does.)

31. He doesn't notice my waist growth (or says he doesn't.)

32. He adores his kids and gives them real, tender, genuine attention and love EVERY day.

33. He loves the Lord.

34. He's mine. (awwwww.....)

The Littles

2012-01-23T10:52:00.000-08:00

While Sophia was at school... and we were airing out Finn's awful diaper rash-- I thought-- naked babies sure are cute-- and so, actually pulled out the big camera to document it. The out-of-control cuteness.

A few Changes Around Here

2012-01-20T10:39:00.000-08:00

A few new prints from our recent family pictures by Lizzie.

I've taken a picture of this room way too many times. I'm sorry if you've noticed. But it seems to be ever-changing... so I can't help myself.

One of our favorite Dave Matthew's songs. Ross was obsessed with them when we first met so all of their songs remind me of those days. I've always just really loved these lyrics. So I made this in photoshop and printed it as one of Costco's posters so it's nice and thick (since I've got no glass in this old frame.)

I'm still waiting on the hardware before I blog the kitchen... but I also had part of my banister painted white. These ones above are the AFTER. Below is the before. I've been searching for a picture of a white banister with a dark handrail where the wrought iron had been painted white to see if I could do it. I couldn't find that. And was worried that painting the wrought iron could look scary. So I gave up and just painted the base. It still brightens it up a ton for me--- there was just something about that dark wood baseboard that drove me bananas.

Seeing these photos makes me feel like I might finally need to come clean on something. I feel like I've been keeping a huge secret since I've been DREAMING of painting my house for so long and -- ahem--- I did.

But then (duh duh duh).... I didn't love it.

Which is like the worst feeling in the world when you've been saving your pennies for a project. So I lost my desire to blog before and afters. :( So so sad. I continued to pin great paint colors--- I felt like I had a weird addiction and Ross was going to have to pull me away "it's already done! get over it woman!"

You see, I thought I wanted white. But not TOO white. But not gray. For whatever reason, I thought I didn't want gray even though I'd wished I'd done gray 4 years ago. It makes tons of sense. (You'll see that my more recent pins are mostly gray. )

I thought I wanted a creamy white. Just a shade off of white. I went too off. Way too off. Way too creamy. Way too yellow. I chose linen white by Benjamin Moore. It's a huge improvement from what it was (see above.) So it's not like I hate it. It's just still a warm yellowy tone which means I don't walk into my home and get a whole new vibe. I was hoping for a new vibe. I paid for a new vibe.

Live and learn right? I'm beginning to think I'll have to view every project as a ~~huge mistake~~ learning experience for that custom dream home we'll build some day. ;)

A Real Live Layered Cake

2012-01-19T18:16:00.000-08:00

My mom can do just about anything in the kitchen. But by the time I was old enough to be learning in the kitchen... she was BUSY--- with 6 kids and a full time job, and realized that we didn't appreciate things like layered cakes... so cakes were out of 9x13's. And our favorite was covered in chocolate chips that firmed up instead of frosting. We kept it simple. So I still remember when Lizzie taught me that a cake pan in her vocabulary, was a round pan, and what I used, was a brownie pan. I got myself a couple of them and have used them a handful of times in the past few years.

But the apple doesn't fall too far, and usually, I'm not sure it's worth the effort, especially since I don't really love cake. I mean with all of the cookie-ish things out there filled with butter and vanilla and maybe sprinkled with salt? mmm mmm.

Ross however, LOVES this coconut cake that our good friend Brooke bakes for a local restaurant. And I couldn't just throw it in a "brownie" pan after he'd seen her lovely layered version so many times. And it WAS his birthday. (whoo whoo!)

So I took a picture.

And gave it a whole post.

Because I'm that proud.

And that makes it a little more worth dirtying two pans and a cake stand.

My Mr. Clean

2012-01-18T21:45:00.000-08:00

From a recent baby shoot. This sweet little guy's just four months old. Look at his hair.

And here is my sweet Finn. Poor guy. He's been doing a bit of this lately. He's a year--- and still working on a teeny, tiny, subtle mullet in back. On a good day.

Upon finding out we were having a boy, I may have said prayers expressing how grateful I was for no more girl-hair to have to "do" every morning. If you see my girls' hair most days, you probably said those same prayers of gratitude. Sometimes we hide knots under pony-tails. Maybe this is what I get? Sorry Finn. At least you have a deliciously round head.

The last couple of weeks -- recorded, thanks to instagram

2012-01-15T23:22:00.000-08:00

Dinner out for Finn and Grandpa B's birthdays, the girls being ... cute, new years eve dinner with friends in Palm Springs, a visit from Mike, Mel and the kids, sick, blistered baby... etc... etc...

Ross is off work tomorrow. Sophia's off school--- and I could not be happier. I wish life were on more of an every other day schedule rather than a measly two day weekend. If I ruled the world....

Happy weekend... hopefully yours isn't over yet either!

My poor diseased babe

2012-01-14T19:45:00.000-08:00

We'd had at least a few days after we rid our home of strep-throat. For the second time in a row. So it's not like I'm complaining. And before that, the vomiting had only been off and on for that week stretch over Christmas. It could be so much worse. And that part I say with no sarcasm. It really could be. I keep reminding myself of that.

Finn got that icky hand-foot-mouth virus- ahem--- hand-foot-mouth-disease. Why they have to put "disease" in the name, I have no idea. Just to make it seem SO much freakier than it already is. And to scare all of your friends extra far away so your kids will not only be sick but sick and bored out of their mind. That's why.

But apparently it's "very common"-- though I've only known one other kid to get it (nephew, Joseph as a baby). He had finally seemed over the throat and ear stuff... had a couple of great days and then awoke from a luscious (and abnormal) 4.5 hour nap with two little pimples (?) by his mouth. He must have had a mild fever I hadn't really noticed. Since it starts with that. But over the next two days his face got a few more pimply things that turned into sores... and his hands became spotted with these blisters. Surprisingly, his hands didn't really seem to bother him that much (though they looked AWFUL). So once we were past the first day when the sores must have started in his mouth and throat (so he wouldn't eat) it wasn't actually that bad. But it looked awful.

Did I mention it looked awful?

And so I took a picture. (doesn't do it justice)

And so I'm blogging about it.

Now Mila has it. Booh. And the worst part might be that her sweet little face has the same sores by her mouth. And I'll catch her picking which worries me they could scar!? And do you know one of my worst aversions is to people picking at scabs and cuticles and things that would hurt--- (not pimples-- love picking pimples-- totally different)--- so even as I typed the word "picking" I lose some feeling in my legs and feel a little light headed.

Also, she said her feet hurt too bad to walk most of yesterday. That was a bummer too.

So sick of being in isolation. I think I've missed church three of the last five sundays or so... due to some rotten sickness or another.

I'm beginning to think I'm doing something wrong. Am I not supposed to be serving their dinners off the bottom of their shoes?

Here's hoping we're on the mend. Crossing fingers...

Green Smoothie

2012-01-13T12:31:00.000-08:00

(Meet Mila's morning hair. Poor girl-- I should invest in a 'bump it'.)

Lizzie made some green smoothies for my girls forever ago... and they loved them. I was thrilled about it, as veggies have seemed to find their way out of their diets these days :/...and I was determined to sneak all sorts of leafy greens in their diet back at home. Sadly, I could never seem to replicate it, and my girls wouldn't go for them at home. Now I'm thinking maybe it's because my ten dollar oster blender that we got for our wedding almost 9 years ago just wasn't getting the job done... and chewing the spinach wasn't really going over well.

Well--- a few months ago, we got the blendtech from Costco (Ross was drawn in every time the vitamix or blendtech did a presentation and finally bit the bullet) and I'm (kind of sad to say because they're so expensive) that it makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE in the world to our smoothies! Green smoothies are back and better than ever 'round here. Felt like I should spread the wealth.

Ooh-- and I threw some dates in this one (which is why you see some specks in the glass). It let a few tiny chewy chunks which might sound weird. But I kind of loved. Reminded me of mochi.

My kitchen!

2012-01-11T14:32:00.000-08:00

Of course I forgot to take a "before" until after they removed the cabinets.... but you can still get the idea. Don't you dare zoom in and try and see how out-of-control my cupboards are. I very much appreciate the ability to close a door. holy cow. I don't think I've wiped some of these cupboards out since we moved in almost four years ago. eww.

SO-- the next photo you'll see of my kitchen will be WHITE! Hopefully it will have hardware finally too..... unless I take too long to find what I want and take a photo before that part...

They took the doors today, and start painting tomorrow. I think it will take a few days before they can put the doors back on-- maybe next Wednesday? I'm dying.

Anyway--- hope the suspense doesn't kill you.

P.S

I've been working on a face lift for my photo blog... opinions? Too plain? Too many lines? Check it out.

Christmas in Orange County

2012-01-10T11:45:00.000-08:00

We started up in the loft for some hot chocolate and a little reminder of what it's all about:

Then headed downstairs for the loot!

Luckily--- we managed to enjoy the magical day-- even though Mila and Finn were throwing up off and on for DAYS. including--- THAT day. :( I think this has been our worst winter ever-- with sickness. Booh.

I certainly don't feel like I did a very good job capturing it this year. I just wasn't committed enough to my camera. It's getting harder and harder to do that. I've probably got more from my phone... ooh-- maybe I'll have to post those too. I've just really embraced phone pictures... so much less pressure, time, space, thinking-ahead.... all my style... and especially once I pick up my new iphone 4s with my Christmas gift card!...

I'm still coming out of my post-Christmas blues. At least we're one day closer to next year's Christmas with every day that passes. Hope yours was merry!

My latest lunch obsession

2012-01-09T22:18:00.000-08:00

It's kind of like pear and arugula pizza... one of my favorites. But apples instead of pears... and bread instead of crust... and cheddar instead of gorgonzola ...

whatever -- it takes five minutes and it's delicious.

Life is Good.

2012-01-06T12:30:00.000-08:00

A few from one of the shoots I just finished up...

Life's been busy. I feel like I say that every time I take a minute to write anything on here, so I'm sure it's getting old. I know it's busy for everyone. But I find balancing everything to be getting trickier and trickier for me.

Maybe it's just hitting me hard right now since I'm still trying to get through the last few pre-Christmas shoots. And I'm finding it hard to fit anything extra into a day besides the essential. And I haven't quite put photography into the essentials category.

What me-time things should be sacrificed because that's what you do as a mom? And which ones are worth prioritizing for your sanity and health? I'm sure it's different for everyone? But I think sometimes it's too easy to say "you need that! It's important that you take care of yourself!" ... to others.... or yourself--- the whole world tells you that. And I think it's totally true. But I also thing too much of that thinking can be dangerous. And unfair to your children. I'm trying to find the balance.

This is sounding familiar.... I just remembered I blogged a quote that touches on this...

ok ... so I just found it from this old post.

"Selfishness in any form or degree weakens the bonds that hold families together. The rise of selfishness in our society is the fundamental underlying trend that undermines families and makes successful marriages so difficult."

So I know I need some excercise, and some grown-up time, some hobby time, and some study time, some time for cooking, and cleaning, and organizing, some time for maintaining relationships, time to serve in my church calling, and serve in general, time to be CREATIVE, and be inspired (this is how I make pinterest sound less petty).... time for Ross, time for friends, time to be ALL ALONE..... and yet before there's time for most of this....

Time for my kids. Time to play with them, read to them, make food for them (which could consume almost my whole day if I let it... they are my children and love to eat), time to help THEM be creative, time to photograph them, time to kindly discipline them and teach them, time to bathe them and snuggle them and make memories with them and and take them to the park-- time for fits (this can really put a wrench in any time-table I think I've got)...time for homework and chores, and friends and sight words, and teeth-brushing, and scripture reading--- time for comforting and bandaging and rocking and tickling and apologizing --- time for forgiving... ...... BREATH......

Is it even possible that there could ever be enough time in a day? And then you see (or read) women who truly seem to do it all. And maybe that's where I'm an idiot. I know better than to compare myself to super-women. Some women are just insanely super. Maybe they need less sleep, or work way more efficiently, or don't waste time on the computer, or got hit by a giant meteor, or have just been blessed. And I'm happy for them and grateful to them--- they help us to strive a little harder.

I'm like 90% happy for them--- 10% hoping they're actually secret hoarders.

Ok maybe like 80/20.

SO--- my main and all-encompassing resolution for 2012 is to find a happy balance in my life with all of the extras... so that I can focus more energy on being a fabulous mom.

Another quote I believe firmly:

"No other success can compensate for failure in the home." J. E. McCullough, Home: The Savior of Civilization [1924]

Here we go.

A few more of our family photos...

2012-01-04T14:01:00.000-08:00

ooh la la.

Thank you LIZZIE for taking these! You were amazing and made me want to step up my game when I'M the one trying to get the kids to smile. You were magic. It's the best feeling to know I've got beautiful photos to fill the frames in my home!

May we be...

2012-01-03T15:59:00.000-08:00

I made this little print for the young women in my ward (church.) Lately I feel like I need the reminder as much as they do....

ok way more.

especially if I use the term "text" loosely--- to refer to email, blog, obsessively peruse pinterest for design ideas, check instagram, play hanging with friends, check the latest sales on gilt, and joss and main.... etc.. etc... etc...

I sound like I'm going backwards. And the fact that I'm taking the time to blog about this probably seems a little counter productive. Like the Berenstein Bears episode about watching TOO much TV. Always fills me with guilt.

Anyway--- reminders are good, right?

2012-01-01T22:11:00.000-08:00

Tonight we laid on the couch

(in the room with the tree)

as a family.

We listened to

Still Nacht by Mannheim

and soaked in the twinkle and sparkle

one last time for the season.

Ross has made me do this

since we first got married.

I use "made" loosely, since I wait for his lead...

but I wait anxiously.

It's one of my very favorite

small Christmas traditions.

Sophia soaked it up, just like her dad.

Mila kept saying-- "this is it? This isn't fun!"

(Because Ross had said we had one special thing to do

after they brushed their teeth------A surprise.)

She's more interested in surprises wrapped in bows or chocolate.

She's four---and she's Mila... and she's MY daughter (the chocolate)

we don't blame her.

We laughed and she got mad at us for laughing.

Finn slept upstairs.

Sophia lay silent, staring at the tree.

She's every bit as tender and nostalgic as her dad.

Tomorrow it comes down,

and I usually feel a little more ready than I do this year.

But we're excited for 2012.

I have a feeling it's going to be a really good one.

Happy New Year.

And ONE more

2011-12-30T23:08:00.000-08:00

And by one more, I mean 15 more. Is it sad that I find it so hard to pull out my big camera these days? I'm so torn all the time, on whether or not to spend my time participating, or photographing. Serious dilemma. I must say, I'm so grateful for the easy documenting of an iphone... at least I know it's captured right?

Hope your Christmas was merry!

Catching up in Instagrams

2011-12-29T23:02:00.000-08:00

I'm really hoping that after the holidays--- and after I finish up the end of my 2011 shoots.... I'll have time to blog again...

until then--- little pretend polaroids will have to do.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-22T12:26:00.000-08:00

(Front and back of our Christmas card.)

Off to soak up all sorts of family and food and fun and Christmas spirit. Merry Christmas!

It's that time of year

2011-12-21T14:24:00.000-08:00

Spare time has been hard to come by this Christmas season, but baking has been a priority. It's like icecream. There's always room.

I've decided that it's important because...

a: it feeds my children... and homemade wheat bread almost balances out the endless batches of cookies and candy--

b: it serves as gifts... and homemade gifts are the best.

c. the bread makes my house smell like heaven and I like the smell of Heaven.

d: it's thereputic for me, and calms my racing mind, which means it's worth the time... even when I'm waiting 'till midnight for my bread to come out of the oven.

One of the gift-treats we made for a few neighbors this year.... almond roca.

I love almond Roca, or toffee... whatever you like to call it because it feels so special and Christmasy to me... but it's really so easy and so quick. The hardest thing is just that you could really use a candy thermometer for it... and I'd imagine not everyone has one on hand. I do. nana na na na.

My friend, Lizzie taught me how to make this a lots of years ago when we had much fewer children between the two of us and could play all day in the kitchen.

1 lb butter

3 c. sugar

2/3 c. water

3 c. almonds (toasted and chopped up)

3 c. milk chocolate chips (I use the pound plus bar from Trader Joes chopped up... SO much better than chocolate chips... any good quality chocolate will do.)

In pot: add water, add butter and sugar, cook to 320 degrees. It's pretty mellow in the beginning, but stir pretty regularly (I should say that, but I walk away a lot during this part) When it hits the high 200's, it's getting really hot and needs constant stirring until you reach 320.

Have cookie sheet ready with sides greased and 1.5 cups almonds sprinkled on pan.

At 320, immediately pour mixture on pan.

Sprinkle with 3 cups of milk chocolate and let it sit till it melts, (it happens quickly) then spread around.

Sprinkle with remaining 1.5 cups of almonds. Let cool. (I cheat and pop it in the freezer to harden the chocolate when I'm in a hurry.)

Another recent obsession. I can't stop making bread.

I feel like I sound like a robot--- can you tell I'm in a hurry?

Oh and Lizzie gave me this recipe too.... I guess this is a what-would-I-make-if-I-didn't-have-Lizzie? post too.

Lizzie's Whole Wheat Bread

3 1/3 C hot water

1.5 T yeast

1/3 C honey

1/3 C butter

1 T salt

1 C flour

1/2 C wheat gluten

1 C oat flour (or grind up oatmeal in your blender- I don't always have this handy and just substitute white or wheat flour)

7 C whole wheat flour (I use hard white wheat, and I usually only need about 6 total.)*

Mix water, honey yeast. Let proof. Add white flour, oat flour, gluten and half of the whole wheat flour. Mix. Add salt and butter/oil. Mix. Add the rest of the flour until it barely cleans the upper half of the bowl when mixer is running. (this is much more important than getting all 7 cups of wheat flour in. It could take much less.)

Knead for 10 minutes in mixer. Dough should be smooth and elastic, but sticky. Let rest 10-20 minutes. Set oven to 170 degrees. Spray Pam on your hands and shape into 2 loaves. Put in oven and immediately turn OFF oven. Let rise in oven for 22 minutes then turn oven to 350 degrees and cook 28-30 minutes. Immediately turn out onto cooling racks.

*The amount of whole wheat flour you use will just depend on how dry your wheat kernels are and how humid it is where you live.

You're welcome.

Letters to Santa

2011-12-14T23:15:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa, What I want

for Christmas is a big

monster truck and my own

phone, and I want a doggy

with a leash, and my own

Jessie doll. And I want

a bike, please.

Sophia B. (and a picture of a phone with her name on it--- just to make sure he got it.)

A monster truck? Who knew? And a phone? Poor girl... it's going to be a LONG time before Santa agrees to that one.

Here's Mila's, she told me what she wanted to write and I wrote each word on another sheet of paper for her to look at. This was the result:

Dear Santa, please bring a doggy and a scooter.

And clearly after watching them write those, with so much intent.... mine:

Dear Santa,

Please keep them little forever.

Lillie

Putting Up Christmas

2011-12-09T12:59:00.000-08:00

Yay! I made a movie. With lots of Ross's help, which is why I'm in this one. We shot it with my Canon 5D mark 2, with my 50mm 1.4 lens. We used the song White Christmas by Michael Buble and Shania Twain, and I edited it in imovie.

There's just something about video. I already melt, watching my kids faces move on screen... I can only imagine what I'll feel like when they're all grown up and don't eat their gingerbread cookies like this anymore.

(Here's the one from Christmas day last year... maybe I'll make it happen once a year.)

Busy

2011-12-05T10:47:00.000-08:00

Here's a few favorites from a recent shoot. Taking the time to blog a whole shoot on my photo blog seems wasteful right now... there's too much I'm behind on as it is. Maybe I'll just throw in a few here and there.

We finally decorated the tree last night. I did some video and (in my dreams) I hope to actually put together a little Christmasy video from it... we'll see how that goes. Hopefully better than the ragnar video I've meant to do since September. Obviously I'm inspired by the videos over on The Little Red House.

Figured out address labels and hopefully I'll get my cards out on time this year! I'm thrilled about it.

It's cold enough that my hands feel a little numb as I type. I'm in heaven.

Just because I never got around to an "I'm thankful for" blog, doesn't mean I'm not thankful. My head is exploding with all of the things that I'm thankful for this time of year.

Sophia and Mila are the coolest girls I've ever met. My time with them feels more and more scarce already (1st grade is SOOOOO long) and it makes me that much more aware of how much I love their company.

But Mila still throws fits that make me wonder if my neighbors will call the cops on me. Although our Elf on the Shelf has seriously helped my cause. When she's not TOO tired or TOO hungry where she can't think straight, she stops herself before a fit because of Ellie (the elf.) I think it was worth every penny. Though I sure wish I came up with it... 30 bucks for a book and like a dollar store doll? Nice.

I'm eating way too many cookies and not enough vegetables. Why do veggies stop sounding good when it's colder?

Finn is 11 months and cruising all over the house. I'm excited for/dreading him walking. Wish me luck.

Trying to SLOOOOOWWWW down the days so the anticipation for Christmas can last just a little longer...... I think bread smells better cooking than it tastes.... maybe this is the same?

One way to feel like I'm "catching up"

2011-12-03T09:51:00.000-08:00

Some recent instagrams. Why is it such a ginormous battle for me to balance feeling so busy in November/December that I get anxious for January, and yet utterly DEPRESSED at the thought that this month will ever end! I love it! I wish the whole year could be "the holidays". But I know better. Such a crazy/special/precious time.

Like the best laugher ever

2011-11-29T12:07:00.001-08:00

This is Emma. We took her family pictures a couple of years ago and then a couple of weeks ago. She was a dream for me. She had so much attitude and couldn't help herself from laughing every time we begged her not too. I was in heaven.

Things have been busy around here. Lots of picture-taking, lots of editing, lots of chores, lots of time-outs, lots of homework...

luckily also... lots of cool weather, and hot chocolate, lots of Christmas music, and yummy foods, and lots of family.

I've discovered instagram which I must admit, is the quickest easiest way to feel like I've frozen and saved a sweet moment-- which makes it that much harder to justify finding the non-existent time to get over here and blog. I miss my blog. It's theraputic for me to keep it up. And I love the dream of someday having books containing every morsel.

I'm thinking in like 20 years when all of the kids are off at college. Then I might "have" time.

It's amazing what he can do with those four teeth

2011-11-20T23:09:00.000-08:00

I feel like he went from mostly nursing to eating almost anything like overnight. This boy is growing so fast!

There's no place like home

2011-11-16T23:08:00.001-08:00

- These are my new red flats. They were on sale at J. Crew. Pay no attention to what looks like an abnormal gap between the little toes on my left foot. That's weird. It's sad that it's sort of a big deal for me since I am almost always in running shoes, or flip flops.

- Mila has strep, poor thing--- so we have been stuck at home for the last couple of days. She turns 4 on Saturday and I just keep counting down the days till she's 4 1/2, which is when I swear Sophia's behavior switched over to AMAZING. Mila's tough right now. Have I mentioned it? Knocking on wood that she (in all her glorious differences) might follow suit on that little calendar item.

- Ross's parents are moving to the desert!!!!!! His dad got a job here a while ago, that was recently made more permanent, and I am constantly lost in daydreams about what it'll be like to live so close to family. SOOOO excited!

- I loved the Twilight books so much... I wish I was more excited for the new movie. I wish I could have picked the cast. I mean, that's all I ask. Just can't get used to Kristin Stewart and how she always looks ticked off... and maybe high.

- Been busy taking pictures lately. Had a mishap with my 50mm and am having it repaired, so I rented the 35mm 1.4..... THAT's been fun. What a lovely lens.

- Baking way too much bread, and cookies, and nightly pizookies. Fall is here and baked goods just feel soooo gooooood.....

- Speaking of baked goods.... I need to make a yummy dessert for our big family Thanksgiving... anyone have a recipe that's to die for?

A few of my favorites from a recent shoot

2011-11-12T15:36:00.000-08:00

I don't usually do hazy... but her expression just looked like it should be.

Lizzie took our family pictures

2011-11-09T23:15:00.000-08:00

And I'm dying to post them all, but trying to resist until after I decide what's going in the Christmas card at least.... Maybe just one.. or two. A few. THANK YOU LIZZIE!!

It's that time of year

2011-11-08T13:16:00.000-08:00

There's a couple of new shoots over on the other blog.

Halloween

2011-11-06T22:56:00.001-08:00

And just because we were in the mood for braids.

I keep waiting to post their Halloween "costumes" because I never got a photo of Finn in his cow costume and I keep thinking I'll throw it back on for one.

And I keep not getting around to it. Where did all the time in our lives go?

So here are the girls before the school boo-bash. Sophia was set on being a pirate for months before Halloween... Mila debated between all of the princesses ... and Strawberry Shortcake... She ended up wearing the braid to the boo-bash, an Indian dress out of the dress-up basket for her school party, and Strawberry for trick-or treating. Why not?

So originally she'd decided on Strawberry Shortcake. We ordered the costume and she wore it non-stop for a couple of days, after which the leggings were full of holes and the wig was a frizzy mess. She assured me she didn't care (since she still wanted to play in them) and then just before Halloween, I made her this Rapunzel braid out of yarn. A friend taught a group of us how to make them, and I figured the girls would love it for dress-up... but as soon as she saw it, she was done with Strawberry and on to Rapunzel. Even if it meant that she had to wear a normal purple dress out of the closet.

Hence Mila's "costume" above.

This was the first year where I just let them pick whatever they wanted and didn't try to sway them my way. It was so liberating! No attempts to make their costumes (the braid was an accident) or pressure to be creative or base them around some cute tutu. As much 30 dollar cheep polyester as they wanted.

Then they collected candy to their heart's content just to bag up and freeze slash throw away. I wonder what year they'll start noticing that?

From the mouths of babes

2011-11-04T13:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday she said to me "mom, your bottom is beautiful, like the temple."

I whip around from the dryer where I'd been bent over... hence warranting a comment about my bottom.

"what?"

"Your bottom is a temple, so it's beautiful."

I stare in awe for a handful of seconds as I realize where she must have gotten this.

"Did you learn that from church?"

"yeah... " and she proceeds to sing a song (I think) she's learned in primary that teaches her "my BODY is a temple."

We had a nice teaching moment, and a very nice laugh. The both of us.

She's at that age where I wish I was video-taping her most of the time. Well most of the non-tantrum-throwing time I should say... gotta keep it real. This one's gonna turn my hair gray way too soon... I can feel it.

Why Can't I blog in real time like everyone else??... it's so much more fun that way.

2011-11-02T12:11:00.000-07:00

But here I am, starting with Sunday-- when we carved pumpkins before dinner at Brooke's. The fact that we were in the garage and not DRIPPING with sweat in the photos is a good sign--- Fall is here! Even in the desert.

Pumpkin Patch 2011

2011-10-30T22:51:00.000-07:00

We look forward to this every year. It's so fun to be there and wander the pumpkins and let the kids enjoy the rides ... but for me, more importantly, it marks the beginning of Fall out here... and the possibility of cooler weather and ALL that that means.

Oh how I love cooler weather, and sweaters, and cold noses, and sou

p and crusty bread, and homemade goodies (not that the hot weather has stopped me... let's be honest) and holiday candles... and being able to go to the PARK.

I am SO excited for the next 6 months.

Here are some more pictures of our lovely evening at Live Oak with the Homecs.

And I couldn't help it. I did a search for pumpkin patch on my blog and realized I had pictures from every year since 2006 and it was WAY too fun to watch our family (and everything else about us) evolve and change over the years.

2008 wasn't our best year.

And for the record, 2010 I had Finn growing HUGE in my belly... (Sophia's hiding my excuse for everything else in that one.) Although I wish she was hiding my neon white hair instead. Can white be neon? I don't remember that. Weird.

Pumpkin Patch starter...

2011-10-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

Lots more pictures to come. But look at this boy. Look at that face, and those eyes, and that big round head. Nothing feels better than snuggling with that.

A new baby

2011-10-24T23:10:00.000-07:00

I think the yawn is almost as important to capture as the first smiles. So perfectly baby. More of Van on the other blog.

I know I'm late to the obsession.... but ... umm... pinterest? I GET it now. Here's mine in case you want to be pinning buddies and share pretty pictures. It's like a visual feast... inspiration in whatever area you need! Too addicting.. and too likely to make me try lots of new cookie recipes. But maybe all of the inspirational images of insanely ripped and toned women will counteract the cookies and it will aaaaalllll work itself out...

If not, I'll just search for some silly quote on the dilemma that's sure to make me feel validated and all better.

No but really. And such a fun way to organize all the photos that were piling up in my hard-drive under home-decor inspiration that I could never trace back to the original source and then I was all-worried I'd have people mad if I posted them without the whole "via" thing.

Ahhh... and now it's all done for me with a simple little pin. Loving it.

About A Boy

2011-10-19T12:23:00.000-07:00

You're getting big. You're getting busy.

You've learned to pull every book off of the shelf and brace yourself for the blow if it knocks you on the way down. You don't even cry. And these are my hardback. The ones just for show that we don't read. (We're like that.)

You try and climb the stairs and once so far, you've fallen back and bonked your head on the tile. I was scared. You forgot about it once you had your binky. Still, we're being more careful.(Yes, that was for anyone who's worried I'm negligent.)

I've found you playing with the plunger (eeeewwww) , and sifting through garbage, and trying to dip your hands in the toilet. I've found you eating hair-balls (I know I should clean my floors more often), toilet paper (clean), polly-pockets (and all other toys under the sun), rubber bands, and that nice gray fur that builds up on the bottom of the broom. (or is that just my gross broom because of my gross floors?)

Oh and dead crickets. I've found TWO dead crickets INSIDE your mouth on a routine mouth-sweep. Your mouth. (I know, I know.... floors... but these things are everwhere!)

I swear I'm a good mom. But this time around I've got two miniature people running around leaving bathroom doors open, and toilet lids up, and small toys on the floor. They tempt you with their sounds of joy and laughter so that you're dying to follow their lead and get upstairs, outside... wherever they are. And they.... keep me too busy to clean my floors. ?? (it was worth a try.)

Or maybe it's just what they say. You are ALL boy. Let's chalk it up to that.

Any guesses?

2011-10-15T21:44:00.000-07:00

I plan on repainting most of my house. I'm ready for a fresh new palette and I think I've finally got Ross on board (and by on-board I mean he's decided to keep quiet when I talk about it and resist giving me a speech on my fickle ways.)

I want this wall color. I mean what would you call it? Just like an off white right? Any paint geniuses with an opinion? My research is making me think I might want Benjamin Moore's Ivory white, or white linen, or cloud white.... but I can tell this is going to be an ulcer-causing decision for me. It's been happening in my head for like a year now. I really want it to be DONE happening by the end of this one.

Here are a couple of other's I like...

This one is Linen White.... obviously you never really know from a monitor though...

This last one is more gray of course...

I'm a Mormon

2011-10-13T14:45:00.000-07:00

And a Christian.

The other day, Ross and I listened to Jeffress say over and over again that we were members of a cult and could not be considered Christian. Yesterday I stumbled over to Sheena's blog, The Little Red House. And read the most beautiful post where she shared her testimony of Jesus Christ as a Latter Day Saint. I was immediately inspired to follow suit, and share my testimony on my blog. Any little attempt to clear things up for some, or even one.

But then I starting sifting through her comments and saw how even while she shared such a tender testimony of HER relationship with the savior, and explained her own beliefs, on her own blog, people still wandered over to tell her she was wrong. I was shocked. So then I decided I'd better keep my little blog quiet. I've experienced that blog debate before, and it's never fun.

BUUUUTTTT....... then I slept on it, read some more and thought maybe I actually learned something from all of her comments and felt better because of it, and maybe I could pass that along.

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Days Saints and I have a testimony of Jesus Christ.

I believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God, and in that sense, my elder brother.

I believe that He lived on the earth and performed miracles.

I believe He is loving, kind, merciful, and perfect. I have my very own, and very personal relationship with Him and am constantly striving to strengthen that relationship.

I believe that He atoned for my sins and suffered and died on the cross so that I could be forgiven for my weaknesses and have the chance to return to live with my Heavenly Father.

I believe that it is ONLY through his mercy and grace that anyone can be saved.

I believe he is literally our Redeemer, our Savior, and our Lord.

We teach our children of Him. We pray in His name. We worship Him. We learn of him and try our best to follow his example in our lives. We send our sons and daughters all over the world to spread His gospel and share His teachings.

I believe the Bible to be the word of God, as long as it is translated correctly. I also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.

I believe it is another testament of Jesus Christ written by prophets in Ancient America. Just as the bible is written by and about the people in the land of Israel and surrounding areas, the Book of Mormon contains the history and God’s dealings with the people who lived in the Americas between approximately 600 BC and 400 AD.

After reading through Sheena's comments, I actually understand the words of Jeffress and feelings of a lot of orthodox Christians better. Clearly there are differences in our faiths. They are right about that. I don't feel as offended as I was when I first heard his words. Luckily, our goal is not to have our understanding of Christ be identical to that of Christian orthodoxy. But I certainly do not believe that makes us un-Christian. I realize now, some people do.

(Read THIS article in the Washington Post about that. It's great.)

But hopefully with so many testimonies being shared, and so much being written about our faith, people will realize that “we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins” (2 Nephi 25:26).

And I guess if they don't, we'll be ok. :)

Guess Who?

2011-10-13T10:43:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while we pick something up that I didn't even know I was nostalgic for. And then it's in our home and I feel like we're one step closer to a real, warm, cozy, grown up home. Apparently I have fond memories of "Guess Who?" as a kid. I realize it's just a silly game. I just love how we get to do everything over again as parents.

As for strategy. I try and teach them to start with the broad things to eliminate more characters. "Is your person a boy?" "Is your person blonde?" But they prefer to make it last. They start with "Is yours the girl in the green hat?" "Is yours sticking out his tongue?" Slow and steady. One by one. I should have known since they still refuse to do the edges of the puzzle first. I don't know why I even bother.

Sacrifice

2011-10-09T18:40:00.000-07:00

I read this quote a while back on my sister, Lacy's blog. It's not short or sweet or catchy. It wouldn't look that good painted on wood or framed in an etsy shop. It's one you really have to read. And then read again when your three-year-old is full of crazy and your 9-month old is waking up at night and you need reminding that it's THROUGH the sacrifice that you really find happiness. I guess it just really resonated with me. I believe it so whole-heartedly. And it scares me that the world sends such a different message.

“The family by its very nature is an institution based upon righteous self-denial and sacrifice. It is not an individualistic or self-centered organization, but a highly cooperative and other-centered institution. Successful families require that men and women make substantial and long-term sacrifices of their time, money, and personal fulfillment in order to dedicate their efforts to rearing the next generation. Selfishness in any form or degree weakens the bonds that hold families together. The rise of selfishness in our society is the fundamental underlying trend that undermines families and makes successful marriages so difficult. Many today find it irrational to devote so much time and energy to the welfare of the next generation, but if this commitment is not deeply rooted in society, civilization will decline and perish, while children grow up in a moral wasteland, confused, unguided, and unloved.

“Moreover, the sacrifices that fathers and mothers make for their children ultimately will result in the greatest possible happiness for those making the sacrifices. In all of human experience, there are no joys more tender, no love more sweet, no fulfillment higher than that found in the family. Those who honor the calling of righteous parenthood will find their souls refined, their hearts purified, and their minds enlightened by the most important lessons of life. They will rise to far greater heights of happiness than those who engage in the narrow and ultimately unsatisfying pursuit of self.”

Bruce D. Porter, "Defending the family in a troubled world", The Ensign, June 2011.

(I want to be sure and express my compassion and understanding: I know that not everyone is able to have a family and I have witnessed some amazing women give so much of themselves and sacrifice for the people around them. This quote meant a lot to ME because I have three small children.)

She's really SIX

2011-10-06T23:35:00.000-07:00

Her real birthday was a little spoiled by the incident. The dun dun dun. So we saved the party for a few weeks later. She wanted a pirate party. I wanted a swim party so that I wouldn't have to come up with games. That part stresses me out and the summer had just been so busy and I was REALLY hoping to keep it simple. My friend, Lizzie has the most amazing house with a beautiful big pool that she was so kind to offer up for it... so we did a pirate pool party.

Last year, I was so concerned with getting some cute birthday party photos that I spent way too much time making things picturesque. Pretty sure Sophia didn't care that the bubbles were labeled or the cupcake toppers were matted. So I decided to take it easy this time.

I let her pick the friend-list and she kept it nice and small. We did pizza, fruit, pirate's booty, and cupcakes. Some of her best friends were there. We swam, Ross led them in a "diving" contest, and they went on a treasure hunt and found an awesome treasure box from Captain Blackbeard (he's a reoccurring story for our kids and might rank up there with Santa.)

It was perfect. Everyone had fun and was sufficiently sugar-crazed by the end. And I could sit back and witness it all. And I still can't believe she's 6.

Reading

2011-10-04T11:46:00.000-07:00

One of the reasons first grade has been tough for me, is that Sophia has not been nearly as... interested in reading and writing as I'd hoped. Kindergarten was wonderful, but I did end the year knowing I planned on making up some time over the summer. We tried. And tried and tried. But it just wasn't going the way I'd always pictured it going. My creative attempts and patient voice didn't help, Sophia had decided that school was hard and homework was not fun and while she loves us to read to her, any attempts at getting her to read (even just the words she knows) usually ended badly. She would get so frustrated so quickly.

Her kindergarten teacher had told me once that Sophia's biggest challenge is that she's so hard on herself. So if she struggles with something, she just wants to write it off. She doesn't want to do it and fail. We've really worked on this -- and obviously we've taught her time and time again that everybody makes mistakes... that that's all part of learning and that's why we practice ... yada yada. But she would still get exhausted and frustrated after pointing out a few of her sight words in a book I was reading. I was feeling so discouraged. I want reading and learning to be a fun, positive thing, but she would fight me so much when I tried to work with her on it. Homework time became this combination of me being sugary sweet and dangling all sorts of rewards, her not giving in, me getting sterner, her storming off in frustration, me sneaking off for a mom--time-out.... it was a downward spiral. Too often, we were both grumpy and exhausted by the end.

I felt lost-- "WHAT am I supposed to do? I don't want to push her too much and make reading and learning a negative thing. But I don't want to let her get behind just because she doesn't 'want' to do it. At what point do you teach them--- yeah, sometimes school sucks, but you HAVE to do it if you want to be a smart grown-up. ?" You know?

This is one of the reasons I was so stressed when she didn't get the teacher I'd hoped for. I knew we might have some challenges this year, and I figured the least I could do was get her set up in the best possible situation with a teacher that could 'make learning fun.' Because clearly, I'd failed.

My point in writing this post was positive. I think we may have, quite possibly, maybe just turned a corner. (!!!) I'm still knocking on wood.

But the other day, she grabbed Hop on Pop, a simple Dr. Seuss book perfect for brand new readers. One I've tried to get her interested in reading since kinder. She said, "I want to read this mom." And she read it all. Of course I knew she could. But now SHE knows she can. She was so excited that she could read a whole book... she kept saying these amazing things I've always wanted to hear like:

"I love reading mom"

"I want to read this book again and again and again mom"

" I want to read forever and ever mom... reading is SOO much fun."

Oh my.

Pinch me.

Ever since, she's been carrying it around, reading it here and there. She came in our room the next morning and started reading it aloud at 6am. Usually we'd make them be quiet--- this time we didn't.

She's picking up other books and trying them out, realizing how many words she knows, and how many she can figure out. And always, I can see it on her face, the astonishment and pride that she just strung together a whole story.

I feel like it's changed her whole attitude. I'm still knocking on wood... but it's soooo much better. And I feel like we may have just turned a really big corner. This girl makes me so proud.

This is Carman and Tony

2011-10-02T17:07:00.000-07:00

A shoot from right BEFORE my hard drive crashed

2011-09-30T13:48:00.000-07:00

Soccer.... Round 2

2011-09-29T21:39:00.000-07:00

(Poor girl would usually have her hair pulled back, but this was the weekend I was gone for the Ragnar so obviously she had the same hair all weekend.)

So.... we're doing soccer again this year. I may have... sort of accidentally, sort of intentionally let the deadline slip and skipped the sign ups. Then Ross was all heart-broken about it and Sophia kept talking about how she couldn't wait for soccer to start up again (so she could get a snow-cone afterwards... but still) so I scrambled and emailed and called and got on a wait-list and while we were in Hawaii, Ross's dad signed her up. We were committed... again. Even after last year's wonderful experience.

And if you read that post from last year... you'll know that this is A BIG DEAL:

SHE LOVES IT!... and she's (ahem) GOOD! It's like something just clicked and she realized that if she just GO's... few girls will really get in her way. And if she GO's all the way to the goal, she'll score one. She never scored a goal last year. And in the two games this year, she scored once in the first game, and three times in the second. I missed the first game but witnessed it all come together in the second... and it really did feel like once she scored one... it aaaaalllll made sense.

There's still hope of that happy soccer-mom I once dreamed I'd be. Let's talk when our spectating is accompanied by sub 100-degree temps.

Oh, and you love bath time...

2011-09-26T22:25:00.000-07:00

Finn-man,

In a few days, you'll be nine months old. NINE months. That's about as long as you spent growing in my tummy. You've got two older sisters (as you can tell by the cinderella you're holding in the first photo) who have been through this stage and yet every day, I'm still amazed. Amazed that a year ago, you were still forming finger nails and such, floating around with your eyes shut, busy giving me all sorts of heart burn and doing dances on my sciatic nerve. And now? well now you've got all kinds of tricks.

-You're developing quite the sense of humor and love to lean back and bonk your head on your highchair while you eat, and laugh about it.

- You talk when you cry... and I can only imagine what you're trying to say. We all know you've heard plenty of whining and crying and complaining in our house to learn a thing or two about it. Heaven help us. You are already learning to chatter through your woes.

-You still love to nurse and I'm SOOO relieved after being apart from you for Hawaii, AND a weekend for the Ragnar. I've had more than enough of being away from you for a while.

- You just got your two bottom teeth and you didn't appreciate it. I think you're working on your two top now, and it's meant that you're waking up around 4:30, which is unusual in our house, but I almost don't mind. Just you and me snuggled up when the house is so quiet and still.

-OH I almost forgot... you started crawling!! A few weeks ago, at about 8 and a half months. And now you're all over the place. And I've never seen a cuter bum wiggling through the air.

- You KNOW me, and miss me. And I MISS you.

-You've learned to hate diaper changes and I have to pull out all the stops to keep you happy and on your back.... it usually involves a random item hanging from my teeth for you to try and grab WHILE I'm laying you down.

- Although, most of the time, you are a happy, sweet, even-tempered baby. You are relaxed and giggly and full of joy. You are one of the good ones.

- We think you're the best one.

- Your sisters say you're the cutest, and then take it back and say, "but every baby in the whole world is the cutest" (because they're nice like that), and then I tell them it's ok to say you're the very cutest. Because you're ours. And you are.

The Rest of the Ragnar

2011-09-24T22:37:00.000-07:00

So the night before it all started, we rolled into town just before 4, with plenty of time to check in to our hotel, and get ready for a fun dinner out in San Francisco.

(All of these 'in the city' photos are from Lizzie.)

First time I've ever taken the trolley... I could just FEEL how picturesque it was. Hanging on to the handle while riding into the sunset. No matter that I was hanging on for dear life and millimeters away from being squished between mine and the oncoming trolley, and my purse was accidentally resting in an old foreign woman's lap in front of me, and two men that smelled like garlic were sandwiched on either side of me... a bit closer than I'd have preferred.

I love this shot Lizzie got of Roxeanne.

This is teacher Robyn, Mila's preschool teacher. I've heard stories since the race, of how she thought about every other van-member's strengths, and that's what got her through her 3 mile hill. Or how she declined music, so she could pray while she ran. :) I love this girl. She is one of the most gentle, kind, women I know. We were all reminded why she's the one who can handle teaching our children, while raising four of her own.

Ordering at Boudin. I know I look focused. Let me just confess that ordering at a restaurant can really be an ordeal for me. The problem is that it's just so important to me that I make the right decision. I get emotional about food, you see, and I hate wishing I ordered something else. In a perfect world, I'd have one of everything. I love food. It's a serious dilemma.

Tara and I decided to share the crab feast. And just in case you go there and the menu persuades you that it's enough to share by the title of "feast" and the waiter assures you that it's enough to share with large hand gestures... don't be deceived. It was NOT a feast. Although we are two nursing mamas, Tara... maybe we'll blame the fact that a "feast" is not enough for us on our beefy baby boys.

Now... back to the Ragnar... which started the next day at 4:30. Ok it started at 6. But we had to wake up at 4:30. Which we had just done the day before to drive up to San Fran. All this knowing we would get no sleep the night of the race. oh boy.

We literally ran past and through vineyards like this one. The scenery was so beautiful. I almost wish I was wearing Ross' head cam. But not really-- that head-light was annoying enough.

Meet van 1:

I ran track in high school. But that's about where it ended. I've run on and off over the years when I didn't have a gym membership. But I was never in it for distance, and probably rarely ran over three miles. When this was first planned, I was a little terrified for the distances. And of course the idea of running three different runs in the course of a day and a half with no sleep. Plus I had just had Finn and had like 40 extra pounds on still and had a hard time running up my stairs.

BUT--- as it turns out, I got off pretty easy with two 4.5 mile runs and a 5.8. Jenie had a 9.2, and Dayna had a 7 miler, and after last minute leg-changes from Ragnar, most of the girls in the other van had a 7 or 8 mile leg! Some of them a couple of them... I'm amazed at all of them still. I don't think I could have done it.

Pumping was.... a fun addition. Thanks for not being too grossed out by the water bottles filled with milk in the cooler, ladies. That stuff is liquid gold.We finished the first day at like 11 pm, at which point van 2 picked up with their second legs. They had it rough with those hours. If we were able to sleep, it would have been nice to sleep those hours from like midnight to 4. But we had a little mishap with the rag-mag (the ragnar magazine full of maps and directions that they try to keep very confusing just to toy with our already exhausted minds).

We finished up our second legs with Lizzie and then Karley. Lizzie came through the shoot with sheer anger on her face at the Ragnar for sending her through a pitch black "forest" with little to no signage directing her which way to go. She back tracked and tacked on milage to find other runners to join up with. Later they came across two random men (not runners) in the middle of the forest watching them. A little creepy, especially if your a 30 year old woman running all by yourself at 11pm. A while after her run, we got a text from Ragnar saying there were reports of "harassers on leg 17" and to watch out.

Thanks ragnar. Seeing as we finished 284 out of 330 teams, I'm gonna guess that text was a bit late for most.

We were all a bit freaked out, and sent Karlely off on her next leg determined to stay right on her. (Lizzie's didn't allow us to follow at all.) We stayed close to Karley, and it's a good thing we did since it still scared her to death. It was pitch black, she had like 3 feet of shoulder on a fast, windy, busy road, and dark trees and bushes on her left. It really was scary. I had always envisioned this big group of people... like for sure you would have people in front of you and behind you at all times. But there were lots of times when you didn't see anyone for miles.

Anyway, we ended our legs emotional and happy everyone was ok. Off to the high school gym for some sleep and possibly a shower?

We get there, and it's dark. Only a couple of vans in the parking lot and no gym open. We talk to one of the other vans

right place?

think so!

where is everyone?

Don't know... we'll watch for porta potties...

oh hooray (a little later) they've arrived... must be in the right place.. why is it closed? Who knows... we're tired... brains working slower... reconfirm address- it's right... check the rag-mag... weird. Where are all the people? Where do we sleep?

So we take out all of the seats in Lizzie's van and attempt to sleep with four of us on the floor and two in the front seats. I think I would have rather been running. It's a funny memory. But it was an awful nap. I was unsure how my body would work after being bent up like a pretzel for 3 hours. Dayna was wedged under the luggage and managed to sleep. Lizzie, Brooke and I were all in a row and had to be perfectly spooning to fit. And my knees were tucked up by my belly. If I tried to turn the opposite way of Lizzie, our bums would hit and my knees wouldn't fit anywhere. Sometimes I stuck them straight up to the ceiling to stretch... I probably slept for a scattered 30-45 minutes... it was... an experience.

But the worst part was when I headed for the shoot that morning and got a text from the other van, "where are you?"... I look around and don't see them. Look at Lizzie confused. And then it hit us. We were at the wrong exchange.

It was a huge bummer for van 2 since they had to wait for us to pack up our van now and drive over to the correct school. It was sickening to me that a mere FOUR miles away was the school we could have slept at--- stretching out on a highschool gym floor never sounded so good.

But we survived it all... and started our last legs at like 4:30 or 5 that next morning.

I almost grew to love these babies. Not bad for portas.

Jenie on her LAST leg--- 9.2 miles. Mostly uphill. I think Ragnar should try harder to frontload the runs... and give the longest legs at the beginning and have them taper off. But then maybe that's supposed to be part of the challenge. No thanks. I did not envy Jenie, having to muster up the energy for this after two other runs and not ONE wink of sleep. This was a little after 6 am.

And this was when she was all done. Ahhh...

Brooke ran into Nordstrom to use the potty during Lizzie's run and came back with a new necklace. Of course she did. She's the one who named our team, mind you.

The girls in my van.

And the girls in van 2:

We are all friends from church. Stacy and Karley have both moved away over the last year and a half or so, and we still got them to come back and join us for the fun! I feel really lucky to have such an amazing network of moms and dear friends out here. I never would have guessed there'd be so many gems in one place.

The Real Housewives captains, and their diamond rings...

I thought it'd be the kind of thing that I might do again if you asked me in six months when I'd forgotten the pain. But I honestly felt like I'd sign up for another one right in the middle of it. Even bent in half in that van. There were challenges, but it was more fun than I ever would have guessed. There are bandwagons that are just worth jumping on. And this ragnar thing-- I get it. SO fun.

The Napa Valley Ragnar

2011-09-21T23:20:00.000-07:00

Did I mention I was doing the Napa Valley Ragnar last weekend? I did! ... with 11 other women, and there's so much to write and so many photos. But as usual, it'll take me a while to get around to. So for starters, here's a few photos. Lizzie took the one of the bridge while I was on my first run. I had the very first leg at 6am and it was dark for the first half. It was a nice little 4.5 mile run. I got to run to the bridge and over about a mile of it, then they turned us around and went back. Sadly, they couldn't get the approval to run all the way across the bridge. But it was pretty surreal.

186 miles covered, 12 runners in our 20s, 30s, and 40s, 2 vans, 34 hours. It took us a while. :) We ran from San Francisco to Calistoga and saw some of the most beautiful scenery along the way. We didn't sleep. We were all wildly emotional by the end. And I'm desperately trying not to recall half of the things I said and did in that state... but I could never have imagined how much fun I'd have, and how bonded I would feel to these women. I thought this kind of love was left in my past with girls camp and high school sports. It felt good to get it back. :)

Um. That is not how I run. Like I'm a little tea cup. I really don't think that's how I run. I must have just checked my iphone or something. er...

I skipped from the very beginning to the very end. I'm not leaving it at that--- there are so many photos I want to share. But I was anxious to start... and it's midnight, and I still don't feel like I've caught up on sleep.

The Rest of Maui... finally.

2011-09-20T09:34:00.000-07:00

(Lizzie's photo)

Part two of Maui got good.

We left our lovely Marriott timeshare and our poolside restaurant for a YMCA in Kenae, on the way to Hana. It all started back at that Marriott pool, where we met this cute young local family staying there for the weekend. They were giving us ideas of what to see and where to eat and they suggested taking TWO days to do the road to Hana. Well where do we stay?

"Uh-- in one of our cottages that sleeps four, that overlooks the water-- for $125 a night." They say.

I have to admit it felt a little crazy, to leave the comforts of our resort for this cottage in the middle of nowhere. Until we got there, and although there was no food for miles each way, and our dinner consisted of protein bars and fruit that Shad had picked along the way, it was amazing. An adventure within our trip.

I think the morning we woke up there was my favorite morning, even though it was on the heels of like 4 hours of sketchy sleep vs. the luscious air conditioned, black-out-curtained hotel room back in Kaanapali. There was just something magical about waking up in this quiet paradise, and exploring what was around us (we'd driven in when it was dark and couldn't see a thing the night before)... and (literally) eating coconut for breakfast that the guys knocked off of a tree.

I mean we wouldn't have starved or anything. I may have had plenty of chocolate covered mac nuts. But it's still true. So a little closer, here's our darling little cabin. And some other sights that morning...

Oh... so when that little YMCA family first started giving us ideas of where we should go, they recommended a 'hip' little pizza restaurant in Paia... since we were "young and hip". Lizzie was so gracious and thankful for the compliment, and said so a few times--- so late that night when we arrived and grabbed our key out of the box, this is what we found:

And clearly, that was Lizzie looking hi- to the -ip.

lizzie's photo

This was our third trip to Hawaii with Shad and Lizzie, and every time I'm reminded of Shad's obsession with free fruit. He talks about moving there and growing a bunch of banana trees for work. Lizzie reminds him that bananas cost like a quarter and that it'd probably be really hard to make money.

But it's really fun to have him collect tons of fruit from trees and the road for us to enjoy in our jeep. It made it all feel that much more... authentic. :)

We decided to take a quick hike to this waterfall below. Shad and Lizzie beat us to it and were all swimming like crazy people. (it was COLD). So we succumbed to peer pressure and jumped in. Definitely one of the best moments of the trip.

The black sand beach. Turns out it's really the black-pebbled beach.... but still beautiful.

A little fake-tilt shift for fun----- of the seven sacred pools.

I wish we'd swam in those pools... but we were racing the clock by this point, and we decided instead to hike through the bamboo forest, to the waterfall below.

Lizzie took these gorgeous bamboo ones... and lots of others... any I'm in of course.

Then back to civilization and showers and just enjoying the beach at the Marriott...

The end. It's about time.

Mila

2011-09-13T00:32:00.000-07:00

Sweet Mila,

I was looking back at the post below, and I see these pictures and I remember the moments of the day where you smiled just like that. Usually your teeth show too, but your nose scrunches up and your eyes squint and I shake my head in awe at how darling you are.

Usually it's when you're asking for a show or some bubble gum, but sometimes it's just because.

Sometimes it's when you've snuggled into me and pulled my head close to give me a good lippy kiss. Sometimes it's when you're thanking me for your snack or when I come in to get you at the gym and we reunite. I look at these pictures and I remember your soft morning voice and fluffy bed head, and all the times you told me you love me, and the way you use your tender mama voice when you're talking to Finn. I remember the good things...

I'll continue to post pictures of this smile.... so that perhaps I can repress the... other face you make all day. The one that usually accompanies shrieking. I know that your sweet side is as sweet as they come... but girl...

You are ON one right now.

And maybe pictures like this will get me through this phase we're in... the incessant fits and whining. The irrational screaming and discontent. You are lucky this smile is so cute baby girl. And that your sweet--- is dang sweet. And even with all of your attitude, and need to be SOOO three, I am so lucky to have you. Our home would have a hole the size of Texas, without you in it.

2011-09-12T14:18:00.000-07:00

Mila's back at Teacher Robyn's preschool again this year. She's a good friend from church who has a handful of Mila's best friends attend in her home. It's the most darling group of kids and is so ideal to me. She loves it and wishes she "could go EVERY day!" I'm wishing 1st grade felt so good...

I think I was meant to be a mom of kids under 5. I'm googling homework sticker charts as I blog. I need some help motivating. I need help with a lot of things. HELP!

Misunderstood?

2011-09-11T20:41:00.000-07:00

I remember a long time ago, I saw someone write in their sidebar something to the effect of "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it on my blog." I wondered why anyone would be saying mean things on that particular blog in the first place. Now I know there are plenty of people that just like to say mean things under a faceless name.

For whatever reason, I seem to get an occasional mean comment. I don't allow anonymous comments, but it doesn't matter, they just put in some name. Sometimes it really hurts my feelings. Sometimes I think they're loony tunes.

I recently got one on the post about lice-- don't worry, I deleted it-- I don't mean to make a big deal out of it. But it did make me a little concerned that maybe I was sending a message that I hadn't meant to send? I thought she was just loony tunes. But I can't bare the thought of other people sharing her sentiments. So I just wanted to clarify.

In the post about Sophia's head lice... yes I did want to (partially for comic relief) try and assure myself and everyone else that we are not dirty people. That doesn't mean that I think others who have gotten lice are dirty people. I guess I hoped that was obvious since I'd just been through it. I know from the things I read that that is, however, an old-school sentiment... and wanted to help set the record straight. For selfish reasons of course. But I'm not sure that makes me shallow. Maybe it does?

Also, I said "In the future, if I ever get one of those notes home from school or think my kids were around some poor kid who got lice..."

And for heaven's SAKE, I didn't mean POOR... like a kid without money! Really??? It seems insane to me that it would be read that way. But maybe that's only because I'm the one who wrote it? Just please know, (in case my unfriendly commenter wasn't alone in her concerns over my humanity) I mean "some poor kid" like "poor baby". Like some poor, unfortunate kid (just like Sophia) who was unlucky enough to catch it from some other poor, unfortunate kid. And by unfortunate, I don't mean like "without fortune" as in without money. Oh boy.... this could go on and on...

So Rochelle, clearly you've made your mind up about me. Please feel free to move on. There's a wide world of people to criticize online, if you're into that sort of thing.

Parasailing in Maui

2011-09-10T20:22:00.000-07:00

Doesn't it look like we had fun? I think I smile when I'm nervous.

I never ever thought of it as something that would be scary. Maybe I'm afraid of heights? Never knew it. Always heard parasailing was really peaceful and thought I'd love it. But once I got up there, I just kept thinking--

"yeah that's good... I get the idea... 12 minutes huh? I have three kids at home. I can't die. A quick up and back down would really suffice.

Should I wave my arms like a weirdo so they bring me down? That means I'd have to release my death grip on these straps. These straps that have my bottom nice and secure, and they assure me can hold a truck... but are hooked on with one of those metal things that seems like little more than an over sized necklace clasp. I'm sure they'll hold me nice and tight while we both fall to the bottom of the ocean.

And then Shad will tell everyone at the office that Ross chickened out. Although Ross does look a little nervous himself... "

How many feet was it Ross? 1200? I'm bad with stuff like that, you could say 120, 1200, or 12000 and I might believe you. So don't laugh if 1200 sounds outlandish. We were high.

It didn't help that the two guys who took us out seemed like the kind that had beer for breakfast. Didn't instill tons of confidence.

The best part was when they brought us down and dipped us in the water. So those smiles are sincere. And that was a fun rush. The rest of it was peaceful and still. Which just gave you lots of time to think about how hard the water would feel if you fell. (VERY-- as it turns out, 'because it's super dense from all the salt', as the boat-driver with the wad of tobacco in his bottom lip informed us.) Thanks.

BUT--- it's checked off my list.

On another note. I am having computer hell. We're working on "the restore" on our brand new hard drive after the crash. And apparently, with our amount of data, it could take like three weeks. WHAT? I think that's what I get for keeping most of my images at like 21 megapixels from this camera. And not cleaning up enough. But I am so lost without all of my familiar files and programs. It's like I've got this empty shell of a computer. A stranger--- impostor-- in my friendly little armoire.

These pictures were taken by the boat guy and on their own little sd card... hoped they'd hold me over since I'm dying to post the rest of the trip that I had all organized and ready to go!

I miss my old hard drive.

The "Dun dun dun"

2011-09-08T20:41:00.000-07:00

Let me lead with a few quotes that I dug up on the ever-reliable world wide web.

"A common misconception is that lice infestation is a result of poor hygienic practices. In fact, it is actually believed that head lice prefer clean hair to dirty hair."

"Getting head lice isn't a sign of bad personal hygiene or an unclean living environment."

"Having head lice does NOT mean the person has poor hygiene or low social status." (ouch)

Now that we've made that nice and clear.... Sophia, my sweet CLEAN :) Sophia, had LICE!!!

Lice. LICE! I've heard of people getting it. My mom says some of us had it as kids. I don't remember ever having it, though I remember having a tick burned out of my head that was burrowing it's way into my skull once.

I knew it was one of those things you might face with school-aged kids. But I didn't think I'd face it like two days into first grade.

As it turns out, once I starting scouring the internet for information about it, she got it before school started... it takes longer than a few days to get to a point where you would notice anything. I had heard about it going around a bit before our trip to Hawaii, and freaked out, imagining it hitting us right before we left town and ruining the trip. But I checked the girls a few times and saw nothing out of the ordinary.... then took off to Hawaii and didn't think about it again.

I discovered it last Thursday morning, when I went to do her hair for school and she said it itched.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... I get the eebi jeebies again just remembering that moment. I started inspecting her scalp right where she was itching and saw a couple of moving bugs!!!!!

"Roooooooooosssssss!!!!" Thank goodness he was still home. So after calling my pediatrician, he went out to get me everything we might possibly need to fight this INSANE war.

My ped told me to use 1 tbs olive oil, 1 tsp tea tree oil, and 1 tsp eucalyptas oil mixed with an equal part of Johnson and Johnson's baby shampoo.... to wash with it and leave it on for 30 minutes. We did it... and I started the dreaded "nit-picking" (never realized where that term came from, assuming it's from this?) One fell on the towel we were sitting on, and was still crawling....

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! THEY WEREN'T ALL DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So we went for treatment two, the stuff most people use, RID. But first I had to blow dry her hair since you have to apply it to dry hair. Now I'm picturing them flying all over my bathroom. Is your skin crawling? Mine hasn't stopped since last Thursday.

Now as much as I don't want to treat my kids with pesticides, that is NOT why I chose to try the other route first. I wanted to do whatever it took to kill these nasty bugs. But my doctor didn't even tell me to use the shampoos, they said that lice have built up a resistance to the pesticides used in the lice shampoos over the years, and that they are not as effective as they used to be. But that these oils did a far better job. And as a perk, they won't kill your kids. So I tried 'em. I wasn't so sure... so then I tried the other stuff too. In hindsight, I think a few just died a little bit slower of a death.

Which might not be such a bad thing.... they deserve it.

So back to the nit picking... where my hands dive into my sweet daughter's head of hair that I just saw crawling with live bugs.

I can honestly say that (at the time) it was one of the hardest things I've done as a mom. I was trying not to seem too disgusted... worrying it would hurt her feelings. And I still can't get over that while she has been SOOOOO sensitive and easily offended lately, she was barely phased by the idea that she had LIVE bugs in her hair. She was afraid to lay down in the bath water to rinse her head, for fear that a bug would come OUT of her hair and get in the bath and "get her".

...

But it didn't bother her that they had already infested her head. ?? Don't know.

The other crazy thing is that for school on Wednesday (the day before I found it), I had braided her hair in two braids. That means I'd parted it and really gotten my fingers in there, and I didn't notice a THING. These suckers are really small.... but what I really think happened, and it's really disgusting, is that some eggs had just hatched overnight. Which is why she was suddenly scratching.

Are you still reading? Or is this way too much information and way too gross. Eggs--- filled with blood-sucking bugs--- hatching in your hair.

It's like that scary story from those old "scary stories" books, where the girl has a big zit on her cheek and then it hatches in the bath and baby spiders crawl out. Oh no... it wasn't a zit at all. I think that haunted me in my preteen years. Maybe it still does.

Back to Thursday... BLACK THURSDAY, I think I'll call it. Because I will never forget that day. After the second shampoo, it was 11 am, and from that point, until a little after 7pm that night, I was hunched over Sophia, in all sorts of weird positions as she tried to get comfortable, picking through... almost literally, every SINGLE hair of her head. I put it all in a pony and took a small section at a time and went through a teenie line of hair... over and over and over and over.... most tedious thing I've ever done....

I fed Finn as quickly as I could when he needed it... Put out bowls of snacks on a blanket on the ground for the girls, and switched out movies, precisely FIVE times.... but other than that, it was eight hours of STRAIGHT nit-picking. Ross came home once in the middle of the day to help clean the house and wrapped his day up early. He took the two little ones for the last hour or so while Sophia fell asleep on the toy room floor with two strawberry girls in her hands, and I picked through the last small section of her hair with a big flashlight on her. Poor thing... she was so tired of it all.... but such a good sport.

(no idea why my font changed there... can't figure out how to fix it- sorry)

After they went to bed, we scoured the house, washed everything I hadn't already washed that morning, and bagged everything else (soft stuff... barbies, stuffed animals, clothes etc...) to leave it in the garage for a couple of days. (They say that lice can't live over 48 hours off the body, so to bag anything they could be hanging out on.)

I've picked through her hair every day since, and I don't think I'll ever be the same. I'm pretty sure I'll be doing a quick check every morning at breakfast for the rest of their childhood. Those nits are TINY... SO tiny, and practically invisible. They're not white like I've read some places online. They are... invisible. seriously. Or at least on Sophia's hair. They are pretty much sandy blonde. And it makes me sick that they all had to GET there somehow. And that I didn't see a darn thing until I started SEARCHING. Seriously. I don't ever want to go through that again. And I wouldn't wish it on ANYBODY.

Which is why I thought maybe just MAYBE it'd be helpful to write this all out for somebody.

In the future, if I ever get one of those notes home from school or think my kids were around some poor kid who got lice. (Um... by poor- for the record-- I mean some unfortunate kid who was unlucky enough to get lice.... not like some kid with no money. Got a mean comment... better just make that nice and clear.) I would wash their hair THAT DAY with the oil mixture... or the shampoo. Nothing kills the eggs... but if you got a bug in your hair from someone else, which is how it all starts... a shampoo could kill that bug before it lays any eggs and RUINS YOUR LIFE.

Ok it's not THAT bad. But almost. In hindsight... maybe it's not as bad to me as I thought it was?? But I think I've felt like that through every difficult mommy thing. It's always kind of empowering to realize you've survived something. Dramatic? Let me know if you think that after you've done lice. I could have died of non-stop heebie jeebies. And I was seriously considering shaving her head about three hours and three inches in to her hair. And I love her long hair!

Warning: if you google images of nits, bring a bowl, because you will want to throw up. And for the record, that is NOT what Sophia's head looked like. Her's were here and there, and SOOO hard to find... not some nest of white eggs like someone dumped tapioca on her head. But disgusting nonetheless.

We watched Jane Eyre a couple days after, and I couldn't stop thinking about what they must have done in the old days when they got lice. They must have had it forever. Or just dipped their head in kerosene like my grandma did. While that day, I kept thinking.. "it's 2011, I can't BELIEVE there's not a better way to do this"... I guess it could have been worse...

Am I gonna regret sharing all of this? Please don't shun us. If you do, we'll sneak into your house and give you all of our old hair ties.

My hard drive crashed

2011-09-06T23:18:00.000-07:00

UGHHHH--- what a bummer. I was without a computer for a few days there... maybe it was good for me? But I got dizzy from all the walking toward my seat and turning around when I realized it wasn't there.

So our data was technically all backed up, but now we're trying to figure out how to retrieve it all. It's supposed to be an easy process, buuuuuuut..... It's been "restoring files" for like 36 hours now and I believe the number of files remaining has stopped going down. And I'm not in the mood for another roadblock. It's been sort of a rocky week or so.

Part 1 of THE vacation

2011-08-31T21:08:00.000-07:00

The view from the balcony.

The other view from the balcony.

Just... a nice view. ;)

This .. of course, is Shad and Lizzie... some of our oldest and dearest friends out here. This is our third trip to Hawaii with them. We went 5 years ago to Oahu, and 2 years ago to Kauaii. They have a timeshare with Marriott. And we have.... LUCK--- that they still like us and let us enjoy it with them. It was EVEN more fun than it looks in the photos. Really.

Paddle boarding. Not very fun this time... we were the suckers that rented the boards at like 3pm... right before they closed up, and right during the windiest, choppiest part of the day... we watched Shad and Lizzie drift down to the next town (almost) and went out to suffer the same fate. Mostly I laid on my belly and tried desperately to paddle my way back to our starting point. It was like paddling on a treadmill... worked my tail off to stay in one spot. Eventually I stopped paddling and just laid on my belly and watched Ross stand and fall... stand and fall. We got a good laugh. Cross-fit can only do so much I guess. ;)

Ooh... but (below) somehow Lizzie got a shot where I was standing. Sorry Ross.

Too bad I look like I'm sweeping. I'm going to assume that's not correct form.

Day three, we started our "adventure" of the trip. We headed toward the beginning of the road to Hana. We started in this darling little surf-town, Paia.

After Paia... we made the drive to.... Kanae (?) where we stayed in a cottage through the YMCA so we could get an early start, from a much closer point, to our to-and-through-Hana journey, where you essentially explore the GORGEOUS east side of the island. I'll save that for part 2. There are way too many pictures from that.

I just remembered I haven't seen the million photos from Lizzie's camera either. We might have a part 2 to part 1 eventually. Consider yourself warned.

THE FIRST DAY

2011-08-30T11:55:00.000-07:00

I'm not gonna lie. It wasn't good for me.

She was a trooper, even though none of her new shoes fit and we had to make do and use some old sunday shoes while we quickly put in a new order at Zappos. Thank goodness for free-return shipping--- I've gone crazy there lately. We are NOT stocked up on closed-toe-shoes around these parts.

I'm glad to see her smiling in this picture, because I kind of want to cry every time I think about her being there right now. I know she can "handle" it. But I want it to be a lot better than that. I didn't get the teacher that I'd hoped for... and while I'm sure this teacher has all sorts of strengths, I worry they're not the right ones for Sophia. From my impression, and from what I've heard, she comes off much more business-like, less warm and fuzzy. I respect that personality in a lot of areas--- but with my sweet and sensitive little not-even-six-year-old---- I want as warm and fuzzy as I can get. I know her. And I KNOW that a tender, kind voice and warm expression go a LONG way with her. She's so obedient and so kind. She lives her life to avoid being scolded... so when she deals with someone that uses too firm a voice or attitude... it breaks her heart. And don't get me wrong--- sadly--- I use a firm voice (sounds much better than "I yell like a madwoman") often in our home... but rarely at her... she just doesn't require it that often. And she doesn't respond to it.

It's strange, because I don't think it's fair to judge someone off of a first impression and some hearsay--- but I guess when it comes to your child, you're not so concerned with what's fair. I just want to know that I've done everything I can to put her in the best possible situation for the year. I worry she's not in it right now.

I seriously feel like I haven't been able to sleep the last two nights... I'm so hopeful and anxious to try and make a switch... but trying to figure out the best way to go about it. And of course trying to feel out Sophia and figure out what will really be best for her.

I just feel like every step forward in parenting is TERRIFYING to me. A first-grader? Are you kidding me? I never feel prepared enough, or aware enough, or old enough. And I'm thinking I never will. I feel like that principal is going to look at me like I'm a silly teen-mom who wants her daughter to get the cool teacher. I know I'm flattering myself. I realize no-one else thinks I look like a teenager still. But inside I do... I'm sure of it.

Would it really be so bad if we just ran around playing strawberry shortcake and building forts all day? I think I miss summer already.

So glad to be home

2011-08-28T23:32:00.000-07:00

But that doesn't mean I won't be pouring through Maui photos for days.

Big topics:

-Finn will still nurse. I was terrified.... and all is well.

-Sophia starts first grade tomorrow and I have a nervous sick stomach. 2:45! That is SO much of the day. I still can't figure out how we're supposed to find time after that for homework AND play and family time. And I happen to think the latter two are important... contrary to this book. Have you read it? Very interesting.

- Lizzie started up her blog again-- just in case you were as sad as me when she stopped. Dear friend, lovely blog. And lots of yummy, HEALTHY recipes popping up right now.

- I was ACHING for my kids by the last day or two of Hawaii... especially Finn. :) I am so so happy to be home, but it took all of 30 minutes or so for Mila to start unleashing her fits on us. You think of anything--ANYTHING and Mila can throw a fit about it right now. A cup, a seat, a noise you make, a smell, your mention of a smell. Holy cow. I keep asking her, "did you act like this for Nana"... she'll stop her insane fit to say "no" and then continue on thrashing. She saved it all for me. Sweet thang. Even still, I missed her to death.

I HOPE she saved it all for me. Either way, Nana and Grandpa, you are SAINTS for snuggling our most precious treasures for the week!

Did I mention we're in Hawaii?

2011-08-25T21:49:00.001-07:00

We head back tomorrow... And almost all I can think about is how badly I want to see my kids...

....but... I'll force myself to soak up one last night. if I must. And maybe enjoy some hula pie...

(first time blogging from iPhone!)

I just feel like I need to take a moment and talk about eyelashes

2011-08-16T23:10:00.000-07:00

I wish I could do a before and after. But I wasn't exactly taking pictures to try and showcase my eyelashes before. They were just extremely unnoticeable. You know how cartoon animals are made female by their luscious eyelashes? If I were a cartoon animal, people would have totally thought me a boy.

I'll always remember a few years ago, getting ready for a work party and getting my make-up all on, and then my friend, Lizzie got to my house and said, "wait-- don't forget to put on your mascara!" She hates that I won't forget that. But it was eye-opening. (A pun? Almost, but not really.) And maybe these don't seem like much to you. I really don't feel like photo booth was quite doing them justice. But I tell you, I feel like a NEW woman.

My friend Syd manages a nice makeup store, and gave me some Revitalash to try out after I took her and Nate's photos. I was skeptical. As I usually am with... all products in general. I just sort of feel like you can spend so much money on nice "stuff" and look and feel exactly the same. Maybe I'll eat my words again some day when everyone else has smooth skin from using anti-aging creams and I look a hundred from cooking in the desert heat. We'll see.

BUT--- after setting it aside for a month (after I used it once and it made my eyes red and itchy)-- I tried it again. I was more careful to not let it get in my eye and started putting it on consistently at night, after washing off my eye make-up. (I add that part in because I am that girl who never bothered washing off her eye makeup at night. If you saw me during the week, I was most likely in work-out clothes and day old mascara. I know... I know. All up-kept girls are shaking their heads in disgust.) Syd would die when I told her that. 'Well no wonder you're eyelashes won't grow!'

So I went all out. Started using the Costco make up wipes for my eyes (I have always washed my face at night, just not my eyes.) And I'd use the revitalash every night. A few weeks in, I thought I might have noticed a teenie difference. Just maybe. After 3 months, I felt, SERIOUSLY, like a new woman. When I wake up in the morning, I SEE my eyelashes. Even with no make up. They curl up against my lids instead of sticking straight out where you can't see them...and they're so much longer...

They're a little wild, which can be tricky-- they cross over each other a lot more and curl to the side instead of back... but I'll take it. I'll take my wild, cartoon-girl-animal lashes.

SO-- what I felt like I should share, is this. My friend Brooke found a generic version of the product online. Instead of paying like 150 bucks a bottle, these are 30 bucks a bottle, WITH a purchase of 6 bottles. If you buy just one, I think they're 50, and then you have to pay shipping. So find a few friends that each want a couple-- and load up. You'll NEVER go back.

(But do your own research, if we all go blind in ten years, I don't want it on my hands... but it's glaucoma medicine... meant to go in the eye... I'm feeling ok about it. For whatever that's worth. :))

A Wedding

2011-08-15T15:26:00.000-07:00

Lot's more over here.

just because

2011-08-14T09:10:00.000-07:00

An overnighter with the girls- Palm Springs

2011-08-12T17:20:00.000-07:00

When I take pictures of other people, I LIVE for genuine smiles and laughs and varying expressions. I love people who are naturally animated and not afraid of the camera-- people who raise their eyebrows a lot and laugh with their mouth open and don't stop what they're doing when they notice the camera pointed at them. I am not one of those people. I get frozen smile every time the camera's on me and can't remember what I was saying or thinking... I even forget to breath sometimes. Seriously. It kills me to look through pictures I'm in and see the same smile over and over again. I look at these pictures and think... these do NOT do it justice! We had so much fun! We should be laughing and telling stories and generally looking SUPER FUN. Ok so lots of our fun was laying half asleep in the sun or in bed, which might not have photographed well anyway-- such is life for a mom on break... but still.

I was terrified to take this trip originally. We planned it a few months ago--- sadly, Rachelle moved away from us a year ago and this was an excuse to have her come in from Arizona and make a girl's trip out of it. They stayed in town for me, since I'm nursing Finn. We didn't have him taking a bottle when we planned it, so I thought I might just be running back and forth and meeting up for just a couple of activities. But THEN, Lizzie and Shad got the dates for their timeshare in Hawaii and kindly reminded us that the offer for us to come with, was still on the table, if it were possible for us to get away, with such a young baby. Young baby was not invited. :) They don't get away often-- and quite frankly, I love my kids more than anything in the world, but I do NOT love traveling with kids. I'm just not sure it's worth it. So if it was going to happen, I would have to figure out if I could stomach leaving Finn, and he would have to finally agree to take a bottle (I've never succeed in this with my other babes), and some babysitting miracle would have to work out.

The Hawaii trip got me motivated to try harder with the bottle... even though I DESPISE pumping. Why?

- I feel like a cow.

-It hurts a little-- nursing doesn't.

-I feel like a cow.

-It takes up a good 15 minutes for me, nursing takes like 5.

-And then you still have to FEED the baby the bottle... which means it's just an extra chore in my eyes, no matter how you look at it.

-And I feel like a super gross cow.

BUT-- Hawaii was good motivation, and I'd always wanted to get him to take a bottle since a little more freedom could come in handy with two other kids.. etc.

After some persistence-- and working it in the first feeding of the day when he was HUN- gry. It WORKED! I couldn't believe it. I really didn't think it would. I didn't think I'd even have an option. And all of a sudden I did. I pumped every night to build up my supply "just in case" the rest worked out. THEN-- Ross's dad got hired with a new company in--- Palm Springs. Which means, he's living down the street- pretty much. After he got the job he let us know that all we'd need to do is fly out Ross' mom and then they could stay in our house and watch our kids if we wanted to do Hawaii. WHAT?! This was way too perfect.

Hmm... I've seriously digressed. This isn't the Hawaii post, this is PS girls trip. I think my point was that this was a very nice trial run. Since, as you can imagine, I'm still TERRIFIED to leave Finn this early. He'll be just about 8 months old. And luckily, for the two days I was gone, Ross handled it like a champ and said it was no big deal and that Finn was a super-baby. There may be a conflict of interest there since he's sick of me freaking out about it all. And really wants to do Hawaii. But he's generally honest. So I'm gonna go with it.

Anyway-- I left this trip remembering that getaways are fun. SO fun--- even though packing is not and leaving kids is emotional. And girls are special. The older I get, the more I CHERISH my friendships with women and truly think, regardless of our differences, we need each other.

By the way, some of the pictures above are from Norma's, for breakfast at the Parker. Holy cow. I decided to be good and shared an egg white fritatta with shrimp with Lizzie-- which was delicious. But I want to go back and do it right and get the chocolate pound cake waffle. Yes... a waffle, made out of CHOCOLATE pound cake.

sounds like heaveeeeeeennnnnnnnn.....

I forgot one

2011-08-10T22:22:00.000-07:00

(The kids taking turns telling "scary" stories around the fire.)

The bonfire is always like my favorite part of being at the beach. Growing up in San Diego, bonfires were part of my life. And there was nothing quite like being at the beach all day and watching it transition into night... then enjoying that same beach when you can barely see it. I think the darkness makes your other senses stronger and suddenly the sounds of the ocean crashing and the smell of the salt and the fire are all around you. Good for the soul.

Beach House Continued

2011-08-09T20:32:00.000-07:00

-The weather was gorgeous.

-Our fan was loud and powerful enough that I slept without AC (my body seems to be addicted to artificially cool air now), and with all three kids in our room.

-Bagel shack was as good as ever and I've been craving their Acai berry smoothie with bananas and granola on top, ever since.

-The kids were at perfect ages... since Finn still sleeps so much and can't crawl around and eat sand. And the girls can play outside all day.

- I'm SUCH a fan of fun trips with friends. More fun for ALL.

Got back a couple of weeks ago. Had an overnighter last weekend with girlfriends in Palm Springs. And going to HAWAII next week!! More on that later. But I don't think we've ever had such a busy summer. This is nuts. I can't even remember what my routine is. Especially because Finn's keeps changing-- and mine is based on his.

I feel like every time I finally get to the bottom of my laundry baskets, I'm packing for another trip... and coming home with a bunch of dirty clothes to start all over!

But it's worth it. The triple digits have barely phased me this summer. And I'm NOT begging for Fall. But maybe that's because I'm afraid of first-grade homework.

I'm all over the place. And too lazy to re-read. I think it's because Bachelor Pad is on in the background and making me stupider by the second. I'm not sure if I can watch another episode if I have to listen to Casey and Vienna for a fraction of what I've suffered through tonight. They make Jake seem almost.... normal?

Beach house with Homecs 2011... just a start

2011-08-05T14:14:00.000-07:00

This was a few weeks ago... it's our third year at the beach house in San Juan with our friends Brooke and Tyson.... one of the most looked-forward-to weeks (3 days.. but still) of the year. Last year I did a video of it--- just to get us through 'till this year. Right now, I've got too many pictures to work with... and am getting way too behind with all of the summer FUN. So I'm just starting with a few.

I cannot BELIEVE school starts in two weeks. Where oh where did the summer go?

"She's a wild one, with an angel's face..."

2011-08-03T14:45:00.000-07:00

As usual, Mila was having a melt-down today, screaming because Sophia wanted to draw, and so wouldn't play Pirate Princess with her.

"I'll play pirate princess with you." I offer--- thinking for sure this will cheer her up instantly. I'm a popular play-mate around here lately... unfortunately. (I LOVE my kids... I don't really love to play pretend.)

"I don't want to play with YOU.... you do we-ewd boices (weird voices) when you play!!"

And all this time I thought I was scoring points for that. All the wasted efforts. They just really know how to put me in my place these days.

The Bachelorette

2011-08-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

I can't remember the last season where I really cared who was picked at the end. Usually by the end, my favorite is gone, or we've learned too much about everyone to even have a favorite. But THIS time, I was so on edge through the entire episode-- sick for her that she had to dump one of them... both genuinely nice guys who were so in to her, and both TOTALLY thought they were winning it.

Ashley's sister was revolting to me-- so smug and arrogant to assume her 5-minute-impression deserved to be set in stone... which made me feel so sorry for JP... poor guy didn't know what he was getting in to when he got all freshly shaven and buttoned up for that family. But I have to admit, it may have made me realize that it's true, he wasn't much of a funny guy. (The sister decided he was NOT the one for Ash when Ashley balked at the question "does he make you laugh?") But besides that (and the fact that he wrote "baby" in his letter to her :/) I think he's a catch.

Meanwhile... Ben got cuter and cuter. Even though he does resemble the caveman from the capital one commercials a little. And even though his hat last night with all of his bangs fluffing out made me a little nervous. He did seem a little refreshing and casual compared to JP. Maybe I was rooting for him by the end.

And then she crushed him. It was awful and painful and his long hair was blowing sideways which looked kind of silly to boot. Which was a bummer. And she let him get down and propose which is always a big no-no if she knows the answer's no.

But I'm still an Ashley fan. She was fine to me last season. But I actually really loved her by the end of this. I think she's funny and quick and natural and generally really kind and sincere. She gets ripped apart for being insecure and delivering messages wrong, but I think she's just normal and not repeating the politically correct bachelorette/robot lines of the past. I mean she did say her fair share of "connection" and "chemistry" and "journey", but I think she does it less than any old bachelorettes. So she deserves that.

I read this post about the show that destroyed Ashley and JP--- I disagree with almost all of it... and felt so sad realizing all the mean things you must read about yourself after being in the spot light.... but it's pretty funny and comprehensive... if you're into that sort of thing.

sigh--- is it really over? it's always a sad day for me.

El Capitan In Photos

2011-07-31T18:05:00.000-07:00

This took way too long to get all of these pictures up... so writing seemed daunting... somehow it was less so if I told myself I didn't have to write in paragraph form.

It was so fun.

Kind of cold in the mornings, perfect in the afternoons.

Which is dreamy to me because I live in an oven. Remember?

Except when I had a fever and couldn't warm up and had to sit in the bottom of the tiny hot shower for like an hour at 6am.

I couldn't get enough family.

Or enough little crispy chocolate chip TJ's cookies.

Or enough of Ian's camp cooking.

Or enough of the wise old trees.

The beach was gorgeous.

Besides the tar stuck to all of our feet. Eww.

We hung.

We ate.

We had s'mores around the fire.

The cousins ran around, jumped off of logs, explored, climbed trees, rode bikes, went for hikes.

We woke up with cold noses.

And didn't brush our hair for three days.

A success.

Seven months and eating solids

2011-07-30T15:13:00.000-07:00

It's official. These pictures were taken a couple of weeks ago when it wasn't quite as official. He was spitting more out than he was taking down. Maybe that's why he still looks a bit skeptical above. But today he ate a whole jar and a half, which seemed like a feast. His little spirit fingers went wild and his wrists and ankles did a thousand circles... which is what happens when he's excited. And I didn't have to trick him by waiting for him to open his mouth for something more appetizing like his fists, before I snuck it in.

He's really eating people food. Whipped into an inedible consistency of course, but people food still. And for the third time, I feel kind of scared, then amazed, then relieved... when I remember that the goal IS to raise them-- which means they evolve, and that eventually they have to eat like the rest of us. And not only smell like sweet (ok-- or sour) breast milk. And even though his nose might turn orange from too many carrots, and his wildly colorful spit-up will be so much more dangerous for my upholstery, and all bets are off on just how nasty his poop will smell... I somehow feel a little safer knowing that I'm not the only one that can keep him alive.

Excuse me while I take up 2 weeks of blogging with vacation catch-up

2011-07-29T21:57:00.000-07:00

MY beautiful nephew, baby Isaac.

After Newport... we dragged Lacy and Joe and kids back to our house for a few days of fun. Above, we did the usual hotel-pool-borrowing. And the iphone documentation.

They actually slept like this. For part of the night at least. Before Millie melted down past bed time and ended up in one of the beds, and then Sophia came to us in the middle of the night complaining about Joseph's feet being in her face and ended up in the other one. But it was just too cute to me, we got the air mattress ready on the girls' floor.... and of course it looked WAY too fun for just Millie and Joseph. They were all so excited to sleep together on it. ...

Or I thought they were 'till I looked at this photo again... maybe it was just my kids crowding yours, Lace? Look at their faces. "uhh... what are they doing in our bed?" Either way, it felt so good that they were old enough to pile into a room like cousins should.

Below: On a day-trip up to Idyllwild. Most of the pictures are in the Red Kettle where we ate lunch because... we didn't do much more. Turns out not much was open after that. Slow season I guess? And it was still pretty hot up the mountain, so the kids wore out fast. So maybe we did drive an hour plus for burgers and shaved ice. Note, it's more fun to go to Idyllwild during the winter. Thank goodness for really great company. And thank goodness kids don't care if they get to pick a toy from the charming little vintage toy shop in an old town, or Walgreens by our house.

Both of my girls are really into posing for the camera right now. Have you noticed? I'm really thinking I should be taking advantage of it. I've had big plans for a real "shoot" with them some day. And I just know that by the time I get around to it, they'll both hate the camera again. Just wait.

I lied, I'm starting at the beginning... which was Newport

2011-07-25T20:54:00.000-07:00

Lacy and Joe came out (all the way form Florida, which is why my world revolves around it when they're coming) a week before the big camp out. And we started off meeting in Newport to play with Mike and Mel.

We had adjoining rooms! This made the biggest difference. Even if it did inspire us to eat a huge Cafe Rio Pork salads and peanut m&m's at 10:30 at night after the kids were tucked in their beds.

Thankgoodness for the whole i-world. I am so grateful for the few extra minutes of sleep. And NEVER having to surf the creepy hotel channels.

We stayed in a comfortable Marriott with a bedroom and living room-- which of course we've realized, makes traveling SO much more doable. We spent one afternoon at Mel's house, and the next day at this little Ocean Center in Newport where we met Nana and Papa--- and then did lunch-- kissed them goodbye-- and hit the beach. One of the best afternoons at the beach ever. Too bad I have no pictures from that. Just imagine the best afternoon at the beach ever. And imagine me at my goal weight. I mean, while you're at it.

Oh wait--- the iphone pics from Ross! maybe there are a few from the beach... too hard to reorganize:

OK, one from the beach-- in their hotel towels (shhh)

The end. For now.